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The Ark (2023)
Massive potential,.. completely wasted
Story, characters etc.. are all good on paper, massive potential for great sci-fi storytelling.
But poor character writing & development forces 1 dimensional characters into pigeonholes & tropes that are about 30000% more "Force feed the audience!!" than they need to be.
Most of the actors have enough "ability" to blunt this massive problem but Reece Ritchie, is just by himself so forced,.. and his lack of ability breaks what little suspension of disbelief there was. This also makes the bad character situation even worse and draws attention to it everywhere else it occurs, then it's omnipresent and makes the show almost unwatchable.
And That's BEFORE the basic 101 RUDIMENTARY physics/science blunders that NO sci-fi show should suffer from at this point in filmmaking. 2 extra hours of review would have saved giant holes in the story that wouldn't have made huge budget/time changes.
Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)
Interesting and funny people talking to Jerry Seinfeld who conversely is not interesting or funny in this at all.
It's like someone saw Top Gear (which came out in 2002) and said "Whoa!! wait a minute comedy and cars is a can't miss formula!! get the biggest name in comedy and the best cars and it will just be a money machine, it doesn't even have to be any good at all."
Ten years later or so we got just that.
Funny as the show was most likely stolen (Christian Charles pitched the show idea to Jerry in 2002, he turned it down, then in a stroke of genius "came up" with the idea ten years later)
But enough about that, how about the show...
It's a show that has Seinfeld in it, so it's going to be a smash no matter how poorly executed, but let's take an objective look at it anyway....
The "Car portion" is a hook that doesn't work.
Occasionally it's part of the humor/convo but really Seinfeld just reads stuff off a queue card, and occasionally parrots some info about the cars. He's obviously not knowledgeable or passionate about these cars at all so the fact that they're there is meaningless for the most part. They could be replaced with nearly anything and it wouldn't matter other than to initially get the Top Gear set to try watching it (then abandoning it shortly after)
It could be "Comedians with teapots getting a pedicure" and the show wouldn't really change much (might actually improve it).
You expect (with Seinfeld being a vet of standup and the fact that they get to edit all they want) that the show would be full of quick comedy back and forth, but it's not. The show is lackluster even after editing it for only the choicest bits.
The really sad fact is that Jerry Seinfeld needs a script, or some written material to be funny, he's not an "On the spot" comedian. He's not quick witted enough for it, and that comes across in spades for his role as interviewer/conversationalist/whatever.
Essentially he's *Almost* as funny as Mike Wallace without any of the interview chops.
The only saving grace of the whole show is that the guests are genuinely interesting and funny, even though Seinfeld does nothing but ask the most formulaic, insipid, questions and when a guest finally does get started and is being funny/entertaining "on a roll", he tries to "hop in" to the comedic banter which generally "puts the brakes on" the entertainment and just feels sad/awkward.
Seinfeld also comes across like having to do this show is a major nuisance to him. And that he has no real interest in these people (even the supposed close friends)
From the opening of the first episode to the final credits of the last, he always seems like he's forcing any show of mock interest and you can see it fade/disappear quickly often. He'd rather be doing 2000 other things and it shows and/or he just doesn't care, either way it's not engaging to me as a viewer and I find myself often wishing someone else was hosting the same show.
I went into this thinking Seinfeld wouldn't get into something like this unless it was a 100% sure thing, and I honestly thought he would have a lot of fun with it and with his name/clout/cash expectations, it might be genuinely entertaining outside of the formulaic sit com type arena.
Unfortunately while his name may ensure season after season of filming based on the die hard fans alone, the quality of the content simply isn't there. At the end of it all what I learned is that Jerry Seinfeld isn't someone I would even want to talk to, let alone have coffee or a drive with, and that watching other people (even really entertaining people) have to endure him isn't much better (even with really interesting cars in the mix).
Just go watch Top Gear (I may throw up a little as I type this,..) even Top Gear America is more entertaining by and large.
Fred Armisen: Standup For Drummers (2018)
As a lover of comedy and a drummer this show had nothing to offer me. Almost all the "Harsh" reveiws are TOO kind.
This review contains information contained within the show but I didn't list it as having "spoilers" as it is literally impossible to spoil this syphilitic turd any worse than it already is. I consider them "Valid warnings" instead.
Fred Armisen is to comedy and drumming what Harvey Weinstein is to beautiful hollywood starlets.
Having said that,.. Do not watch this for any of the drummers listed that are guests. They have micro bit parts and this show does not showcase them in anyway. They are literally exchangeable with ANY other drummers in the world and it would make no difference. They do not have any contribution to the show other than being seen and being a marketable name in the credits.
The "for Drummers" part is just a vehicle to allow him to work in some crappy (and I do mean CRAPPY) music related(ish) comedy into the show. I guess he thought it would seem funnier if presented to an audience that thought they were being catered to. (it wasn't)
It is worth noting though, that this show is just as ungood, unfunny, and uninteresting for non-drummers as it is for drummers.
I don't know if it's an insult to drummers to think this would pass as entertaining, or just a lack of ability on Armisen's part. I mean, really even at his best he's not a "Top rate" comedian, but this was poor beyond even the gracious allowance I was willing to give him for being a both mediocre drummer and lackluster comedian.
All the comedy seemed more like the "before" notes that a good comedian uses to write bits/jokes/gags with that they will eventually flush out, work with, rework and workshop, and eventually make ready for stage.
The "circus song joke" was an example of that (and really encapsulates the whole show perfectly) Rather than flushing out a good joke and Believe me trusty readers this joke WRITES ITSELF on many many levels,... he just phones in this half-ass Seinfeldesque "Hey did you ever notice when..." type crap.
His joke is (words to the effect of) "Hey that circus song, bet the guy who had the circus heard that and was like hey can I use it, and the guy who wrote it was like sure Ok go ahead, and now everyone comes up to him and is like Oh hey the circus song and that guy gets all mad like NO! it's not the circus song I know cause wrote it Grrrr..." AAAnnd end comedy....(or semblance thereof)
The song in question was written by a Czech composer called Julius Fucik (which most musicians and anyone who took band would recognize as he was a huge march composer and you'd go around band saying Fucik all the time) but right there,.. that name alone gives you a goldmine of comedy go to's, completely ignored.
Then the actual NAME of the song,.. it's called the "Entry of the Gladiators (Thunder and Blazes)" for crying out loud!!! Again it writes itself!! Add one and work THAT into the joke and it's about 200 times funnier than your original meh attempt, (cause y'know 200 times nothing..) plus the crowd learns something which is also fun! (Another hallmark of great vs meh comedy, which he must on some level realize as he takes a stab at it later and completely misses the mark again anyway)
I'm no comedian but it seems to me that setting up the plight of a guy named "Fucik", who writes a song called "ENTRY OF THE GLADIATORS" that gets used as an intro for clowns and trained poodles is a million times funnier than "Oh I bet that guy was like grrrrrr when people say "Oh it's that circus song and it wasn't!!"
That theme of "missing the mark and rampant half-assery" continues through the show to a level that is as astounding and depressing as it is consistent and omnipresent.
Being in a band, and especially being the drummer has some seriously HILARIOUS observational opportunities, but he neglected them entirely.
The "for drummers" parts of the show where he plays the drums (mediocre I might add) is just playing snippets of drums from a major song from major drummers..like that IS something. He's like a crappy drum instructor who you pay for lessons and then instead of teaching, he just plays songs at you. For each snippet he just played and left, there were opportunities for great jokes about the style, the drummer, their styles, their bands,.. things that would have floored drummers and non-drummers alike,...again all 100% ignored.
"Drum kits through the ages" Again just circumnavigates all those GOLDEN opportunities for comedy. Which y'know what,.. I'd be 100% fine with if it was done in a really factual, interesting and entertaining manner,.. but back to the formula of mediocrity,.. he just gives a crappy "fringe summary" info. If you're already ignoring the comedy at this point, don't half-ass the historical info and entertainment value therein...
As the credits of the show indicate, somehow he got some notable drummers to be a part of this crapfest,... which has zero impact on anything other than those same credits.
Then he tells the audience (all people in bands) These are things that happen if you're in a band.... and dose those things...
Note, these aren't *FUNNY* things, they're just things.
So by his formula,.. here's a instant Fred Armisen comedy bit for dentists:
"Have you ever noticed that suction makes a sucky noise but sometimes it also makes a............(wait for it)....... *whistling* noise!" *pause and nod for dramatic effect, pad that for a few minutes, then mime a dentist char, make a suction noise quietly for what is -obviously- too long, then suddenly make a loud whistling noise* "Thank you!! No, you're too kind you're a great audience! "
This whole show felt like someone came in and told Armisen:
"Hey we need you to do a show, and we have 20 extra drum kits laying around for some reason, an audience that we've already paid to fill the seats. They've all signed an NDA saying they will never write a review or talk to another person about the show under penalty of death. It also isn't being recorded and everyone has been paid to applaud and laugh on queue."
Then THAT knowledge alone was what drove the entire comedic process and putting the show together.
Fred just needs to have a youtube channel where he plays drums as it seems he REALLLLLLY needs people to know he can copy a bunch of signature (not even difficult, just "known") drum riffs and play them...(so much so he's willing to forego all comedy on his comedy special to get it out there I guess).
There was absolutely no reason for anyone (Drummer or otherwise) to watch this in lieu of anything else that doesn't involve Kanye West.
Ohhh,...
In retrospect,.. it does say "Standup For Drummers", and not "Standup Comedy For Drummers" and he *was* standing up *for* a room full of *drummers*, so,.. 100% possible it was my mistake in making assumptions about there being implied comedic or entertainment value. For that reason I had to add five stars to my rating giving it a total of one star.
Or to put it another way,...
My girlfriend likes me to convey how horrible a show is based on how much money I would have to get paid to watch it again. You would have to pay me no less than $120 or the equivalent trade value in goods to get me to watch this show again willingly.