Family Guy (TV Series)
Death Is a Bitch (2000)
Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Tom Tucker, Dr. Elmer Hartman, Biker #2, Dr. Kevorkian, Elliott, Executioner, Freddy Krueger, Hitler, Male Flight Attenden, Mike Wallace, Pilot
Photos
Quotes
-
Death : Wait, don't tell anyone I'm here. For if humanity discovers that I am no longer lurking in the shadows, the consequences will be dire.
Peter Griffin : Go on...
Death : That's it, what the hell do you see in him?
-
Peter Griffin : Hey, aren't you Richard Simmons?
[thug hits him with pool stick and Peter isn't hurt]
Peter Griffin : Hey, aren't you Richard Simmons' friend, Richard Simmons?
-
Lois Griffin : Peter, don't you see? As long as he's here, you can't die.
Peter Griffin : Go on...
Lois Griffin : That's it.
-
Death : You can't tell anyone that I'm here. For if you do, the consequences could be dire.
Peter Griffin : Go on...
Death : That's it.
[to Lois]
Death : God, what do you see in him?
-
Hitler : Today on Hitler we will talk to Hollywood hunk Christian Slater.
Hitler : So tell me. In your next film. We get to see your but.
Christian Slater : Well ugh? I guess you do.
Hitler : Can we see it right now?
Christian Slater : Um? sure I guess so.
Hitler : Oh Oh he's going to do it!
Hitler : If you are in the Los Angeles area and you want to get tickets to Hitler then call 213-Du Werdest Eine Krankenschwester Brauchen!
-
Peter Griffin : I can't kill those kids! Then I'll have nothing to watch on Wednesdays...
Peter Griffin : [slowly rolls eyes toward camera] ... except for the fine programming on Fox.
[smiles innocently]
-
Peter Griffin : Listen, I've had a good life. And you can always be proud of your father and all of his accomplishments.
Meg Griffin : What accomplishments?
Peter Griffin : Go to your room.
-
Peter Griffin : Oh, this sucks, Brian. Why should I have to pay this?. I mean, there's nothing wrong with me.
Brian Griffin : Yeah, it's a shame you're not dying.
Peter Griffin : Wait a second, that's it. They can't make a dead guy pay his bill. All I gotta do is write 'deceased' right here where it says 'name'. And where it says 'sex', I'll write 'no thanks, I'm dead'. It's bulletproof!
-
Stewie Griffin : You, heat up some gravy for our guest. My last helping of white meat was drier than Oscar Wilde.
-
Stewie Griffin : What the deuce?
-
Peter Griffin : Is this the price of my bill or my phone number?
Miss Jacobs : Your phone number.