Roseanne (TV Series)

Skeleton in the Closet (1994)

Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner

Photos 

Quotes 

• Roseanne : Hey Dan, if you're still gay, I could go for a mimosa and some eggs florentine.

  Dan : I don't cook for you. I'm Fred's bitch.

• [Roseanne and Jackie visit Bev's salon and spot a familiar-looking wig on a dummy] 

  Jackie Harris : Roseanne, that is Mom's hair! Our mom wears a wig. You think she's bald?

  Roseanne : No way.

  Jackie Harris : If she's bald, that means that we could go bald. This is her hair. Look at this.

  [dons the wig and begins imitating Bev] 

  Jackie Harris : Oh, Roseanne! A woman of your size shouldn't wear horizontal stripes! You should wear black or stay home. And another thing, dear: I don't mean to alarm you, but I think your little D.J. might be retarded!

• Roseanne : Hey! Our lodge parties were not lame. The cops had to come every year.

• Roseanne : I told you that that hair could not be real. Look at that. Even William Shatner would make fun of *that* piece.