Major League II (1994)

Randy Quaid: Johnny

Quotes 

• Harry Doyle : We're in the top of the 9th inning leading 10-7, bases loaded, two down, and Rick Vaughn has come on to try to nail it down against Felipe Aguilar, a dangerous right-handed batter. Here's the pitch.

  [Aguilar crushes it] 

  Harry Doyle : Aww, shit.

  Johnny , Bobby , Vic : [in unison]  No! No! No!

  Harry Doyle : If that's not Shaquille O'Neal in left, that baby's outta here.

  Johnny : [catches the ball in the stands for a home run]  NO! You rotten bums! You overpaid weenies! Mild thing, you make my butt sting! I *detest* you! You're all garbage! All of ya! Back up the truck! Back it up!

• Johnny : [after Taylor signals to the bullpen]  He wants the righty, he wants the Mild Thing, the grab your throat and choke thing.

  Rick Vaughn : Shove it up your ass, lard mouth.

  Johnny : Oh my god, Oh my god!

• [Willie is in his first at-bat and points his bat to the left field fence] 

  Harry Doyle : And look at this. Willie Mays Hayes is calling his shot.

  Johnny : All right Willie! Right here!

  Rube Baker : What's he pointing at? Does he know somebody out there!

  Harry Doyle : Hayes steps in and gets his pitch. There's a swing and it's going toward left. And it is...

  [Willie hits the ball and the left fielder catches it at the warning track] 

  Harry Doyle : Not quite gone.

  Willie Mays Hayes : That had to be the wind.

  Johnny : It must have been the wind.

• Johnny : He wants the Mild Thing, the grab your throat and choke thing

  Rick Vaughn : Blow it out your ass, lardmouth

  Johnny : [Shocked at seeing Vaughn in classic form]  Oh my God, OH my God!

• Johnny : [seeing Rick Vaughn coming out of the dugout and heading into the bullpen]  Vile Thing, I think I *loathe* you! You did think I'd abandon you, did you Vaughn? You human piece of cow slop! You big steaming pile of mastodon dung! Bring out the pooper scooper! You bush league no-talent flash in the pan choke artist! Huh?

  [Vaughn starts to walk back to the dugout] 

  Johnny : Hey, where you going, Vaughn, huh? You looking for your Terminator, Vaughn? Yeah, you go back in there, Vaughn!

• Johnny : Vile thing, you make my butt sting! I detest you! You're all garbage, all of ya! Back up the truck, back it up!

• Nikki Reese : [Rick Vaughn shakes off fastball]  He's afraid of his fastball.

  Jack Parkman : He's screwed.

  Johnny : You're screwed Vaughn.

  Tanaka : [in Japanese]  He's dicked.

• Bobby : Just think, after this game we'll be going to the World Series.

  Johnny : Yeah, in Chicago.