Scrubs (TV Series)
My Rite of Passage (2006)
Aloma Wright: Nurse Roberts
Quotes
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Janitor : [proving a point to JD] Everybody kisses the ass of the person above them.
Dr. Kelso : [to Dr. Mickhead] I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.
[Mickhead fake-laughs at Dr. Kelso's pun]
Dr. Mickhead : [to Nurse Roberts] I was going to be a psychiatrist, but I was a-freud.
[Nurse Roberts fake-laughs at Dr. Mickhead's pun]
Nurse Roberts : [to cafeteria worker] I was going to be a doctor... But I didn't have the patience.
[cafeteria worker fake-laughs at Nurse Roberts' pun]
Cafeteria Worker : [to homeless guy] I was gonna be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.
[homeless guy fake-laughs at Cafeteria Worker's pun]
Homeless Guy : [to his dog] You know, I was gonna have her bring you some chicken, but it was foul.
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Dr. Perry Cox : Oh. Would everyone please watch this? Because nobody, but nobody, cries like Sammy. He leads off with the Chin Quiver.
[Thompson does so]
Dr. Perry Cox : Then he goes right to the Look Away.
[Thompson drops his eyes, and waves off Jordan's hand on his shoulder]
Dr. Perry Cox : He tries to hold it back but he just can't because there's too much pain!
[Thompson's body shudders]
Dr. Perry Cox : And then finally, he squeezes out one single... tear
[mock cries and leads the applause]
Dr. Perry Cox : ... Ladies and gentlemen, that is some quality Crack Addict Theatre!
Dr. Christopher Turk : I can't watch this.
Nurse Roberts : Then move your big, bald biscuit head! Some of us don't have cable.
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Ted Buckland : These two new nurses have wonderful breasts.
Todd Quinlan : Hey, they have names!
[pointing to each breasts]
Todd Quinlan : Tina, Marge, Sloppy and Mr Snuggles.
Nurse Roberts : Sloppy is bigger than Mr Snuggles.
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Dr. Christopher Turk : I can't watch this.
Nurse Roberts : Then move your big, bald, biscuit head! Some of us don't have cable.