Psych (TV Series)
Scary Sherry: Bianca's Toast (2007)
Dulé Hill: Burton Guster
Quotes
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Henry Spencer : Scary Sherry Kratic was rehabilitated and I'm pretty sure she's married and living in Fresno. Come on, guys, give me some more credit here! I have no idea how that ridiculous urban legend got started in the first place.
[Henry walks away]
Shawn Spencer : [to Gus] You got a big ass mouth.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : I wanted to keep it a secret! You're the one who was broadcasting it at the lunch table.
[pause]
Shawn Spencer : I can't believe this.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : We actually started an urban legend.
Shawn Spencer : That's dope!
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : Okay, Shawn, listen to me. If I'm going to go back to that creepy-ass institution that I've been afraid to drive by since I was nine, there's going to be some rules and regulations.
Shawn Spencer : Gus, this is no time for fun and...
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Listen, Shawn! I will not enter a room first. I will not enter a room last. I will not investigate any suspicious noises or go looking for a fuse box. And you will not, under any circumstances, leave me by myself without a weapon of some sort. Do you understand and agree to my terms?
Shawn Spencer : I'm not prepared to negotiate...
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Do you understand, Shawn?
Shawn Spencer : Yes! I do, yes!
Burton 'Gus' Guster : All right. Let's go help Juliet.
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Poppy : Growing up in Edinburgh we had a basset hound that used to hoot like a snowy owl.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : No kidding. What'd you name it?
Poppy : We just called him Basset Hound. My sister always used to call him Uncle Jimmy. I never knew why.
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Betty : Ask him.
Eden : You ask him.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : What, girls? What do you want to ask me? Don't be nervous. I put on my pants one leg at a time, just like you.
[pause]
Betty : Okay. Did you really play Bud on "The Cosby Show"?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : [frowns] Bud? Who told you that?
Eden : I knew I recognized you!
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Wait... wait, I'm not...
Bianca : Oh, come on. Don't be modest, Gus. You are totally Bud!
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Shawn?
Shawn Spencer : Yo!
Burton 'Gus' Guster : You believe this?
Shawn Spencer : Uh, no, I didn't... I didn't catch any of it, *Bud*.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Stop telling people that my name is Bud!
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : [on the phone] You bet.
[hangs up]
Burton 'Gus' Guster : That was her.
Poppy : Who?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Mrs. Pickles. She's home.
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Shawn Spencer : Gus, what's the word?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : That would be "mum".
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[Gus is trying to distract Poppy while Shawn sneaks into the house]
Burton 'Gus' Guster : [fake sobbing] Mrs. Pickles!
Poppy : There, there Diandre, your Mrs. Picles will come back to you.
[Gus sees Shawn eating a cupcake and begins to "sob" louder]
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : I shoulda had you today. The Warmburner was in full effect.
Shawn Spencer : Okay, you cannot have a shot called 'The Warmburner.'
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Why not?
Shawn Spencer : Because it's my strikeout pitch in wiffleball, dude. Pick another name.
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Shawn Spencer : Hey, buddy, good news. I just got a fax confirming that the city of Santa Barbara has unanimously voted you Exorcist Of The Year.
[Shawn claps]
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Okay, make all your little jokes. But I know who was right on my ass all the way to the car.
Shawn Spencer : I had no choice. You were my ride home.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Shawn, you were screaming, too.
Shawn Spencer : Yes, I was yelling, "Gus, stop! Let's be brave!"