Star Trek (TV Series)

This Side of Paradise (1967)

William Shatner: Captain James Tiberius 'Jim' Kirk

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Quotes 

• Dr. McCoy : Well, that's the second time man's been thrown out of paradise.

  Captain James T. Kirk : No, no, Bones, this time we walked out on our own. Maybe we weren't meant for paradise. Maybe we were meant to fight our way through, struggle, claw our way up, scratch for every inch of the way. Maybe we can't stroll to the music of the lute. We must march to the sound of drums.

• Capt. Kirk : [Everybody is now safely back aboard Starship 'Enterprise']  We haven't heard much from you about Omicron Ceti III, Mr. Spock.

  Spock : I have little to say about it, captain. Except that... for the first time in my life... I was happy.

• Spock : Captain, striking a fellow officer is a court-martial offense.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Well, if we're both in the brig, who's going to build the subsonic transmitter?

  Spock : That is quite logical, captain.

• Capt. Kirk : We're evacuating all colonists to Starbase 27.

  Spock : No, I don't think so.

  Capt. Kirk : You don't think so, WHAT?

  Spock : I don't think so, SIR.

• Captain James T. Kirk : I had to make you angry enough to shake off their influence. That's the answer, Mr. Spock.

  Spock : That may be correct, Captain, but trying to initiate a brawl with over 500 crewmen and colonists is hardly logical.

  Captain James T. Kirk : I had something else in mind.

• Captain James T. Kirk : [after enticing a fight with Spock]  Anyhow, I don't know what you're so mad about. It isn't every first officer who gets to belt his captain... several times.

• Capt. Kirk : [to Spock]  All right, you mutinous, disloyal, computerized half-breed. We'll see about you deserting my ship.

• Capt. Kirk : You belong in a circus, Spock, not a starship - right next to the dog-faced boy.

• Capt. Kirk : [after speaking over communicator to a blissed-out Spock]  The frequency is open, but he doesn't answer.

  McCoy : That didn't sound at all like Spock, Jim.

  Capt. Kirk : No? I thought you said you might like him if he mellowed a little.

  McCoy : I didn't say that!

  Capt. Kirk : You said that, I...

  McCoy : Not exactly! And he might be in trouble.

• Capt. Kirk : I said get back to your station.

  Lt. Leslie : No, sir.

  Capt. Kirk : This is mutiny, mister.

  Lt. Leslie : Yes, sir. It is.

• Capt. Kirk : My orders are to remove all the colonists and that's exactly what I intend to do, with or without your help.

  Elias Sandoval : Without, I should think.

  Dr. McCoy : [after Elias walks off]  Would you like to use a butterfly net on him, Jim?

• Captain James T. Kirk : [narrating]  Captain's log, stardate 3417.7. Except for myself, all crew personnel have transported to the surface of the planet, mutinied. Lieutenant Uhura has effectively sabotaged the communications station. I can only contact the surface of the planet. The ship can be maintained in orbit for several months, but even with automatic controls, I cannot pilot her alone. In effect, I am marooned here. I'm beginning to realize... just how big this ship really is. How quiet. I don't know how to get my crew back, how to counteract the effect of the spores. I don't know what I can offer against... paradise.

• Capt. Kirk : Mr. Spock, there were 150 men, women and children in that colony. What're the chances of survivors?

  Spock : Absolutely none, Captain. Berthold Rays are such a recent discovery, we do not yet have full knowledge of their nature. It is known, however, that living animal tissue disintegrates under exposure. Sandoval's group could not have survived after three years.