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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
Better Than The Original
I'm not a huge fan or the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It suffered from bad acting and pacing, and didn't start getting interesting until the last 20 minutes or so. This remake is a significant improvement on the original. The acting and production values are way better. Jonathan Tucker I thought was especially good, even though he was the only one of our main five who actually looked straight out of the 70s. The real show stealer though is R. Lee Ermey as Sheriff Hoyt, the unprofessional, perverted, possibly fake sheriff in cahoots with the Hewitt family. He starts unassuming enough, but it doesn't take him long to go full drill instructor. It's awesome. Not spoiling anything, but his last scene at the gas station was so satisfying.
Leatherface does some disturbing stuff to the first couple victims, even if some of the other kills are a little underwhelming. There's some stuff that could've been cut, like the tasteless euthanasia scene and pointless baby subplot. One scene I think the original did better was the part where Leatherface falls and cuts his leg with his chainsaw. Here it's a quick little scratch that looks like it barely did anything. In the original you see it slice deeper and deeper into his flesh and looks so painful its hard to watch. Another thing I liked about the original that the remake lacks is a unique score. The original's industrial score added some personality. This movie has a generic "horror movie" score that gets the job done but not much else. My only other criticism is that there was no dinner party scene. I respect this movie for trying to change it up, but that was the best part of the original. I wanted to see what they would've done with it.
At the end of the day, this is a pretty good 2000s slasher movie, and I wouldn't mind watching it again sometime.
Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
Pretty Funny
This movie is pretty funny, but you need a very peculiar sense of humor to appreciate it. If you're like me and burst out laughing at the idea of wild animalistic clowns making honking noises with their red noses to signal their attack, Freddy Got Fingered will make you laugh so hard green goo will spurt from your nipples!