Roseanne (TV Series)

Past Imperfect (1994)

Laurie Metcalf: Jackie Harris

Quotes 

• Fred : How many men did you date before we met?

  Jackie Harris : Well, do you mean dated at all, or dated seriously?

  Fred : Well, oh, I mean seriously.

  Jackie Harris : Okay, I have to say... just a few.

  Fred : Good. It's not that I mind if you slept with lots of guys...

  Jackie Harris : [chuckles]  Oh, well slept with!

  Jackie Harris : [chuckles harder]  Well...

  Jackie Harris : [soberly]  That's not what you asked me.

  Fred : No I guess it wasn't.

  Jackie Harris : [chuckling]  Well, Fred, don't worry... it's not that many. I'd - I'd saaay - three a year.

  Fred : Since you were, what, eighteen?

  Jackie Harris : [thinks]  Okay, we'll go with that.

  Fred : [looking shocked]  Oh, oh wow.

  Jackie Harris : [getting defensive]  Well, Fred! It's not *that* many! Three a year for 20 years is, 60 - wow.

  Fred : Gawd... I don't even *know* 60 people.

  Jackie Harris : Well, I didn't *know* all of them.

• Jackie Harris : [at Jackie's, Fred and Jackie are arguing, Roseanne is there, and the baby starts crying]  Aw, baby, what's the matter?

  Roseanne Conner : What do you mean, "what's the matter"? Can't you imagine how scary this is to him? Where - the big, fuzzy thing is yelling at the milk machine?

• Jackie Harris : [to Fred, cynically]  I slept with 60 men, most of them separately.

  Roseanne Conner : [coming in]  I can vouch for that, I was there that night selling tickets.

• Jackie Harris : [after revealing she slept with 60 guys while Fred only slept with 3 women]  Why does it matter to a guy if the woman has more experience?

  Roseanne Conner : Because then he knows that she knows that he is not very good.

  Jackie Harris : Fred's good, he's really good, especially considering it's *just* the three.