Change Your Image
celticchops
Reviews
The Gingerdead Man (2005)
Gingerbread Booby Traps
Ah some more fine acting from the great Gary Busey (aka DC Cab, Rookie of the Year, etc.) but now starring in the role he was born to play, a killer reincarnated gingerbread man. It was good to see the "heroes" of this film stick it out and remain in the lightless, stock room of death, instead of simply walking out the door to warn the town of gingerdeadness. I could go on about the great love story brewing between a small town girl with a love for pastries, and a tattooed punk (whom never had any tattoos despite being called one) from the wrong side of town, but I'll digress. What I'd like to know is, where did the one and only booby trap (Ms. Prettyface of Waco getting a knife in the face) come from. Was this why we never saw it being constructed, because it would be too complex to understand? Also, why was the specter of death dropping off seasoning? Somebody fill me in on these great things so I can further appreciate this fine film. Oh, and when Gingerdead man is firing the gun at our heroes, notice the human hand holding the gun and firing the bullets. Truly amazing, and I can't wait for Rich Koz of "Svengoolie" to go to work on this one.
When does the action figure come out? Haven't been able to find it yet.
Gangland (2001)
Gangland a wonderful place
Wow, never has one movie blown me away than this one. Headlined by superstar action hero Sasha Mitchell "Gangland" will keep you at the edge of your seat and keep you guessing "who actually thought this could work and why is there only one reporter for the entire United States to bring you coverage?" The dialogue was amazing and the flashbacks chilling. This movie teaches valuable life lessons, such as when surrounding people who are not Ganglanders and you are armed with a gun, it is best to punch and kick the person or club the person with the gun, not shoot them if you want to kill them. Also, contrary to popular belief, checking a person for a pulse by putting your two fingers on their neck or wrist does not work. The effective way is to take somebody's shirt off and rub their breasts with you hands in a massage-like motion. Thank you Ice-T for showing us the error of our ways. If you love Sasha Mitchell, and who couldn't, then get ready for an ultimate slugfest where the only help to save the world is the man who coined the term "danaburger" into a national phenomenon. Excellent movie, especially for its porn-like dialogue that kept you entranced the entire way. This quote alone lets you know that only the best writers were working on this film:
Jerad: It must've taken a lot of balls to kill a little girl. Damian: It'll take a lot less balls to kill you!
Go out and see this movie now, and prepare for the plague of Ganglanding in 4 years.