California Suite (1978)
Michael Caine: Sidney Cochran
Photos
Quotes
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Diana Barrie : What's that green slime you're eating? It looks like a dish out of Oliver Twist.
Sidney Cochran : I'm not sure... I think they run the front lawn through a blender.
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Sidney Cochran : I am going to bed. We have a 10 a.m. plane to catch in the morning.
Diana Barrie : 10 a.m. is the morning. That is redundant, you A.H.
Sidney Cochran : Oh, do you think I don't know what you're saying? I *can* spell, you know.
Diana Barrie : Not without moving your lips, you can't.
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Diana Barrie : [angrily] I'm not asking you - I'm threatening you, you crud!
Sidney Cochran : Now I'm definitely not going to tell you.
Diana Barrie : [sincerely] I'm sorry - I take it back Sidney, you're not a crud!
Sidney Cochran : Am I still an asshole?
Diana Barrie : Definitely!
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Sidney Cochran : You drank everything in this state. Try Nevada!
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Sidney Cochran : One day when you're an antique I shall vote for you. I promise.
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Sidney Cochran : I don't follow other people's films. I barely follow yours.
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Sidney Cochran : Channel 12 just called you the dark horse. They must have seen the dress.
Diana Barrie : You hate it.
Sidney Cochran : How much was it?
Diana Barrie : Nothing, Joe Pickman paid for it.
Sidney Cochran : Then I love it.
Diana Barrie : Damn it I wish you didn't have such good taste.
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Diana Barrie : If there's one thing i can't stand it's a bi-sexual homosexual. Or is it the other way 'round?
Sidney Cochran : It works either way.
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Diana Barrie : [after he kisses her] Don't close your eyes, Sidney.
Sidney Cochran : I always close my eyes.
Diana Barrie : Not tonight. Look at me tonight. Let it be me tonight.
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Diana Barrie : How many gin-and-tonics have you had?
Sidney Cochran : Three gins, one tonic.
Diana Barrie : [admonishingly] Catch up on the tonics. We don't want to be disgusting tonight, do we?
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Sidney Cochran : [shouting] I am not an asshole!
Diana Barrie : I've just thrown up on some of the biggest people in Hollywood. Now is no time to be sensitive.
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Diana Barrie : You can stop pretending to be asleep, Sidney. It's over.
Sidney Cochran : [removes his headphones] I was listening to Beethoven's Ninth. Somewhere on this plane there's a wonderful orchestra.
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Passenger : I hope you win the Oscar!
Diana Barrie : [privately to Sidney] It's bizarre. Eight years with the national theatre, two Pinter plays, nine Shakespeare, three Shaw, and I finally get nominated for a nauseating little comedy.
Sidney Cochran : That's why they call it Hollywood.
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Diana Barrie : What's wrong with my hair? I look like I've combed it with a towel.
Sidney Cochran : When you played Elizabeth, you looked like a warthog and you never complained once.
Diana Barrie : That was acting. This is living. Living - I want to be beautiful.
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Diana Barrie : Oh, Christ, I hate getting dressed like this. Why is it I'm always perfectly comfortable as somebody else. I'd be perfectly happy going as Hedda Gabler.
Sidney Cochran : Try Quasimodo.
Diana Barrie : Try shutting up!
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Diana Barrie : Now, check me out. Do I have too much jewelry on?
Sidney Cochran : Jingle it. I can't tell if I don't hear it.
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Diana Barrie : Give me a drink. You have the most bizarre sense of humor.
Sidney Cochran : Bizarre people often do!
[pours Diana a drink]
Diana Barrie : Give me a bit more. It's alright. I won't get pissed till after I lose.
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Sidney Cochran : Where are you going?
Diana Barrie : I need another drink. The last one wore off in the lift.
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Diana Barrie : You should have never given it up, Sidney.
Sidney Cochran : What?
Diana Barrie : Acting! Christ, you were good. You had more promise than anyone.
Sidney Cochran : Really? I can't think what it was I promised.
Diana Barrie : You were so gentle on stage. So unselfish. So giving. You had a sweet, gentle quality.
Sidney Cochran : Yes. I would have made a wonderful Ophelia.
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Diana Barrie : You could go back, Sidney, if you wanted to. We could do plays together. Have more time together.
Sidney Cochran : No, there'd be problems. It would be awful if we were both up for the same part.
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Diana Barrie : God damn him! God damn you. God damn Oscars. God damn California! God damn everything.
Sidney Cochran : What is it about this climate that brings out the religion in you?
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Diana Barrie : Oh, God, how I envy you. You're the one with all the talent. I'm the one who has to make a horse's ass of myself.
Sidney Cochran : Talent? What talent do I have?
Diana Barrie : You have nothing but talent. You cook better than I do. You write better than I do. God knows you dress better than I do.
Sidney Cochran : Better than I. The "do" is superfluous.
Diana Barrie : You speak better than I do.
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Diana Barrie : They will think that we are still mad for each other after twelve years.
Sidney Cochran : Oh, I thought we were. I keep forgetting.
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Diana Barrie : What do you do with your afternoon... Sidney?
Sidney Cochran : In London? I don't think we have afternoon.
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Sidney Cochran : The only think you don't do in your dressing room is dress.
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[during an argument after the awards]
Diana Barrie : Faggot.
Sidney Cochran : Oh, good. I thought you'd never ask.
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Sidney Cochran : Oh! Gorgeous color. The smog. I wonder if they sell it in bottles. It would make a wonderful present for the folks back home.
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Sidney Cochran : Diana, it's Joe Pickman.
Diana Barrie : Tell him I'm in the can.
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Sidney Cochran : That was very sweet.
Diana Barrie : Did you like it, dear? That's going to be my acceptance speech.
Sidney Cochran : Your acceptance speech?
Diana Barrie : All except the part that I was in the can. Well, naturally, you and I know I don't have a hope in hell; but, you have to prepare something. You can't just stand there, sobbing all over Burt Reynolds.
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Diana Barrie : Let's do something naughty. You always think of such good naughty things to do.
Sidney Cochran : I was naughty all day yesterday.
Diana Barrie : Not with me, you weren't.
Sidney Cochran : You'll just have to learn to show up on time.
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Diana Barrie : Do you know what I might do next year, Sidney?
Sidney Cochran : I pray, anything but Ibsen.
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Diana Barrie : You've got that glazed look in your eye again, Sidney. That "bored-with-her-life" attitude.
Sidney Cochran : I'm never bored with your life, my angel. I love the openings and the parties. I lead a very gay life.
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Sidney Cochran : I'm perfectly happy selling my 18th Century door knockers.
Diana Barrie : You still haven't told me what you do with your afternoons.
Sidney Cochran : I just told you. I look for knockers.
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Diana Barrie : Are you unhappy because you didn't get to wear my dress?
Sidney Cochran : If I had worn your dress, it would have hung properly.
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Sidney Cochran : Nothing personal.
Diana Barrie : There never is anything personal between us, is there? Or, is that getting too personal?
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Sidney Cochran : I was devastated when you lost. But, look at it this way, it's just a little bald, naked statue.
Diana Barrie : Just like you'll be one day.
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Sidney Cochran : I have never hidden behind closed doors. But, I am discrete.
Diana Barrie : Discrete! You did everything but lick his artichoke.
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Sidney Cochran : Diana, it is nearly four o'clock in the morning. Now is not a good time to discuss biological discrepancies.
Diana Barrie : Faggot!
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Diana Barrie : Its been an evening of ups-and-downs, hasn't it? - - Care to continue the motion?
Sidney Cochran : Tacky. You're getting tacky, my angel.