Treed Murray (2001)

Clé Bennett: Shark

Quotes 

• Murray : Laugh it up, you bunch of cowards.

  KC : You're the one hiding in the tree, man.

  Murray : No shit, Einstein! 'Cause you're a gang, I can't beat a fucking *gang*!

  Shark : A gang? We're not a gang. More like a... More like a... A squad of self-directed urban park-rangers.

• Murray : I'm sorry.

  Shark : No, no, no. I said you need to come down, here, and apologize, you know, face to face, like a man. Not up there, like a squirrel.

• Murray : [to Shark]  From what I can see, you're the boss because you threaten, you manipulate and you intimidate. You're a bully. It's how Hitler got into power.

  Carter : Yo! You calling us Nazis?

  Murray : Well hey, if the jackboot fits, shorty...

  Carter : Shows what you know! My grandpa faught the Nazis.

  Murray : Oh yeah? Well, I bet your grandpa is just bursting with pride in you now.

  Carter : Fuck you!

  Murray : Good answer!

  Shark : Look, look. Don't nobody talk to the squirrel no more.

  Murray : See, censorship! Next, he'll be shutting down our newspapers!

• Homeless Man : [Sees Murray hiding in the tree]  ... ANGELS!

  Shark : What the fuck, man?

• Murray : You see, I know people. And if you had a way to get me down, like a gun or something, you'd have used it by now.

  Shark : [laughs]  A gun? Murray! Using a gun is like making your baby sister cry uncle.

• Shark : Does your wife know that your aspirin bottle comes with a little prize inside?

• Murray : So it's... It's getting really dark. What do you say we end this? You win, all right?

  Shark : You coming down?

  Murray : You guys go, you take my stuff, you take my apologies, and you leave knowing that you beat me. Then, I'll come down, you know, go home and you'll never... Never see me again.

  Shark : [laughs]  So, you're gonna let us win? Okay. We win! Yay!

  [stops laughing] 

  Shark : You *arrogant* fuck. You think I give two shits that it's getting dark, huh? Is that the best you got, Murray? What the fuck did you think I was gonna say? "That was a great chat, buddy. I'm so glad that we were able to see eye to eye on this issue. You're free to go, now."

• Murray : It's over, scumbag. You do value your friend, and you know something? That's good. For me.

  [takes out the knife] 

  Murray : You know how to stop the bleeding from a major artery? You have to isolate the wound, press down. Believe it or not, I actually did it once. Life rescue. But you gotta be right the first time ...

  Kelly : Don't.

  Murray : Oh, I think so. Here's the plan: I'm gonna cut your friend and I'm gonna drop him. Then I'm gonna tell you how to pinch off the bleeding while someone goes for help. No help, he's dead in 15 minutes. Okay, everybody ready? Or maybe we can spare him the trouble, huh? Send the big guy to the park right now. If he's back with the cops in 15 minutes, I won't poke a hole in the president.

  Shark : Nobody's leaving.

  Kelly : Yes, okay? Just don't.

  Murray : Okay. Anybody else wanna vote for my plan?

• [Everyone is hiding in the bushes from the Raven] 

  Murray : [laughing]  Oh, you guys, you've gotta admit, you are not looking so tough at the moment.

  [yells] 

  Murray : Oh, Raven! Oh, oh, Raven!

  Shark : [whispering]  Shut the fuck up!

  Murray : Yo, Raven, over here, I've got some chumps for you to blood.

  Dwayne : Stop it, please.

  Murray : Oh, I'm sorry. Am I getting the lingo wrong?

  Dwayne : You don't know what you're doing.

  Murray : Oh, yes, I do. I'm calling...

  [shouts] 

  Murray : Raven! Oh!

  Dwayne : Shh! They'll kill you.

  Murray : Haven't you heard? I'm already slated for death. I mean, it comes up every five minutes, for Christ's sake!

• Shark : [to Murray]  Okay, okay. Throw down your wallet, man.

  [Murray does] 

  Shark : Smart. Smart. See, what did I tell you about these cats in suits? Educated.