- Polly Williams: Hi ya Church, hows your steeple?
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: So long Polly, watch your crackers!
- Henry Lathrop: You know I like to put my cards on the table.
- Ginger Gray: Well I think you could have taken out the joker.
- Ginger Gray: You just don't ask a girl to marry you like you're going to the hardware store to buy a coffeegrinder. I mean you just don't come up to a girl and say 'The humidity is very high for this time of year will you marry me?'
- Henry Lathrop: I just didn't want to get... uh romantic.
- Ginger Gray: Oh you just didn't want to get "UH" romantic. What are you saving it for?
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: [to Ginger] Nice day, isn't it?
- [pause]
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: Nice day yesterday.
- [pause]
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: What do you think the chances are for tomorrow?
- [pause]
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: Say, you by any chance aren't related to Harpo Marx, are you?
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: Would you do something for me? Well, remember the kiss that I gave you this afternoon? Would you mind giving it back to me?
- Ginger Gray: Oh, well, if that's the way you feel about it.
- [kiss]
- Polly Williams: [Danny is about to crown the Queen of the Rodeo] You're about to see a man buried alive!
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: Say, you gonna be busy on Sunday, say, in about fifty years?
- Ginger Gray: No, I don't think so.
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: Would you like to help me celebrate my golden wedding anniversary?
- Ginger Gray: I'd love to, if you don't think your wife would mind.
- Dean Phineas Armour: Well, I've lived through three blizzards, an epidemic, and four wars in my time. I guess I could stand a hundred beautiful girls.
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: You mean Cody? You don't mean to tell me that you're a student there?
- Ginger Gray: No, I carry the mail.
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: Government's making a big mistake. They ought to - put your picture on the postage stamps.
- Specialty: [singing] I'm goin' out and sow a few oats, So, treat me rough, Muss my hair, Don't you dare to handle, Me with care, I'm no innocent child, baby, Keep on treatin' me wild. Treat me rough, Pinch my cheek, Kiss and hug and squeeze me, Till I'm weak, I've been pampered enough, baby, Keep on treatin' me rough...
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: What's so funny?
- Ginger Gray: Oh, the strange things you see when you haven't got a gun.
- Ginger Gray: Here's some mail for you, Mr. Churchill.
- [smells the letters]
- Ginger Gray: Channel No. 5.
- Ginger Gray: You are the most precocious, overconfident, spoiled young man, I've ever had the misfortune to meet.
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: I think you're cute too.
- Ginger Gray: You're a quitter. Why, you've been eating ice cream with a silver spoon in a nice fat college for a long time that when you get out here with plain people, you run for cover.
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: Wait a minute. Now it's my turn. Did anyone tell you that you've got a face like a two-week vacation - with pay? Did anyone ever tell you you've got a nose cute enough to write a song about? Did anyone tell you when a girl like you starts talking about a fellow like me it means only one thing, that you're falling madly in love with him?
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: Did anyone ever tell you that a fellow in my state of mind is apt to kiss a girl in your state of mind?
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: Practically every college in the country was made famous by some event. And you know what's going to be the springboard for Cody College? A Western rodeo. Once a year we'll bring back the West. Daniel Boone!
- Ginger Gray: Jesse James and Buffalo Bill.
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: A hundred beautiful girls
- Ginger Gray: On horseback.
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: Glorious costumes. Happy. Carefree.
- Ginger Gray: Gay!
- Ginger Gray: [singing] Though at love you may be a wizard, I'm wanting to know, Could you warm me up in a blizzard, Say, 40 below...
- Ginger Gray: [singing] I love all the many charms about you, Above all, I want my arms about you, Don't be a naughty papa, Come to baby, Come to baby, do...
- 'Rags': Mr. Churchill, I knew you wasn't gonna walk out on us.
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: You did? How?
- 'Rags': Well, I wasn't one of those taxi jockeys in New York all those years for nothin'. You ain't the kind of guy that'll hop out of a cab in the middle of traffic just because the meter's gonna jump.
- Marjorie Tait: Do you think you have time to meet 12 beautiful girls?
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: Not more than six at a time.
- Henry Lathrop: Well, after approaching the subject from every standpoint very objectively, I think it would be to our mutual advantage if we became engaged.
- Bud Livermore: Looks a little nervous, doesn't he?
- Polly Williams: He's a study...
- Bud Livermore: Yea...
- Polly Williams: ...in suicide.
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: He certainly does pack a terrific wallop.
- Ginger Gray: Who?
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: Mr. Put-Your-Cards-On-The-Table.
- [scoffs]
- Ginger Gray: He's a very nice fella.
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: Yes. He's a very nice fella, just the guy to get Juliet off the balcony.
- Ginger Gray: Well, there are other things besides making love.
- Dean Phineas Armour: Supposing we just forget all about it.
- Henry Lathrop: Yes, sir, but the student council.
- Dean Phineas Armour: Hoot on the student council. There's my glass.
- [Pulls out a pair of glasses]
- Dean Phineas Armour: If this young man thinks we're a...
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: A diljo?
- Dean Phineas Armour: A diljo, that's his privilege. We're still in America, aren't we?
- Henry Lathrop: Yes, sir.
- Dean Phineas Armour: Well that gives him a right to cal us a diljo.
- [to Danny]
- Dean Phineas Armour: As for you, young man, supposing you stop unpacking, packing and resigning... and start learning something around here? Huh?
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: Yes, sir,
- Dean Phineas Armour: Well, get going, both of you.
- [They start to leave]
- Dean Phineas Armour: Oh, just a minute. There's another American custom.
- [Walks over and puts their hands together for a handshake; they smile and shake]
- Dean Phineas Armour: Well, don't stand there like Ike and Mike, scoot.
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: I just happened to be in the neighborhood and I thought I'd drop by to tell you that you're the best-looking automobile mechanic I've ever seen.
- Ginger Gray: Traveling salesman, huh?
- Dean Phineas Armour: Polly, I'm glad to see you.
- Polly Williams: I'm glad you said, "I'm glad to see you," because I'm glad you're glad to see me.
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: [singing] Oh, I'm the chappie, To make you happy, I'll tie your shoesies, And chase your bluesies, Oh, lady, would you? Oh, lady, could you use me?
- Ginger Gray: Hey, Polly, you're gonna get fat if you don't stop eating all those bananas.
- Polly Williams: When you look like me from the neck up, from the neck down is no problem.
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: Why not make the school coeducational?
- Mr. Churchill Sr.: Oh, no.
- Danny Churchill, Jr.: Dad, didn't I tell you girls had a future?
- Mr. Churchill Sr.: I always said you were girl crazy. I was wrong! You're just crazy!