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CrimeFighterFrog
My favorite movies:
— Stalker (1979)
— Goodfellas (1990)
— La Haine (1995)
— Eraserhead (1977)
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Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)
Fascinating but hard to review
The Snyder Cut is undoubtedly a massive, massive improvement over the botched con-job that was the 2017 Justice League. It perfectly embodies the dark, gritty tone Zack was going for with Man of Steel and Batman v Superman and is a glimpse into what the DCEU could have been if it had had any kind of consistency or long-term plan.
The characters are much less annoying and more consistent, especially the Flash and Cyborg. Even the villain, Steppenwolf - despite his genuinely repulsive and over-designed armor - is much more menacing in this version. The movie even ties back into BvS' dream sequence and sows the seeds for Flash's time travel powers, which is the kind of interconnectivity a shared universe like this should have.
However, most, if not all, of this movie's shining moments only shine so bright because they stand in direct comparison with the theatrical cut. I doubt there are many people out there who went into this movie with no prior knowledge of its history. I made the mistake of watching through the entire DCEU in release order and robbed myself of that experience.
Taking a step back and looking at the movie entirely on its own, it's fine at best. It's four hours long and doesn't justify its runtime at all. The first two hours are spent establishing the various members of the Justice League, which should have happened in their respective standalone movies that never got made. The team doesn't properly come together until two-and-a-half hours into the film - past the run-time of Infinity War, a movie way more epic, with a grander scale, higher stakes and five times the characters to juggle. It is impossible not to compare these movies with the MCU when with each new entry, it becomes more and more clear that they are desperately trying to catch up to Marvel, but without taking the time to establish anything.
I also find it incredibly pretentious of Zack Snyder to release this in a 4:3 aspect ratio with a separate black-and-white cut as if it were some arthouse project - you're not making The Lighthouse; this is a superhero movie with Batman and Superman fighting aliens. It's what widescreen was made for.
Fallout (2024)
It's fine
The real star of the show is the production design, which is spot on perfect and looks just like the game - it is what's holding the whole thing together. Walton Goggins is another stand out as the Ghoul; he is the real protagonist if you ask me. The other 2 main characters aren't really that engaging and feel more tacked on to get the plot moving, especially Maximus, who only seems to be there to justify having the Brotherhood in there at all.
They try to cram so many things into these 8 episodes that it's hard to get attached to anything other than the guy who is present in nearly all of it. The writing is okay at best and veers into Marvel-esque dialogue at worst. The direction is mostly quite flat and boring, but the story picks up towards the end with a few reveals that will have an interesting effect on the next game should they remember it 15 years down the road.
All in all, it's not bad but there's a lot of wasted potential. I'm still interested to see where they take it with the second season, which is bound to be greenlit.
Skinamarink (2022)
Really gets under the skin
This movie definitely isn't for everyone. It's very avant-garde in its minimalist approach to its presentation. When it comes down to it, there's nothing really happening; it's all implied, which makes it hard to approach.
The first 15 minutes or so, I found it kinda boring but as soon as things started happening, I was crapping my pants and chewing my nails. This is one of the most horrifying films I have ever seen. It's very out there and has a kind of lynchian feel to it--it reminded me a lot of the scariest moments in Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me and Inland Empire.
What drags it down, though, is the pacing. Some shots linger for a bit too long, a few scenes towards the end could be cut out entirely--shave 10, maybe 20 minutes off the runtime and this would be absolutely amazing.
Ultimately, the film achieves what it sets out to do incredibly well and delivers a one-of-a-kind experience, but the few missteps it takes hold it back from greatness.
Dune (1984)
An entertaining failure
I love David Lynch; he's my favorite director, so, naturally, I put off watching Dune for a while, but, in the wake of Denis Villenueve's Part 2, curiosity got the better of me.
Lynch famously disowned this movie because he didn't have final cut, or as he put it: "he sold out." As much as I want to believe it's all the studio's fault, it probably would have turned out quite poor either way.
It's not total crap; there is a lot to appreciate about it--the music is great, the design of the sets and creatures is pretty impressive for the most part, and the shields are, well, the most hilarious thing ever.
Grand sci-fi epics like Dune are just not what Lynch is good at, and it really shows in the later half of this movie. The action scenes are clunky and poorly choreographed. Just the way they handle their weapons and shoot at each other is hilariously bad.
But still, I'd recommend this movie to any Lynch or Dune fan. It is very entertaining and charming.
Na srebrnym globie (1988)
Utterly fascinating
I have not felt this way about a movie since watching Tarkovsky's Stalker for the first time. In a way, this movie is a lot like Stalker with its minimalist approach to this grand sci-fi setting and troubled production.
When I first read that 20% of the movie is lost and replaced with narration, I assumed it to be a big chunk somewhere in the middle or maybe the end, but it's much more sporadic. This makes for a quite jarring and almost incoherent experience at first but don't let that turn you off.
The costumes and sets are gorgeous, the heavy use of the blue filter in the barren wasteland makes for a convincing alien landscape, and the long takes with handheld cameras and wide-angle lenses combined with diegetic cinematography make for a unique experience I have yet to see in any other film of the time.
I can't help but wonder how different cinema might have looked if On the Silver Globe was completed in 1978, give or take a year. Maybe a lot? Maybe not so much. Who knows. We can only thank Andrzej Zulawski and the people on the production team who saved what had been shot from the Polish censors.
It might be incomplete and lack a proper conclusion to the story, but when the credits rolled it left me with a poignant and powerful feeling that I have not felt since watching The Holy Mountain for the first time.
Wonder Woman (2017)
Derivative and inept
I can understand this movie having a lot of cultural importance with it being the first female-fronted big-budget superhero blockbuster since they took off; I'm glad that exists and that people really connected with that-I just wish it had been a good movie.
This is just Man of Steel all over again, but somehow with a lead that is even worse, and so much later that the clichés are even more insufferable. It really shows how late to the party DC was with this whole thing.
Wonder Woman is just a worse version of Captain America combined with the worst parts of Thor. The first Captain America movie really isn't all that good but every minute of this movie reminded me how much better it was done over half a decade earlier.
Diana has no arc in the movie-she is a bumbling buffoon who has no idea how the world works and doesn't listen to anyone but she is also an invincible god so everything works out fine for her, like in the infamous runway modelling scene, which is beyond laughable.
Add on top bad acting and editing, narration that is only present at the beginning and end of the movie, an over reliance on slow-mo, and WW1 sets that looked better and more believable in 1957 on a fraction of the budget.
Eternals (2021)
By far the worst one in the entire MCU
And here I thought it couldn't get worse than Thor: The Dark World.
This movie reminds me most of Man of Steel, and for all the wrong reasons-the color palette is muted and ugly, most of the movie is about these godlike, immortal beings fighting other godlike, immortal beings or CGI creatures.
It tries to establish so many characters at once but none of them are really unique-one is a child, one shoots lasers out of his eyes, one is a black gay man-they are all horribly generic. I watched this movie 2 weeks ago and I couldn't tell you every one of them if you held a gun to my head.
It tries to be grand and epic, almost like Dragon Ball, but it stretches itself so thin. The plot flashes back thousands and thousands of years, from the dawn of Man to the ancient Aztecs, to the point where it feels entirely detached from anything going on in the MCU, which is really the only reason you would want to watch this.
The finale is made out to be a gigantic, world-ending event but I will be shocked if anything about this movie ever comes up again.
If you want to watch a two-and-a-half hour superhero movie on an epic scale, you're better off re-watching Infinity War.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
It really is as bad as they say
I watched the 3 hour extended cut, which I'm told is the superior version, but it has left me wondering what was even added that improved anything.
The pacing is all over the place-some scenes are too short, lead nowhere, and are cobbled together without any real cohesion, like the one in the very beginning that introduces the kryptonite-and the third act honestly feels like it's over an hour long.
Ben Affleck is a good Bruce Wayne but he sucks as Batman. Zack Snyder essentially assassinated the character for reasons that have been stated countless times since this movie came out-showing him in broad daylight didn't work in The Dark Knight rises and doubling down on it here just makes it laughable.
They waste a good 10 minutes of screen time on scenes that are only there to establish and set up the Justice League, which could have been condensed into a small post-credit stinger.
Wonder Woman doesn't need to be in the movie at all and her appearance is made out to be a huge reveal but she was shown in the trailer, along with Doomsday, who also doesn't need to be there.
The biggest sin of all, however, is the titular Batman v Superman fight, which is also horribly paced, clunky, and lasts maybe 7 minutes before it devolves into the heroes-fighting-a-big-CGI-monster cliché that was already played out years ago when this came out.
The same year, Captain America: Civil War did what this movie tried to do but much better and on a much larger scale and in less screen time.
Man of Steel (2013)
A horrible start to a horrible cinematic universe
I really wanted to give this one a chance, but this is one of the ugliest, most boring superhero movies ever. Everything from the art design, to the color palette is just disgusting to look at.
The first 20 minutes or so, on Krypton, somehow mange to be even more boring and uninspired than the Asgard scenes in the first two Thor movies, and Zack Snyder's de-saturated color palette makes it even worse.
Henry Cavill obviously cared, and he's fine, but he can hardly carry two-and-a-half hours of this movie with this stoic, one-dimensional character. What potential for drama there could have been is squandered with weirdly-placed flashbacks that ruin the pace of the movie.
It gets downright laughable at the end-just two invincible godlike beings punching each other through rows and rows of buildings without even a scratch; you feel nothing. If anything, it makes Superman look like an idiot for even allowing so much destruction in the first place.
Apparently this had a $225,000,000 budget? It looks like total crap. This came out one year after the Avengers and one year before Guardians of the Galaxy.