Beetlejuice (1988)

Geena Davis: Barbara

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Adam : You can see us without the sheets?

  Lydia : Of course I can see you.

  Adam : Well, how is it you see us and nobody else can?

  Lydia : Well, I've read through that handbook for the recently deceased. It says: 'live people ignore the strange and unusual". I myself am strange and unusual.

  Barbara : You look like a regular girl to me.

• Juno : What's wrong?

  Barbara : We're very unhappy.

  Juno : What did you expect? You're dead!

• Barbara : [after Jane did not hear Adam call her]  She didn't see you, right?

  Adam : Unh-uh.

  Barbara : [reading the handbook]  In the book: "Rule Number Two: the living usually won't see the dead".

  Adam : 'Won't' or 'can't'?

  Barbara : It just says 'won't'. God, this book is so stupid. I can't understand anything in it.

  [Adam takes the book and closes it] 

  Adam : Barb, honey... we're dead. I don't think we have very much to worry about anymore.

• [in the waiting room of the afterlife] 

  Barbara : Adam, is this what happens when you die?

  Receptionist : This is what happens when *you* die.

  [points at a gaunt man smoking] 

  Receptionist : That is what happens when *he* dies.

  [points at a woman cut in half on the sofa reading] 

  Receptionist : And that is what happens when *they* die. It's all very personal. And I'll tell you something: if I knew then what I know now...

  [shows her slit wrists] 

  Receptionist : ...I wouldn't have had my little accident.

  [the dead people laugh] 

• Lydia : Are you the guys hiding out in the attic?

  Adam : We're ghosts!

  Lydia : What do you look like under there?

  Adam : Aren't you scared?

  Lydia : I'm not scared of sheets. Are you gross under there? Are you "Night of the Living Dead" under there? Like all bloody veins and pus?

  Adam : Night of the what?

  Lydia : Living Dead. It's a movie.

  Barbara : You know, if I had seen a ghost at your age I would have been scared out of my wits.

• Adam : Cabin fever, hon?

  Barbara : Well, I can't clean anything properly. The vacuum's out in the garage and we can't leave the house. Why don't they tell us something? I mean, where are all the other dead people in the world? Why is it just you and me?

  Adam : Maybe this is heaven.

  Barbara : In heaven there wouldn't be dust on everything.

• Beetlejuice : I gotta card around here, somewhere. Here, here. Who do I have to kill? Here hold that for me, would ya?

  [hands Barbara a rat] 

  Barbara : Whoa! AHH!

  Beetlejuice : There. There ya go.

  Adam : You don't have to kill anybody!

  Beetlejuice : Ah, possession! Good.

  Barbara : [In Betelgeuse's voice]  Learn to throw your voice! Fool your friends! Fun at parties!

• Messenger : How do I look? There are no mirrors on this side.

  Adam : Fine, you look fine.

  Messenger : Yeah?

  Barbara : Fine.

  Messenger : Thanks, I've been feeling a little flat.

  [he laughs and goes through the crevice in the filing room] 

• Beetlejuice : I'm feeling a little, ooh, anxious if you know what I mean. It's been about six hundred years after all. I wonder where a guy, an everyday Joe like myself, can find a little action...

  [a brothel appears] 

  Beetlejuice : [dances with joy]  Hey, Adam, nice move!

  Barbara : Adam, why did you build that?

  Adam : I didn't!

  [Adam and Barbara appear at Juno's office] 

  Juno : The whorehouse was my idea! I want you to get Beetlejuice out of the picture!

• [repeated line] 

  Barbara : Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse.

• Adam : [reading]  'Handbook of the Recently Diseased'.

  Barbara : ...*deceased*.

  Adam : Deceased?

  Barbara : I don't know where it came from. Look at the publisher.

  Adam : [does so]  'Handbook for the Recently Deceased Press'.

  Barbara : You know what? I don't think we survived the crash!

• Barbara : [to Adam]  What's the good of being a ghost if you can't frighten people away?

• Barbara : Lydia's trying, but they don't believe her.

  Adam : She's got photos, Barbara.

  Barbara : Adam, you had a photo of Big Foot!

• Barbara : What's wrong?

  Lydia : Beetle...

  Barbara : Shhh!

  Lydia : HE told me that if I could let him out, he would take me to the other side to find you.

  Barbara : Lydia, we're dead.

  Lydia : Well, I want to be dead too.

  Barbara : No! Lydia, being dead really doesn't make things any easier.

  Adam : Listen to her on this, Lydia, this is something we know a lot about!

• Adam : How is it that you can see us but nobody else can?

  Lydia : Well, I read in that "Handbook For The Recently Deceased". It says, "Live people ignore the strange and unusual." I, myself, am strange and unusual.

  Barbara : You look like a regular girl to me.

• Delia : Charles, I will not stop living and breathing art just because you need to relax.

  Charles : Ha.

  Delia : I'm here with you. I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself. If you don't let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will go insane, AND I WILL TAKE YOU WITH ME!

  Charles : [after a long pause]  Yeah, well, you know, maybe the house could use a little remodeling. Uh... But, why don't you just leave this room alone, okay?

  Delia : [smiles]  Okay.

  [Delia and Otho leave as Charles goes furious] 

  Barbara : [furiously]  I'm gonna get her.

• [Adam and Barbara see a dark room with decomposed souls] 

  Barbara : Oh, Adam... What is this?

  Janitor : That's the lost souls room; a room for ghosts that have been exorcised. The poor devils. That's death for the dead. It's all in the handbook.

  [he closes the shade of the room] 

  Janitor : Keep moving.

• Barbara : [after the Deetzes moved in]  Is this a punishment or something? What are we gonna do?

  Adam : We're not completely helpless, Barbara. I've been reading that book and there's a word for people in our situation: ghosts.

• Barbara : What about that guy in the flyer, you know Betel...

  Juno : Shhh! Don't even say his name! You don't want his help!

  Adam : We might.

  Juno : No, you don't! He does not work well with others.

  Barbara : What do you mean?

  Juno : I didn't want to bring it up, but rather than have you stumble on to it and make another mistake, I'll tell you. He was my assistant, but he was a troublemaker. Went out on his own as a freelance bio-exorcist. Claimed he could get rid of the living. Got into more trouble. In fact, I believe he's been sleazing around your cemetery lately. The only way he can be brought back is by calling his name three times. But I strongly suggest you get the Deetzes out by yourselves.

• Juno : Okay, have you been studying the manual?

  Adam : Well, we tried.

  Juno : The intermediate interface chapter on haunting says it all: get them out yourselves, it's your house. Haunted houses aren't easy to come by.

  Barbara : Well, we don't quite get it.

  Juno : I heard. Tore your faces right off. It obviously doesn't do any good to pull your heads off in front of people if they can't see you!

  Adam : We should start more simply then?

  Juno : Start simply, do what you know, use your talents, practice! You should have been studying those lessons since day one.

• [Adam and Barbara make it back home as the sandworm is about to eat them] 

  Barbara : [crying, hugs Adam]  Oh, Adam! We're trapped in this house with those people!

• [Adam and Barbara struggle to understand the "Handbook for the Recently Deceased"] 

  Barbara : I hate this. Just can you give me the basics?

  Adam : Well, this book isn't arranged that way. What do you wanna know?

  Barbara : Well, why did you disappear when you stepped off the porch? Are we halfway to heaven? Are we halfway to hell? And... how long is this gonna last?

  Adam : I don't see anything about heaven OR hell. This book reads like stereo instructions. Listen to this: "Geographical and temporal perimeters. Functional perimeters vary from manifestation to manifestation.

  [Snaps book shut] 

  Adam : Oh, this is gonna take some time, honey.

• Barbara : [to Adam]  Maybe we should try that Beetle guy.

• Adam : It's the first day of our vacation, and you haven't been out of the kitchen since five a.m.

  Barbara : [proudly]  I always make the flag cake.

  Adam : Fifty stars, thirteen stripes. Did you get it right this year?

• Barbara : I'll go see who that is. You start counting.

  [she goes out of the kitchen into the dining room] 

  Adam : [starts counting the stars by naming off the states]  Maine. New Hampshire. Vermont. Massachusetts. Connecticut.

• Lydia : You're not gross. Why are you wearing sheets?

  Barbara : We're Practicing.

  Adam : You can see us without the sheets.

  Lydia : [seriously]  Of course I can see you.

  Adam : Well, how else if you see us and nobody else can?

  Lydia : Well I read through that handbook for the recently deceased. It says, 'Live people ignore the strange and unusual.' I myself am strange and unusual.

  Barbara : You like a regular girl to me.

  Adam : You read our book?

  Lydia : Yeah.

  Adam : You could follow it?

  Lydia : Yeah. Why are you guys creeping around in Delia's bedroom?

  Adam : Well, we were trying to scare your mother.

  Lydia : Stepmother.

  Lydia : [continues]  Anyway, you can't scare her. She's sleeping with Prince Valium tonight.