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Beyond the Black Rainbow
Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010)
2/10
Mind-numbingly boring and slow
29 November 2014
I'm mystified by all the positive reviews of this movie. Either the reviewers are deluded and think dullness equates to great art, or the movie has something that I just don't get.

I sat through 30 minutes of utter boredom, including droning music straight out of an old Dr. Who episode, waiting for the movie to move out of first gear. But that didn't happen, and quick skip through the rest of the movie showed that little else happened after that.

I'm not an action movie freak - far from it. I like movies that are different, and take their time to build characters. But this movie didn't even do that.

Not recommended unless you suffer from insomnia.
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Unfaithful
Unfaithful (2002)
8/10
Surprisingly good quality, intense drama
15 February 2014
The plot alone might not make this movie stand out, but it does stand out because of the excellent acting, spot-on pacing, dramatic tension, and competence in all aspects of the production. It's a high quality movie that does not deserve labels like soft-core porn or soap opera.

Diane Lane is excellent as the housewife, happily married to Richard Gere, who falls for a hunky younger Frenchman and has a very physical and intense affair (there are several raunchy sex scenes). So far fairly conventional. But when hubby finds out, the plot starts to twist and turn like a trapped animal, and the movie becomes almost a psychological thriller, before it settles into an uneasy resolution.

The intensity, the genuine humanity and the emotion shown in the acting and the dialogue are very convincing, and the characters and plot are absorbing and believable. If you like intelligent and intense drama, this movie is well worth a look.
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She Gets What She Wants
She Gets What She Wants (2002)
2/10
Pointless movie
15 June 2009
I was surprised to see the wide range of opinions in the other reviews of this movie, from "terrible" to "brilliant". I go with the former. From start to finish this movie is uninspired, unfunny and just plain silly.

The plot is a weak mixture of implausible and meaningless. Apart from once or twice, I laughed _at_ the movie, not _with_ the movie. The twist at the end doesn't explain much and just makes the movie that much more random.

This is a strong contender for the worst movie I've ever seen. Totally pointless.
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The Miracle of the Cards
The Miracle of the Cards (2001 TV Movie)
2/10
Turgid
10 May 2009
Warning: Spoilers
I have to admit I only watched about a third of this movie, but the bits I saw were consistently awful. It's (probably very loosely) based on the (apparently true) story of Craig Shergold, the English boy with a brain tumour who wants to beat the Guinness world record for the most get-well cards received - if the name is familiar, it's because the request for cards did the rounds on the Net for many years. (And is probably still going on somewhere now!)

This movie is made in the classic "disease of the week" made-for-TV style with predictable stereotyped characters and very poorly disguised attempts to tug at the viewer's heartstrings. The acting varies from reasonable to awful, and the British accents likewise. Catherine Oxenberg, who plays Craig's mother, was actually a real Brit but has obviously spent so much time in America (or Canada perhaps) that she has lost the accent and can't get it back. Not consistently anyway.

Unless you really like cheesy low-budget and transparently emotionally manipulative stories of survival and triumph against the odds, I strongly suggest you avoid this pointless movie. Sorry to be so negative but this movie really is pretty awful.
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Killer Klowns from Outer Space
Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)
3/10
Super-low-budget!
6 January 2006
This movie made me laugh, partly because of the persistent clown theme and partly because it is so cheap! The acting is bad, the lines are cheesy, the effects are budget and the plot is silly. The only thing that is really done properly is the clown faces, which have a lot of character and might even scare young children. A shooting star falls to earth and soon the crazy ugly clowns are shooting innocent residents with popcorn guns and wrapping them up in cotton candy. Enter the stereotypes: the girlfriend and boyfriend, the macho cop, the grumpy cop who thinks it's all a hoax, and lots of innocent bystanders. Fun if your brain is switched to standby :-)
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