Quotes
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Roseanne Conner : [Jackie mentions that Fred overlooks vital areas in bed] You mean... he'll get in the elevator but he won't go down?
Leon Carp : Well, if I wasn't gay before, I certainly would be now.
Roseanne Conner : Well, if you wasn't gay before, a hell of a lot of guys owe you a big apology.
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Dan Conner : It's going to take years of us guys not talking to each other to get back to where we were.
Roseanne Conner : Well, why don't you all cut your tongues out? We know Fred's not using his.
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Becky Conner-Healy : Talking to David made me feel a lot better.
Roseanne Conner : I bet it made you feel a lot taller too.
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Roseanne Conner : It's one of the great things about being women, you know, we can talk intimately in a way that men can't. You know, sober.
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Roseanne Conner : I was up all night too.
Jackie Harris : Why?
Roseanne Conner : 'Cause Becky and Mark were having a big fight in the next room and it's hard to sleep when you're wearing a stethoscope.
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Roseanne Conner : So Becky shut Mark down. I wonder what his brain's going to do with all that extra blood.
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Dan Conner : [horrified at the discussion he and Fred had] Guess... what... happened... at... work... today.
Roseanne Conner : Everyone... talked... really... slow.
Dan Conner : HOW DARE YOU?
Roseanne Conner : BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT, THAT'S WHY!
Dan Conner : Do you know what I'm talking about?
Roseanne Conner : NO, BUT I DON'T LIKE YOUR TONE!
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Dan Conner : What happens in our bedroom is sacred, Roseanne.
Roseanne Conner : Oh yeah, that's in the Bible, right? A toe for a toe.
Dan Conner : How would you like it if I told everybody our business? Huh? How would you like it if I went around telling everyone that you, are not all that interested in sex anymore?
Roseanne Conner : Yeah, why don't you go around telling everyone how your wife constantly turns you down for sex? That would sure embarrass ME.
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Roseanne Conner : [drinking beer on the couch] Yeah you know, Dan's on my case saying I don't cuddle enough.
Becky Conner-Healy : Oh my God, cuddling?
[belches loudly]
Becky Conner-Healy : I hate it!
Jackie Harris : [smoking a cigar] I work all day, I come home, I want my dinner, a little zippity-do-dah, smack him on the ass and I'm out like a light.
Roseanne Conner : Yeah, I always take a couple more minutes with Dan to finish him off, you know, cuz otherwise I gotta lay there and listen to him gripe all night long.
