- Dudley Hawks: How many times must I warn you to stay away from girls?
- Herman: But she was someone to talk to.
- Dudley Hawks: Oh yes, it all starts with talking, yakity-yakity-yak. But the moment the talking stops, my boy. you're in trouble.
- Herman: You have an evil mind.
- Dudley Hawks: I'm old enough to enjoy it. You're not. And keep the door locked.
- Ed Lindquist: When the astronauts couldn't agree on a good luck name for their rocket, they let their children pick the name.
- Grant: Their children?
- Ed Lindquist: From a record album.
- Grant: I hope I didn't hear you say record album?
- Ed Lindquist: I understand it sold over a million copies.
- Dudley Hawks: I say, old boy, how are you doing?
- Herman: I was just thinking. I'm 18 now. I wonder if I'll ever get to be 19?
- Herman: We don't want to be cooped up like this all the time. We want to get out and be with people.
- Dudley Hawks: People, eh? Girls! That's who you want to be with.
- Herman: Dudley, we want to be with anybody! To find out what Americans are really like.
- Dudley Hawks: I can tell you about girls.
- Keith: Mother, we'd rather do it ourselves.
- Herman: Dudley, what's wrong with us having a few laughs?
- Dudley Hawks: You want laughs? I'll buy you a joke book.
- Herman: I'm glad I found you.
- Louisa Page: Oh, it's just like in the movies, the hero always finds his girl.
- Cecile Bannister: You pinhead! The Hermits are news and if I'm gonna be news, I gotta be where it is!
- Herman: [aboard the space craft] Did you check the pressure, Dudley?
- Dudley Hawks: No.
- Herman: Why not?
- Dudley Hawks: I always put business before pressure.