Roseanne (TV Series)
Homecoming (1993)
Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner
Photos
Quotes
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Roseanne : [to Becky on the first episode featuring Sarah Chalke in the role] Watch it, young lady. You can be replaced.
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Roseanne : Becky, I want to be on your side, tell me that Mark cheats on you or beats you up or something, because I got nothing.
Becky : Mark would never do that. I just wish we could go back to the way things were, when I lived here.
Roseanne : So you want to divorce your husband, so you can date him? It doesn't work that way, Becky.
Becky : I knew you wouldn't get it.
Roseanne : No, I get it. Mark is out there working his butt off to save money so his spoiled immature brat of a wife can go back to school.
Becky : Why are you getting mad at me?
Roseanne : Because you are making *me*, defend *Mark*!
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Roseanne : [filling in for Dan's buddies as he rehearses his speech] Show us your boobs!
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D.J. Conner : [after taking everybody's coats, comes in the kitchen with a cigar] Hey Mom, look, I got a tip!
Roseanne : Oh just what you need, something else to stunt your growth.
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Roseanne : [after Dan shows everybody a pair of her underwear from their first date] Hey, wait a minute, those aren't even mine!
Dan Conner : [changing the subject] Rosie, let's go in the kitchen and get some snacks for everybody.
Roseanne : [in the kitchen] Dan, this better be YOUR underwear or you're in BIG trouble.
Dan Conner : I stole them from my mom, please don't tell her!
Roseanne : Dan, we didn't have sex until our second date! This totally ruins my reputation!
