- God: [In the Drunken Clam, God spots a woman trying to light a cigarette] Here, baby. Let me help you with that.
- Hot Chick at the Bar: [God summons a lightning bolt to light her cigarette] Wow! Thanks!
- God: That's nothing. Watch this!
- [God summons another lightning bolt which strikes the woman, exploding her and setting the bar on fire]
- God: Jesus Christ!
- Jesus Christ: [Jesus comes running] What?
- God: Get the Escalade, we're outta here!
- Tom Tucker: [Outside the burning Drunken Clam where Peter is helping Horace escape the fire] Here comes the blind hero now. Tell me sir, how were you able to summon up the courage to enter that burning building?
- Peter Griffin: That freakin' place was on fire?
- [drops Horace]
- Peter Griffin: Okay, first of all, Bonnie, you've been pregnant for like six years, all right. Either have the baby or don't. Second of all, Quagmire's a good guy, he's just a little mixed up.
- [That man sized yellow chicken from Da Boom tackles him out of nowhere and another fight occurs between them]
- Cleveland Brown: I must say, I do feel a strange satisfaction watchin' the black ball topple all those self-righteous white pins.
- Joe Swanson: Can't blame them for being self-righteous. The black ball's in their neighborhood uninvited.
- Cleveland Brown: The black ball's done nothin' wrong.
- Joe Swanson: If the black ball's innocent, it has nothin' to fear.
- Peter Griffin: [at Quahog Elementary School dressed as Gary the No-Trash Cougar] Brian, This time I think I got just the thing people'll remember me for. I am gonna stop pollution with my new, lovable character, Gary the No-Trash Cougar.
- [puts headpiece on]
- Peter Griffin: [Dressed as Gary the No-Trash Cougar, cocks gun and points it at kids in cafeteria who are hiding under the tables] Pick up your trash! I wanna know whose cup this is!
- [fires a bullet at the ceiling]
- Peter Griffin: I said, I wanna know whose cup this is!
- [a girl comes out from under the table, raises her hand]
- Peter Griffin: [Peter, dressed as Gary the No-Trash Cougar points the gun at the girl as he instructs her to pick up the cup]
- [girl throws cop in garbage]
- Peter Griffin: Thank you sweetie. See what a nicer place this is when we all pitch in? Like Gary the No-Trash Cougar says: "Give a larbage, throw out your garbage!" Spread the word!
- [fires several more shots at the ceiling before leaving]
- Crackle: Those freakin' elves, man. They just came out of the trees, they just came out of the trees!
- Pop: You saved my ass back there, man.
- Crackle: You saved mine.
- Crackle: [as he lifts his beer in a toast] Here's to Snap!
- Pop: [they clink glasses] To Snap!
- Tom Tucker: How did you manage to blindly rescue that man from that burning building?
- Peter Griffin: That freaking place was on fire?
- Peter Griffin: [Peter is dressed as Gary, the No-Trash Cougar] Pick up your trash!
- [takes out a gun and waves it around]
- Peter Griffin: Pick up your trash!
- Peter Griffin: [points to a wayward cup] I wanna know whose cup this is!
- Peter Griffin: [fires two shots into the ceiling] I said, I wanna know whose cup this is!
- Peter Griffin: [little girl raises her hand] Pick it up! Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up!
- [little girl picks up the cup]
- Peter Griffin: Thank you, sweetie! You see what a nicer place this is when we all pitch in?
- Peter Griffin: Like Gary the No-Trash Cougar says, "Give a lobbage - throw out your garbage"
- [fires two more shots into the ceiling]