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Reviews
The Devil's Rejects (2005)
Not too bad....
Upon the completion of the Devil's Rejects, I immediately thought of Wes Craven's, 'Last House on the Left'. The similarities between the two films, are differently there. Both have a pack of killers, abducting some hapless victims & torture, rape & then murder them. Only The Devil's Rejects was a lot more enjoyable. The movie features some very good acting from the cast, especially by the main characters.
The dialog wasn't anything special. At times, I questioned what Rob Zombie was thinking about, such as a lot of Baby Firefly's dialog. The movie had a few good jokes in it as well, that were pretty witty. The violence is top notch & yes it has tons of nudity. Because for one reason or another... it works for this movie.
The Da Vinci Code (2006)
Constroversory aside... it's a very entertaining movie
I will get this out of the way first. I read the book "The Da Vinci Code" when it was first released some years ago & I thought it was very entertaining. First let me say that I'm not religious & I saw this movie with four devout Christians & one other non-religious person. Out of all of them, I was the only one that had read the book. Upon the movie's completion, we all talked about the movie and everyone liked it, the Christians didn't believe it & that's it. There was no yelling at each other... no screaming... no claim's of 'heresey, etc. We all were able to discuss the movie as a form of ENTERTAINMENT not religious fact. Upon leaving the theater, we were approached by a Christian group asking us, if we had seen the Da Vinci Code, we answered yes & immediately they gave us a pamphlet written by a Pastor about the Da Vinci Code. This movie, will not cause Christian's to loose their faith. I encourage anyone who see's the movie, reads the book or even hears anything about the storyline to do your on research. There is a plethora of books on the subject coming out every few weeks. Now onto my review...
I thought Ron Howard did a fantastic job with directing, some of the cinematography is just beautiful, particularly the scenes inside the Louvre. He kept the movie flowing at a good pace, since if he followed the book, page for page, we would have had to watch a mini-series. Tom Hank's was convincing as 'Robert Langdon', a cryptologist from Harvard who is wanted for murder he didn't commit. Audrey Tautou was also fantastic as Sophie Neveu, a French CSI'Esq member. But the real scene stealer was without a doubt Sir Ian McKellen as Sir Leigh Teabing, an eccentric billionaire Grail fanatic. He played the part perfectly, adding a charm to the film, it would have lacked without him. Paul Bettany & Jean Reno were also convincing in their roles.
Overall, I gave the movie a 7/10, there are a few things they have added, such as dialog (Langdon saying, "I need a library. Fast!) was a little 'overdone.' See the movie, ignore the protester's & just got to be entertained not to be taught a theology lesson.
Havoc (2005)
This movie had potential....
I really wanted to like this movie. This movie remind's me of "Malibu's Most Wanted", why? Because it's a bunch of white guys, overacting. But in MMW, Jamie Kennedy was trying to be funny.... in Havoc it's just embarrassing.
Anne Hathaway is fantastic in her part. She has just the right amount of sex appeal, that the part calls for. Anne Hathaway plays an 'over-sexed bad girl. She becomes bored with her rich, white suburban life & looks for thrills in the ghetto. The importance of Anne Hathaway character's traits in the movie, is the fact that her aggressiveness towards danger & the appeal she finds in the ghetto life, get her friend(s) in trouble. Anne, adds depth to her character but in the end, no matter what she does, the movie falls flat.
At the end, the story becomes insulting to the audience's attention. Somehow, the 'gangsta' white boys know exactly where to find the Hispanic leader's home, etc. I don't recommend this movie, it's just a waste of time.
Silent Hill (2006)
If you've haven't played the games... you may have a hard time understanding this movie
If you've never played the 'Silent Hill' video games series, you will probably be lost during this movie. The town of Silent Hill has three 'realities'; 1)Silent Hill, ghost-town 2)Foggy Silent Hill where they see demons, falling ash 3)Third is personal hell/nightmarish Silent Hill.
The movie, Silent Hill starts off with the little girl missing from her home & the parents go looking for her, once they find her, she is about to fall off a large embankment. Her mother saves her and the girl begins screaming the name, "Silent Hill." Soon the mother takes her to Silent Hill & the adventure begins. The movie has storyline elements from the first 4 Silent Hill games. -Has the storyline of SH1, -Red Pyramid from SH2, -Female protagonist from SH3 -the blood patterns, etc from SH4.
The characters in Silent Hill go back what Silent Hill really looks like to an alternate "nightmarish" world. Rose begins looking for her daughter, Sharon, with the help of a biker cop named Cybil. The two go throughout Silent Hill looking for Sharon while transcending back & fourth into "Foggy Silent Hill" & "Nightmare Silent Hill". Meanwhile her Rose's husband begins searching for his wife but he's in "real Silent Hill", so they can't see each other.
The reason I gave this 4/10, is because I felt the movie was a real let-down. The movie falls into my theory on most horror movies, 'it's good up until the half way point and than they don't know how to end it.'Meaning, they pull you into the movie but the rest is a total let down. The ending was just absurd & pointless in my opinion. Personally I felt this movie was a big disappointment. But the cinematography was beautiful and the town looked amazing. Also the acting was pretty good by everyone in the movie.
But again, A lot of people were laughing during the movie at points & some even walked out. Just don't expect too much. A lot of people at the end of the movie, didn't get it and were asking each other what was going on. I only knew because I played the games.
Scary Movie 4 (2006)
Don't expect much
If you enjoyed part 3, most likely enjoy this one. If you enjoyed the first two, you'll most likely hate this film.
Watch the movie but don't expect much. The movie spoofs on the Village, Saw, Saw 2, War of the Worlds, The Grudge, etc.
- The film has a very unfunny opening involving Dr. Phil & Shaq. You've seen this on the previews & everyone has already seen it. In fact most of the jokes, you've already seen because of the previews.
- Most of the jokes in the film are recycled from past movies & television shows.
- The funniest part in the movie, is every scene with Leslie Nelson. He was very funny in the movie & probably the whole reason for seeing it.
Derailed (2005)
So terrible.... so pointless.... so boring.....
This movie was hands down on the worst movies, I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot. This movie's plot was so pointless and contrived. Here it is in a nutshell, Clive Owen Jennifer Aniston are two strangers who meet on a train and they soon develop feelings for each other, but the problem is they are both married. As they go into a hotel room, a stranger breaks in, beats up Clive Owen and rapes Jennifer Aniston. Well after that, Jennifer Aniston doesn't want to call the police because if they did, her husband who divorce her and take her child. Soon, the stranger starts demanding money from Clive Owen or he'll tell his wife what has happened or hurt Jennifer Aniston. The problem is you never feel bad for Clive Owen in this movie, because he's cheating on his wife with Jennifer Aniston. Clive Owen and his wife also have a very sick child. So when the man embezzling money from Owen, Owen has to take the money from his bank account, which they were saving for their child's medical bills. Clive Owen has numerous chances to get the police involved but never does. Why not? Just another plot hole in this movie. This movie insults your intelligence. Don't waste your time.
H (2002)
I wanted to like this movie..... but people actually fall asleep watching this movie
When I found this at the video store I thought this looked & sounded amazing. Oh what a disappointment. The film starts off, with a young girl's body being found in a garbage heap along with her newborn baby. From there, you are lead on a journey that looks promising but fails miserably. The Hannibal-Esq character is unconvincing & has no emotion. He spouts Nietzche/ German-Esq philosophy, meaning he speaks in hidden meanings. The film take forever to get "started" and by the time the all too expected plot twist happen, you don't care about any of the characters & just want the movie to end.
*SPOILER You find in the end, that the Hannibal-Esq character has used hypnosis to force people to copycat his killings. Even thought, it makes no sense. Yeah, don't bother.
Haute tension (2003)
It had so much promise... but it turned into a paint by numbers slasher flick
*NON SPOILER*
The movie starts of with two friends, Alex & Maria on the way to Alex's parents house for a getaway. Well it all turns bad for them, when a killer rings the doorbell & begins to slaughter the family, one by one. The killer kidnaps Alex & Maria follows the killer, to stop him from killing Alex.
*SPOILER ALERT* SPOILER ALERT* Spoiler ALERT* Spoiler ALERT*
OK, here's the "twist" ending, the killer is Maria the whole time. She has a split personality ala Fight Club, Hide & Seek, etc. And Maria kills everyone not the unknown male killer. This twist makes the movie entirely illogical. First, the ringing of the doorbell by the "killer", which is Maria, means that Maria would have to go outside (somehow unlocking the gated door), ring the doorbell, kill the father & dog (using her bare hands) and then killing the father my ramming his head with a desk & ripping it completely off. (yes you read that right). Then she murders the mother using a razor, she got from somewhere. The mother stand there, while the "killer" approaches her, as if she mesmerized by the "killer". So then the "killer" aka Maria, kills the young child with a gun & ties up Alex & takes her away in a truck, that has magically gotten there. So your left to decide if the truck is even real or not. They then come up into a gas station, where the ""killer" refuels the truck while Maria tries to run into the station for help. Here is another example were the film just totally falls flat. Suddenly the "killer" knows the person at the Gas Station, while Maria runs around the station, trying to hide. The "killer" end up killing the station attendant for no reason. The "killer" then leaves and Maria chases him in the car that belongs to the station attendant. Here, Maria is pushed off the road by the "killer" and somehow suffers injuries (even though it may or may not have happened). Maria then manages to kill the "killer" and saves Alex, who then tells Maria, she is a killer. Maria than chases Alex through the woods, Alex gets the upper hand & the movie ends with Maria in a mental hospital. Plots holes galore. Buy if you see it for a couple of bucks.
The Last House on the Left (1972)
pointless....boring....no plot...
I first heard of this movie a long time ago & was eager to see it. Oh what a disappointment. First off, the dialog is horrible. The acting is terrible. The plot... well there is no plot... you just follow two girls on their way to a concert, when they ask a guy on the corner, if he knows were they can buy drugs. He lore's them into a building, where the rest of the gang is hiding & they beat & rape the girls. The next day, they take them to a secluded lake & repeat the act. As one girl tries to run, she is chased, caught then killed. Then they kill the other girl. The killer than take refuge in one of the girls parents, unknowingly. Once the parents find out, they killed their daughter they decided to get revenge. The mother actually hurts one of the killers by giving him oral sex then biting his member off. Yea, you read that right. This film is so juvenile & pointless. I was angry after watching this film, because crap like this gets made. Avoid at all costs!
Cry Wolf (2005)
beyond awful... I believe a person off the street could make a better film
Wow, this was a terrible film. First off anyone with half a brain can predict who the killer is within the first 5 minutes. The movie plays like a bad episode of Scooby Doo mysteries, because besides the cast there's only one or two other characters in the movie. The movie has terrible acting & just makes you laugh, rather than "jump" from fright. First off, the movie begins with a classic "slasher" movie scene, young blonde being chased through the woods, trips, breathing heavily, making odd noises while trying to hide, etc. The killer finds her by calling her cell phone, then shooting her in the head. From there, we are taken to a boarding school, where we supposed to be "sucked into" a prep school world, filled with dull, lifeless characters. The story goes nowhere, as it drags along at a snails pace. You never see the murders either. Why? Because you find out, there are no real murders it's all a game, set up to scare the main protagonist. In the final part of the movie, Bon Jovi, who plays a teacher, is killed for real by Owen. But at the end Owen realizes it has all been a set up by the girl dodger. Wow, what a twist. Watch this one night, while your drunk and/or with friends & just laugh at this pathetic movie. I'm willing to bet, I could pick a person off the street who could make a better movie.
The Matador (2005)
Well done movie, Pierce is hilarious was phenomenal one liners
I will admit, I thought this movie wasn't going to be any good but I soon changed my mind. The movie was keep you guessing as which direction it's going. Pierce Broson is amazing in his role as a hit man, who suddenly becomes burned out & asks a man he met at a Mexican bar for help. Greg Kinnear is an awesome straight man, as his role as a mild mannered man from Denver, who starts a innocent conversation with Pierce at a Mexican bar. The movie will have you laughing as Pierce delivers hilarious one liners (mostly about sex).
The imaginary in this movie is very well done, especially at the bullfight scene & when Pierce sees himself when trying to finish his last jobs.
Hostel (2005)
Has such good potential but fails horribly
I was hyped for this movie, after all, Tarantino was hyping it. But unfortunately the movie was horrible. This movie started off fairly well. The story starts with two American & one male from Iceland are backpacking across Europe. They meet up with a shady guy, who tells them to travel to Eastern Europe for amazing women. Well soon the entire movie has clips that will remind people of another movie, "Euro-Trip." The movie falls apart as soon as the third of our main characters gets captured. The storyline goes out the window, as it just becomes insulting to the viewer. Events happen for no reason & just adds to the confusion of the movie. Throughout the movie, you'll be asking, "What is that tattoo about? Who is that guy? Who are these people?" Well, all these questions & more never get answered. The final insult comes at the end, when after our last main character "saves" a Japanese tourist while she is being tortured, she jumps in front of a train after seeing the "torture" done to her face. And about the torture, there is actually more nudity than torture in this movie. Save your money!