Photos
Quotes
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Mike Edwards : Hey kid, how would you like to kick me in the shin?
Boy : How would I like to kick you in the shin?
Mike Edwards : Uhum.
Boy : Mister are you drunk?
Mike Edwards : No. I'll tell you what, if you kick me in the shin I'll give you a quarter, here.
[Gives the boy a quarter and the boy kicks him]
Mike Edwards : [in pain] Yeoww! That's good! Thanks kid.
[limps off]
Boy : [shaking his head] Adults, they're all nuts!
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Mike Edwards : Danny, you weren't born, you were dealt.
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Henry Johnson : [walks in on Dorothy and Mike "relaxing" on the couch] Well?
Dorothy Johnson : Well, you're home early.
Henry Johnson : I'd say we got home just in time!
Emma Johnson : I hope!
Mike Edwards : We were just going to have some iced tea. Would you like to join us?
Henry Johnson : Get me my gun, Emma.
Mike Edwards : And if you don't like iced tea, I can go get some beer.
Henry Johnson : I said to get my gun!
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Danny Burke : You didn't tell me she was put together like that!
Mike Edwards : Can't you tell a nice girl when you meet one?
Danny Burke : Oh oh! Now he's a cub scout. What happened, somebody steal your wolf whistle?
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Sue Lin : Ohhhh! Ohhhh! I don't feel good, Mr. Mike. I don't feel good!
Mike Edwards : I wonder why!
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Mike Edwards : When I was all alone up in the blue with Bessie, I just didn't feel the need for anybody else.
Diane Warren : "Bessie"?
Mike Edwards : She's my airplane.
Diane Warren : Oh, you're a flyer?
Mike Edwards : Yeah. 9,000 hours in the air. 8,000 with a plane.
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Diane Warren : There is *nothing* in either eye.
Mike Edwards : Well, maybe it's right in the middle, just passing under my nose, and going from one eye to the other?
Diane Warren : I'm afraid that would be medically impossible.
Mike Edwards : Well, you can't tell. Science is making new discoveries every day.
Diane Warren : Yes. And it's too bad they haven't come up with a wolf repellant!
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Mike Edwards : My name is Mike Edwards. I'd like to start over again, Miss Warren.
Diane Warren : The only thing that I want you to start, Mr. Edwards, is *out*!
Mike Edwards : Look, I know I have a tendency to press, but it's a personality flaw. Basically, I'm not a bad guy, really.
Diane Warren : Do you want me to call the guard?
Mike Edwards : I like it better with just the two of us.
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Mike Edwards : Diane, believe me, the kid is an absolute stranger!
Diane Warren : And you're an absolute liar!... As far as I'm concerned, you can go back up the Space Needle and jump off!
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Danny Burke : You going to give up flying?
Mike Edwards : Well, not exactly. I've been thinking about signing up for something in the Space Program.
Danny Burke : Space! Beautiful! You'd be perfect for it - you got a head full of it!
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Second Attendant : [Mike brings Sue Lin to the nurse's station] Good heavens, what's the matter?
Sue Lin : I got a stomach ache.
Mike Edwards : She kinda' went overboard on the groceries, ma'am. I'm afraid it's my fault.
Second Attendant : That's generally the case. Are you all right?
Mike Edwards : Oh, sure. My stomach went through 3 years in the Army, ha ha.
[the nurse is not amused]
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Mike Edwards : [singing] Don't know where I'm going, Don't know where it ends, Till the grass is greener, beyond the bend...
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Dorothy Johnson : [kissing on the couch] Please, Mike, I think I better make us some iced tea.
Mike Edwards : Cool down, honey. You're like a fluttering bird.
[kiss]
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Dorothy Johnson : I really ought to go and see about that iced tea.
Mike Edwards : Honey, you're going to have a seizure carrying on like this.
Dorothy Johnson : I am?
Mike Edwards : Sure. Racing that sweet little motor of yours on a warm day.
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Danny Burke : Look, you spend all your dough on dolls and duds. What's that supposed to mean? Penance?
Mike Edwards : Well, at least I've still got the duds, now, about the dolls, it's a different story.
Danny Burke : I know, you're makin' a scalp collection.
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Mike Edwards : [looking in his little black book] Now, let's see. Anne, Betty, Claudette - Dorothy. Thirty-eight, Twenty-... . Maple Street.
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Mike Edwards : [singing] I wanna see everything, do everything, While we're doin' it all, I'll buy the peanuts and popcorn, We'll have us a ball...
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Mike Edwards : [singing] Relax... mmmmm... .let loose... mmmm... defrost... .mmmmm... .mmmmm... .
[kiss]
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Mike Edwards : [singing] Cut loose, let your hair down honey, Unwind, turn the lights down low, Relax, let's uncork the stopper, Come to papa, come on let's go...
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Danny Burke : What tears you away from a Pinochle game? A couple of desperados headed this way?
Sheriff Garland : Nope. Just a couple of deadbeats.
Mike Edwards : Well, I sure hope you find 'em.
Sheriff Garland : I just did.
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Mike Edwards : She's the kind that might go for the sympathy bit.
Danny Burke : Who?
Mike Edwards : The nurse I met at the fairgrounds today. Florence Nightingale, servant of humanity, and all that jazz.
Danny Burke : The rabbit hunter rides again. Some doll gives him the brush and right away its a challenge.
Mike Edwards : I'll tell her she's keeping me up at nights. Ruining my health. Breaking my heart.
Danny Burke : She'll probably hand you a pill.
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Danny Burke : You never listen to me. You know, you never listen to me!
Mike Edwards : I wonder why?
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Danny Burke : What happened?
Mike Edwards : You're probably gonna laugh yourself to death when I tell you. I ran into this girl today.
Danny Burke : Flash! He ran into a girl. Today!
Mike Edwards : Yeah, I know, I know. But, this girl is - I must be flippin' my lid. She's not even my type.
Danny Burke : You mean like aloof?
Mike Edwards : Worse. Chilly! Ice cold!
Danny Burke : Well, they all have to be room temperature, right?
Mike Edwards : Right.
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Mike Edwards : You'd be surprised, Danny. Some women love to think that they can destroy you.
Danny Burke : And do.
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Mike Edwards : Oh boy, and I had to fall for her. A dame that likes to go around making everyone's decisions for them. She must think she's got the only brain in town!
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Mike Edwards : [singing] I think that you can play the part, And give a guy, a happy heaaaaAAAAaaart, Happy ending...
Diane Warren : Happy ending!
Mike Edwards , Diane Warren : Give me a story with a, Happy ending...
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Mike Edwards : I'm glad I got a good look at this side of her.
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Mike Edwards : What are you doing over there? Taking a bow for the mess you made?
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Sue Lin : Look, Mr. Mike. What's that?
Mike Edwards : It's called a monorail, honey.
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Mike Edwards : Tell me some more about this space program.
Diane Warren : All right. Are you really a pilot?
Mike Edwards : Sure.
Diane Warren : Well, the space program has a lot of jobs that a pilot can qualify for.
Mike Edwards : I might just look into that. You know, there may come a time when we'll remember this as the day that I started out with a broken leg and, thanks to you, ended up strapped in a nose cone.