- Dr. Jordan Cavanaugh: I'm sorry, Woody. You know, we tried this once before.
- Det. Woody Hoyt: We have?
- Dr. Jordan Cavanaugh: Yeah, you know, that time in California.
- Det. Woody Hoyt: Jordan, that was like a kiss I'd give my aunt.
- Dr. Jordan Cavanaugh: You French kiss your aunt?
- Lily Lebowski: Is it just me, or is there something seriously wrong with Jordan?
- Dr. Mahesh "Bug" Vijayaraghavensatanaryanamurthy: Now there's a loaded question.
- Det. Woody Hoyt: It shouldn't take a man this long to get to first base, Jordan.
- Dr. Jordan Cavanaugh: I don't know, Woody. I'm really not into baseball analogies. They remind me of my dad, you know. And then I got him in my head. And that gets even really warped for me.
- Dr. Stiles: I mean, for the last 24 years, you've been hiding in a locked room. You wanna... leave a door open? Leave it open to let yourself out.