Roseanne (TV Series)

Home Is Where the Afghan Is (1996)

Sara Gilbert: Darlene Conner-Healy

Quotes 

• Beverly Harris : And he's not the only man like that! They're all cut from the same cloth.Which is why I don't particularly care for men! Frankly, to sleep with a man is to know how much you hate them! By the end of my marriage, the only way I could have sex with my husband was if I stopped off at the store and bought myself a Playboy first!

  [looks shocked at what she just said] 

  Darlene Conner-Healy : [after several reaction shots]  Well, I think Grandma's just outed herself!

  D.J. Conner : Oh God!

  [covers his face] 

  Nana Mary : I've always know it since she's a little girl. She always liked flannel.

• Jackie Harris : How're you doing, Darlene?

  Darlene Conner-Healy : Well I have morning sickness, evening sickness, roll down the car window when you drive sickness, my rings don't fit, my shoes don't fit, my clothes don't fit, and if you have time to sit a spell, I'll tell you about my brand new hemorrhoids.

  David Healy : Takes about 10 minutes.