Reviews

I've never considered any of David Zuckers films to be in the same league as say the classics like Citizen Kane and I'm sure that nobody else has either but for what they were they were decent the humor is expected to be corny, but this was horrible I watched this with a couple of friends and the feeling was mutual we all agreed that this was bad. His older films were funny because when he would make fun of someone he would usually get it right this movie was wrong all the way I can't go along with the Idea that Michael Moore hates America but rather is disappointed with its leaders the Idea that he would do anything like this is ridiculous at best. I'm also a big fan of "The Christmas Carol" films and have enjoyed almost all of the remakes that have been made and films that use the basic premise of the story (Scrooged) for example is a perfect example of doing it right. This film however is a perfect example of doing it wrong, I will say that the first ten or twenty minutes were funny but soon after the movie just died a slow, slow, slow (Did I mention SLOW) death. None the less I refused to turn it off till the bitter end, I will say we got more enjoyment out of mocking this movie than we did watching it. The one guy in the film I felt sorry for was Chris Farley's brother Kevin who's been on the outside of fame for years patiently waiting for his big chance to shine, imagine his joy at the Idea that he was finally getting his chance to do a film in the lead role only to end up in this mess. This was nothing more than a vehicle for the Republican party to spread their very special view of the world and it shows how out of touch with reality they really are. A good movie can make you think about your beliefs and a great movie can make you question your positions on important matters, but when a movie fails to make it's underlying point to the extent that this one has it can only do more harm than good for the people who made it. The past eight years and this past election have made it difficult to believe anything that the G.O.P. is behind this movie was amateurish and out and out failure.

I liked this film I saw it with English language not in French I'm not sure if it makes a difference but I liked it I enjoyed the characters and the effects were done well enough the story translated well and it was great to see the Louvre used in another film I've never been there but it looks nice although I would hope it isn't that easy to walk into in the middle of the night, I also enjoyed seeing Sophie Marceau she looks just as pretty as I remember her from Braveheart if not a little older but just as beautiful and I also enjoyed the rest of the cast as well. It was better than the usual crap we get here in the U.S. The title is a little tough to remember but the movie is worth watching in any case. I was not aware of any television series attached to this film so in that regard it still works as a stand alone film without the need to have seen the series.

For as long as I can remember I've been a fan of horror movies, as a child I couldn't get enough it didn't matter if it was a Boris Karloff movie or a Bela Lugosi movie or the earlier Lon Chaney Jr. flicks vampires, mummies, the living dead, werewolves, invisible men or the giant monsters that always seemed to attack Tokyo. And later the low budget remakes even made me smile as well as the alien attacks films from the 50's and on, I'm an equal opportunity movie fan I enjoy both foreign and domestic offerings subtitles don't scare me. But what gets under my skin is the recent offerings from Lions Gate this company floods the market with sub par films and this one is no exception here we are given what I consider is the worst Dracula movie I've ever seen I swore that I would watch the entire movie from beginning to end before deciding where it fit in the long history of Dracula films at least in my mind and while I fell asleep no less than three times during the film and chaptered back and fourth to find where I left off I finally finished watching it and here are my thoughts on this film. When I look at a film I like to consider the cinematography the sets the effects so this takes care of the overall appearance of the film as I see it next I look at the cast their acting if accents are used I like to examine them for authenticity (are they believable) and do the actors fit the roles quite often the casting leaves a lot to be desired as is the case here. As far as the sets most are impressive but I seriously doubt that Dracula would reside in a mausoleum while the marble facade's are impressive I none the less don't believe the whole mausoleum thing in the more historic tellings of the Dracula tale it is a foregone conclusion that most of Draculas castle is in ruins except for a small portion where most of the film takes place in this film Dracula must employ Merry Maids as the floors are spotless and shine like they are brand new, points deducted for shiny floors also in the classic adaptations Dracula has a serious reaction to sunlight, not here he seems capable of standing in front of brightly lit windows with no adverse reaction, once again points deducted for straying from the established path. Acting is for the most part over acted and the accents are in no way believable the story flows like mud and is about as coherent as a fever dream in fact I felt myself slipping into a coma more times than I can count. The movie looks to have been filmed with a video camera and while there are post production processes that can take a movie shot on video and give it the look of film it was not used here and probably would not have helped in the least. What made me laugh is the makeup effects that were used or lack there of the "Lee Press On Nails" worn by Dracula were there in one scene and gone in the next, then on one hand and not the other, and some were missing on one hand in a scene and back again in the next. Yet again more points deducted. In all I was not impressed by this movie and was bored out of my skull once again it gives me a solid basis in my belief that Lions Gate is killing the horror genre off one film at a time. After watching this film my over all opinion is that it is a waste of time and money for all concerned, don't buy it or rent it wait for it to be shown on the Sci-Fi Channel or on cable if there is nothing else on that day or if you have the need to punish yourself for something you did as you will never get the hour and a half back of your life. So in closing all I can say to Lions Gate and the people who made this movie is that "YOUR MOVIE SUCKS"

Ps. To Andrew Brynarski I know you and have talked with you on several occasions and while I like you and get a kick out of you at the conventions you've got to get it together and straighten out dude your on a downward spiral and I'd hate to see it end badly. I really wanted this to be a good movie for you and I know you tried but you've got to shake your demons. Pull it together you made a great Lobo and god only knows who the villain in the next Superman film may be but you totally owned Lobo in that short http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0353672/

I don't think I have any spoilers here the movie pretty much takes care of that all by itself. This one goes out to the producers and director of this (gag choke wretch) sequel I have been waiting for the sequel for what feels like an eternity and eagerly following any and all leaked info on this film following the ups and downs of The Two Coreys hoping that this would be a sequel worthy of the first, with all the "will it be in the theaters or will it be a direct to DVD release" hype ? And finally it comes out as a direct to DVD release and I grabbed it up hoping it would embody the style of the first and have the feel of the first wondering if it will have some good characters that you could get behind and root on and how great it would be to see the Frog bros. do battle again and get a couple of laughs out of it as well as a couple of scares. Well I was to say the least disappointed with the final product if this is what years of waiting gets me I just wish you had left it alone or maybe at the least you could have given us a half way descent sequel you couldn't even reunite the two Coreys I know Haim was a mess on the set but a competent director could have done something with this mess you totally wasted a prime opportunity in your use of Tom Savini as well, not to give anything away but you blew it. there was no mystery no suspense Corey Feldman looked great and would have easily been the main draw of this film but his part was reduced to an occasional character. Instead you focus our attention on two other characters in which it takes about a half an hour to find out are not boyfriend and girlfriend but brother and sister, oh yeah had they're boring. In the first film there was an element of mystery as to who was the head vampire not here though it looks as if you never even saw the first film or gave it any consideration in the least. Jamison Newlander is mentioned in the credits but is not in the film whats up with that?? This was a total waste of effort. What might have worked better would have been to use Savini as a red herring let the viewer think that he was the head vampire but in reality have the head vampire be say the real estate woman. How does a company like Warner Bros. let crap like this get made? You would think after Speed Racer they would adopt a tighter leash on the movies and tighten up on what they release Putting it bluntly "YOUR MOVIE SUCKS" If it were up to me I'd strap you in a chair with razor wire as your bonds and make you watch this piece of crap till you clawed your own eyes out or begged for death and then I'd make you watch it again. And for Warner Bros. you need to step up and do the right thing get a good director and give him the financial support to bring in a movie that you could be proud of instead of another DVD destined for the $5.00 bin at Walmart. I expect this movie as well as Speed Racer to be there within 3 months of its release.

As I stated in the subject line of this post "your movie sucks", while I have no Idea how anyone could sit through it once let alone a second time I myself turned it off after ten minutes or so wondering how anyone could spend not only money making this garbage but the time to actually film it and then edit it and further I can't believe the distributors actually paid you for this. The only positive thing I take away from this movie is that I didn't waste anymore time watching it so my ten minute investment was at least kept to a minimal, you might have a future in how to videos as long as their is a market for this type of movie. I can only hope you never make another movie or at the very least are forced to watch this film till you claw out your own eyes. This is the exact type of movie that gives horror movies a bad reputation I'm just surprised that Lions Gate didn't snatch this turd up and add it to it's collective pile of crappy films. In the future where ever you may land if I ever have the pleasure of meeting you just remember this "Yes I want fries with that order" And "Don't spit on the bun"