- I look in the mirror and I go: you're a rock star? It's funny I don't look like a rock star, I don't walk around thinking like a rock star. I'm just this shmegdorf walking around and somebody confronts me and goes BILLY JOEL! and I'm like: Right, I'm that guy.
- I have a theory as to why I've been around so long. I don't think I'm all that good, I think I'm competent, I know how to do what I'm supposed to do. I know how to play the piano, I know how to sing in key, I know how to write music & lyrics, I know how to record and I know how to perform. I'm competent. I know how to do my job.
- I'd rather laugh with the sinners, than cry with the saints.
- There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.
- I love telling stories, and I love hearing a good story being told. Songwriting is fascinating in that it incorporates two things that I love to do: create a story and write the music to it. Then I get to sing it and play the piano on top of that. My job allows me to do four things that I absolutely love. It doesn't get much better than that.
- [on recording "We Are the World"] I remember most of us who were there didn't like the song, but nobody would say so. I think Cyndi Lauper leaned over to me and said, "It sounds like a Pepsi commercial.". And I didn't disagree.
- It's weird you know, the values. Jonas Salk invented the polio vaccine yet I'm worth more money than he is.
- On a three-week commitment after attempting suicide at age 21: I'd go up to the nurse's window and say, "Hey, I'm okay, but these other people are really crazy." They'd just hand me my Thorazine.
- I know: rich bastard. I used to feel awkward about it, but I shrugged it off. It's all luck and sweat. But I earned it - though I can't justify the amounts.
- I looked like Bubbles the Chimp.
- [2008, on being a rock star at age 59] I'm from Long Island; I'm not going to delude myself. I know what I look like. And I want them to know that I know how absurd all this is.
- I'm just this shlubby guy who plays the piano.
- I've been able to make a living as a musician, and that's the greatest blessing of all. The fame, the wealth, the awards, and all that, that's all gravy.
- I went into a deep, deep depression after 9/11. 9/11 just knocked the wind out of me, and I don't know even now if I've recovered from it. It really, really hurt that man could do that to man.
- [on his biggest hit, "Just the Way You Are", originally written for his later-divorced wife] I hate that song. My mind wanders whenever we do it. I start it: Don't go changing... nah nah nah nah... and I forget the words. So I look to the drummer to tell me the words, 'cause he always sings along. And he goes, "She got the house, the dog, the car". I actually sang that one night. The audience were not happy.
- I made it big back when middle age schlubs like myself actually had a chance. The music scene has changed so much. What's on the charts and what's played on radio is so different to what's selling at the record store, online and concerts. Us old guys still sell records and concert tickets, yet we can't make the charts and air play on the radio is a pipe dream. It's a strange divide and a large reason why I stay away from making new records.
- Honestly, I'm fresh out of ideas. I told myself once I had nothing else to write about, I was done making new records.
- The residency at Madison Square Garden is a fantastic setup. I play once a month, so I stay fresh, and since I play at the same location, I get to dive deep into the catalog to play some songs I haven't visited in a while. It make every show unique and special, and I can tell the fans love it as I've sold out every show.
- Musicians want to be the loud voice for so many quiet hearts.
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