- Jill Munroe: Come on, be a pal. I can't tell you how many hours I've spent lying in bed trying to put a face... and a body on that voice.
- [referring to Charlie]
- Scott Woodville: Beats watching the Late Show, I imagine.
- Beau Creel: A little biddy nightgown like that, she'll catch her death in the swamp. Just like her daddy did.
- Hotel Clerk: Eh, I can assure you, Miss LeMaire, Suite 400 is on the fourth floor.
- Sabrina Duncan: [posing as a wealthy socialite] Yes, well, you don't seem to understand. I meant: the fourth floor.
- Hotel Clerk: The entire floor?
- Sabrina Duncan: Yes. There are two of us.
- Jill Munroe: It's a nice room. Isn't it?
- Sabrina Duncan: It's not bad. A little overdone.
- Jill Munroe: It's not bad actually, kind of early American nothing.
- Wilder: [about Bosley] Been at it for a couple of hours now. Doesn't look like he's after birds.
- Beau Creel: [takes a look at Bosley through binoculars] Not unless they fly underwater.
- John Bosley: I saw a Speckled Robin. Now that's the first one I've seen this far North in years.
- Beau Creel: By any chance, did you see a Lying Swallow?
- John Bosley: I don't believe I know the species.
- Beau Creel: I'm looking at one.
- Wilder: What'll we do with 'em?
- Beau Creel: Well, we came to dig a grave, may have to make it a whole cemetery.
- Charles 'Charlie' Townsend: [on speakerphone] Well, that's it until next time, now I'd better get back to the job at hand.
- Beau Creel: [to 'birdwatcher' Bosley] If you don't talk, the only bird around here is gonna be a dead duck!