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Jerry_Sprinkle
Reviews
Ghostbusters (2016)
Doesn't justify its own existence
Awful but not necessarily for the reason you would expect.
Despite some early reviews I've read or watched I didn't find the movie to be anti-male. There was nothing offensively anti-man in it that wasn't something I've already seen before and laughed off a million times. Unfortunately that's part of the problem this movie has with humor creativity. There was nothing there to laugh about.
Thankfully Patty Tolan isn't a walking/talking stereotype. They made her a New York City historian instead of a caricature with "street smarts". Sadly, they didn't do her any other favors. Nor were the other characters flushed out at all.
Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy play a pair of old friends who re-unite but I never get much of a sense they were anything but aware they were in a movie. They try to riff and play off each other but it kind of falls flat.
Kate McKinnon's character stands out the most in this movie. The character just seemed too weird in an unrealistic way. She seemed to try chewing up scenery any time she was on a call sheet, even if she didn't have much to say. She didn't feel like she fit into what was happening.
One actress that stood out to me was Cecily Strong. Cecily Strong stood out to me the same way Kristen Wiig first stood out to me in Knocked Up. She only has a very small role in the movie but she's able to be convincing and funny without making it seem like she's in on the joke.
The performances weren't bad per se, they were just very underwhelming all-around. As a result, the film itself does not succeed.
I did like how the ghosts look in the movie. I also like the choice the filmmakers make at the end regarding the classic logo. However I have to be harsh on this movie because it's a reboot that ultimately did not need to be made.
Not only did they attempt to reboot a comedy (tell the same joke twice in a row and see how well it works the second time - comedy is a very very delicate thing and you need to respect the audience) but they went for a movie that originally caught lightning in a bottle. I don't even think Ghostbusters II did enough to justify existing. Maybe the lessons we didn't learn back when the sequel was made are the same lessons we won't learn from the reboot.
Robot Holocaust (1987)
This movie wasn't good
In fact it was awful. The main chick in it who gets topless was obviously sleeping with the director at the time. It was shot at some warehouse most likely owned by family or friends. Also they chose not to bother coming up with a story. Sure these are ways to cut cost, but are they smart ways of keeping costs down? No they aren't. At the very least they could have found a middle school student in a "creative writing" course. Those kids may have at least had a lesson about story structure. At the very least, they could have read up on 3 act structure but acting obviously wasn't a priority either. Watching these jerks run around in funny clothing that was stupid by 1980's standards was an embarrassment. The fact that none of these actors committed suicide in humiliation is probably a testament to the limited distribution this film received. Had the actors actually seen the final result of their hard work, there would have been a line of people waiting to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge.
I'd give this movie 10/10 stars but it only deserves 1 for being released at all. This movie should be shown to film students everywhere. It's better than 90% of student films I've seen and wow is this movie a piece of shiiiit.
The Mentalist: Seeing Red (2008)
This is a bad episode
I was happy to see a Psychic detective show debut where they explicitly state that psychics are frauds each episode. This episode features a "real" psychic who not only upstages the main character, makes him cry by "channeling" the spirit of his murdered wife with a message about their murdered daughter. I was waiting for an episode like this where skeptics have their face shoved in the pile of crap that is the status quo. It wasn't enough to have a central character constantly challenge rational and critical thought at every turn, but to make our hero lose the battle of wits? I didn't want to see her humiliated or exposed as a fraud, but at least end their angle with a snappy one-liner. At least "Psych" doesn't pander to the true-believer majority.
The Mentalist (2008)
A Psych fan's evaluation of "The Mentalist"
I love Psych. I think James Roday and Dule Hill are a great buddy combo and characters like Lassiter and the adorable Maggie Lawson really help make the show what it is. With that said, I understand how this entertainment industry works. If a comedy or drama has a great enough idea, the other genre will do the same. Sopranos could have been easily dismissed by "Analyze THIS" fans (Mob boss see's a shrink).
The Mentalist is obviously using the idea originated(chronologically) by Psych. A "psychic" helps out law enforcement to solve crimes. Let's talk about the potential of the Mentalist and all the bases they covered so far.
We learn in the pilot that the mentalist's child and wife were murdered by a serial killer they never caught. So far, this only makes him more dedicated to catch killers and be honest about his talents. It could get bad.
We also learn he doesn't believe in an after life, and by extension can assume he's a bit skeptical about spirituality and religion. This might be a much bigger problem if they didn't throw in the token Christian/believer. A female rookie(or just young agent) challenges the Mentalist's skeptical views of the afterlife and cements her place as the religious type there to always challenge skepticism about spirituality and psychics.
I admit I'm intrigued by the serial killer side story. I'll probably keep watching this show until the point where we could learn that the Mentalist is only a skeptic because his family was brutally murdered, a cliché in entertainment as old as letter-writing campaigns by believers. In reality, it is usually those people who find religion... not like "I Am Legend" where he's mad at God. Also, the Mentalist character isn't a complete jerk like House M.D.
The pilot episode of this show gets a solid 7. This show has the potential to be a great drama.
Psych.(just kidding)
xXx (2002)
Most people talk a lot. Few are up for the moment. Welcome to Anarchy 99.
This is the perfect movie. Sony has created the Anti-Bond. Every move Xander Cage makes is the exact opposite of what James Bond would do but with the same results. Everything this movie attempts is pathetic. The extreme sports, not "selling out" (by making a video game??), defiant hubris in the face of authority, every last thing. This is the perfect James Bond parody. Everything about the movie is James Bond except for the lead character. This review really isn't serving the movie justice at all. If I could, I'd go through the movie scene by scene. OK You talked me into it.
Intro- Spy in tux using a gadget tries to escape from bad guys by running into a Rammstein concert(with pyrotechnics and body surfing). Big mistake James, you're in a tux. You stand out! Oh well, they kill the James Bond character and we're immediately introduced to......
XANDER MOTHER F____NG CAGE. SOME SENATOR WANTS TO CENSOR VIDEO GAMES AND MUSIC??? XANDER'S GONNA STEAL HIS CAR FROM THE VALEY AND DRIVE IT OFF A BRIDGE. I know, you're bored. How about this- He has a parachute and jumps out before the car crashes. Doesn't appeal to you enough? He does it live on the "World Wide Web" via a "Web cam".
Also he doesn't drink anything except juices or vegan meals, but he thinks tattoo's and doing extreme stuff is pretty awesome. He is a non-smoker. Get with the times Bond James Bond! Would James ever punch Q in the face? I didn't think so.
WATCH THIS MOVIE. It's #1 on my list
my list 1.XXX 2.Exit Wounds 3.Rambo(2008) 4.The Marine 5.Point Break
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person (2007)
One of the greatest episodes of this show
Seeing Danny Devito trying not to break while Charlie sings Nightman is worth the price of admission, whether that admission price be DVD, Cable, electric bill, internet bill, etc. This episode is one of the quintessential episodes of Always Sunny. The storyline with Kevin the rapper isn't the best Always Sunny side-story, but an A- isn't a bad thing. This is a show so very well written, executed, and re-watchable!
The replay value of these episodes is phenomenal.
In this particular episode, every actor/actress brings their A game.
"It's retarded 3, normal 1"
"Do you even own a tooth brush?" elicits the greatest reaction from Charlie, quite possibly the best Charlie reaction.
Rambo (2008)
When you're pushed... killin's as easy as breathin'.
This doesn't "necessarily" contain spoilers per-say. But I do suggest that only people who have seen Rambo read this. Words can't express how satisfied I am with this movie. First I'd like to start off saying that this movie was so good, I plan on seeing it again tomorrow night. I'm afraid the overload of ass-kicking might have been too much to fully appreciate the first time around so perhaps revisiting this film will bring out some of the nuances that really make Rambo great. For instance, the violence. Burma must totally be the absolute worst place in the history of the planet. My absolute favorite part was the violence against children in this movie. Never before have I ever, EVER seen someone take an infant and throw it into a barbecue pit then having a guy come in with a flame thrower to top it off... wow. I loved loved LOVED the land mines! That game they played was fantastic! An excellent touch was Rambo ripping a guys throat out with his bare hand. I would have been satisfied by the time Rambo got to the 50 caliber anti-aircraft gun, but this movie was relentless. Most useless award goes to the Burmese rebel alliance in the final battle sequence. By the time they arrive, Rambo is already in 50th f'in gear and half the population of Burma is in a bloody pile of south east Asian carnage the likes of which the world has not seen since Pol Pot. The biggest mistake the Burmese army made, besides messing with Rambo, was when they didn't take the opportunity to retreat when Rambo ran out of ammo. This movie makes it VERY clear that Rambo is living his life to kill. Sure, in the final scene he returns home to some ranch in the US, but that was just one of his dreams. You know Rambo got up the next day and mailed more pamphlets about Burma to churches and mission centers in the States then waited... If there isn't another Rambo movie I'm going to seriously question the artistic integrity of Sylvester Stallone.
Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
The "hacker" stuff was a little much... BUT......
I thoroughly enjoyed this movie by the time the credits started rolling! I was like the other skeptics. "PG-13??? YIPPIE KAY AYE MOTHER-FATHER?" If you go into this movie knowing it's not going to be Nakatomi Tower, or With a Vengeance, you can save yourself a lot of whining. Die Hard 2, to the fans, was not a very good movie. THIS ONE makes up for it! There's wasn't much potty language, but realistically, I don't think anybody had any time to drop any F-bombs on account of them having to constantly dodge the real ones. At first the dynamic between McClane and the Mac Geek seems a little "ah here we go again, clash of the generations", and it doesn't seem like a real Die Hard movie until about 30 minutes into it, but once we start recognizing Shoe-less John, a lot of that goes away! The hacker stuff seems to get sort of hokey, at times, but a lot of Die Hard fans won't have trouble letting that slide since John couldn't be bothered with it; he's too busy kickin' ass and takin' names! The action scenes keep you on the edge of your seat at all times. This is definitely the next level of action flicks (best since Casino Royale). Some of the blows McClane delivers are so intense, even Chester A. Arthur felt them.
There's no rehashing of old characters to forcefully remind you it's a Die Hard flick. That means no Sgt. Al Powell, no Zeus, no Holly Gennero side story, no Inspector Cobb, hell, not even a Gruber family member! Also, there's no jurisdictional cliché argument he had with the LA cop or Airport Cop from the sequel we all like to pretend never happened.
Trust me, by the time he says "Yippie Kay Aye..." your jaw will drop! A MUST SEE for Die Hard fans!
Sicko (2007)
Shame on him for Fahrenheit 9/11.
As Americans, we are a very humanitarian-friendly people. Volunteering is the backbone to our culture. Donating blood, helping victims of disaster, mission trips to 3rd world nations, cutting checks to Red Cross, you name it! Americans are always there to help. We're awesome. So when the issue of paying taxes that go to the healthcare and well being of our fellow man comes up, why the struggle? It's the same thing. Of course, I have issues with the government being in charge of anything. Somehow I can suspend that principle. Afterall, I have my own health care nightmares.
Shame on him for Fahrenheit 9/11. If he was planning on producing his best work after spending years of his life polarizing himself then shame on him.
Sicko is hands down his finest achievement. This isn't a democrat or republican issue. It almost seems like he goes out of his way to not spend time on republicans! He shows the many politicians lining their pockets with health care money, but he focuses on Hillary Clinton as the biggest turn coat in history on this issue.
Again, after watching Sicko (which I intend to purchase a ticket for (as well as the DVD) to compensate for seeing it at my friend's house who illegally obtained a copy) I can say this is easily his best work.
Our own health and well being is not a political issue. I don't even want to know what pundits have to say about it because I already know how they're going to react.
Grindhouse (2007)
I don't like Sin City and I thought From Dusk Till Dawn sucked
Grindhouse was EXCELLENT! I like Desperado, El Mariachi was decent enough I guess, and One Upon a Time in Mexico was cool. I didn't like Sin City, but Planet Terror more than makes up for Sin City and Spy Kids. Death Proof was good too, not amazing. I love Quentin Terrintino movies, I even think Jackie Browne kicked ass. What is great about Grindhouse is I have to admit Robert Rodriguez totally out did Quentin Terintino. All that aside, both features were great. The coming attractions were genius. Machete was freaking classic. I can't say enough good things about this double feature. You'll be satisfied way before Death Proof comes on, trust me. TRUST ME.
The Office (2005)
America Respectfully Honors the UK
"I liked the original better", a saying which holds true to 65% of entertainment. Fans of the UK Office may have rolled their eyes and huffed, "Figures..." when they learned of the US making it's own office, but they hadn't even given the show a chance yet. Watching the first season of the US office may be a little hard due to the over abundance of bits reused from the UK series, obviously because they wanted to keep whatever worked from the original to hook in a new, American audience. Also, the US Office has completed around 40 episodes of its own, compared to the 14 Episodes of the UK Office so they're not reusing too many bits anymore. NBC gives writing duties to those closest to the office, the stars/ employees of Dunder Mifflin. If you watch the pilot episode of the US office and compare it to the most recent, you'll notice the characters have all developed their own style apart from their UK counterparts. Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant are brilliant for creating a formula that can survive successfully without them attending to it.
---Updated 2008---
What are they doing to this show? The fourth season is pretty lame so far. I give the fourth season about a 7.5
---Updated 2011---
Pull the plug!
Snakehead Terror (2004)
kicks ass
I only started watching from when two kids go swimming and get eaten up, not that it mattered because you catch on quickly and it pulls you in. It even had a scene where the town sheriff tells the mayor, "we need to shut down the lake! something out there is killing people!" and of course the mayor replies with "Are you kidding?? No way I'm shutting it down! It's summer!" It also has a girl accidentally kill a man by shooting a tank of gasoline on his boat. They just shrug it off. It has all the elements of a cheesy jaws rip off. I also recommend "Shark Attack 3: Megaladon". That movie will crack you up. Much like this movie, Shark Attack 3 is one of those movies Blockbuster tries blending in with the other new releases. Similar "Snakes" "Ants" "Lep In Da Hood" and films of the like, these two movies are nothing but hilarious. Shark Attack 3 is the better because it's more rated R and contains one of the funniest lines in movie history. Definitely check that one out.
The Da Vinci Code (2006)
Few changes from the novel!
The book was written like a movie. Short chapters, quick action, suspense, etc. So the movie adapted well. In the movie Langdon is summoned differently, they change some of the character's relations slightly, but nothing you'd notice to be important. The flash back footage of Paris, Israel, London was great. They really took advantage of illustrating history visually. Audrey Tautou who plays Sophie Neveu is a 10. Movie was cool! It wasn't insulting to catholocism at all. The "teacher" who is the villain, is the one making the church and Opus Die look bad. Everybody else is cool about religion. People need to get a hobby. Stop crying every time a movie or show or book comes out that people say mocks your religion. People like that never even see the movies or read the books anyway. They're just bored with life.