- Professor Edward Bellows: Alright, Joanna. Now, you'll relax once I anoint you with these bat livers.
- Professor Edward Bellows: Hello?
- Joanna Loudon: Hello, everyone. I'm Joanna Loudon and this is my husband Dick.
- Professor Edward Bellows: I'm Professor Edward Bellows. And this is Nancy, Amy, Reese and Kendra.
- Joanna Loudon: Well, nice to meet all of you. Please, everyone, help yourselves to refreshments.
- Professor Edward Bellows: Oh, thank you.
- Dick Loudon: It may just be a hunch, but I think by the end of the evening, you and Kendra...
- [signals with his hands that they'll be friends as he walks into his office]
- Professor Edward Bellows: Your husband won't be joining us?
- Joanna Loudon: Well, he has friends. I mean, he's got work to do.
- Professor Edward Bellows: Well, shall we get started? Amy, why don't you bring us up to date on our last meeting?
- Amy: The meeting convened at 8 PM. The first order of business was to choose a date for our annual society dance, November 3rd. Is that alright with you, Joanna?
- Joanna Loudon: Fine.
- Amy: At 8:15, Reese read the treasurer's report, but then he thought he heard his wife calling him. So he went into the woods, turned into a raven and flew home.
- Joanna Loudon: You turned into a raven?
- Reese: It's the easiest one.
- Professor Edward Bellows: Thank you, Amy. And now I suppose the next order of business today should be to welcome Joanna Loudon
- [applause]
- Professor Edward Bellows: and to initiate her into our little circle.
- Joanna Loudon: [as they put a black veil on her] What's going on?
- Amy: It's just our initiation ceremony, Joanna. I mean, if you want to be a witch, you have to marry the devil, right?
- Joanna Loudon: What? Agh!
- Professor Edward Bellows: What's the matter? You don't like weddings?
- Joanna Loudon: Who are you people?
- Professor Edward Bellows: The Elm Street Society.
- Joanna Loudon: I mean, what are you?
- Professor Edward Bellows: Oh, a satanic cult. Everybody knows that.
- Joanna Loudon: I didn't.
- Professor Edward Bellows: Really? Amy, I told you that newspaper ad wasn't clear.
- Amy: Don't blame me. I laid all three versions of that ad on a bed of nightshade, and the sacred toad hopped right onto that one.
- Professor Edward Bellows: Oh, well then, Joanna must have misread it. Alright, Joanna. Now you'll relax once I anoint you with these bat livers.
- Joanna Loudon: Dick!
- Dick Loudon: [coming out of his office] What's going on?
- Joanna Loudon: These people are witches.
- Professor Edward Bellows: Gee, Joanna. You say that like it's a dirty word.
- Joanna Loudon: Out. Everybody, out. You too, out.
- Professor Edward Bellows: Joanna, give us a chance. You know, we're not so different than other people. We even have a credit union.
- Joanna Loudon: Out!