Robot Chicken (TV Series)
Sausage Fest (2006)
Elijah Wood: William David Reynolds, Bailiff
Quotes
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God : Ah, here it is. The book of your life.
[Hands William a book]
William David Reynolds : Wow!
[takes a look inside to find the pages blank]
William David Reynolds : Huh?
God : Just ask the book any question about your life, and the answer shall be revealed.
William David Reynolds : Uh... how many days did I live?
[the book displays 11,972 days]
William David Reynolds : Cool! How many hours is that?
[the book displays 287,326 hours]
God : It's not a calculator. This is the book of your life.
God : Ooh, how many times did I hear the song "I Touch Myself" by The Divinyls?
[the book displays 106 times]
William David Reynolds : Huh, I thought it would be more then that.
[the book displays 'Nope']
God : Why not ask the book about your actions on Earth and how they impacted your loved one?
William David Reynolds : In a minute. Book, if I made bricks out of all the poop I ever pooped out and built a 6-foot high wall out of the bricks, how long could I make that wall?
[the book displays 2.7 miles]
God : This is ridiculous. Book, tell this man how many moments of happiness he gave his friends and family.
William David Reynolds : Boring! Book, could I have filled the Empire State Building with my own poop?
God : Don't answer that, book!
William David Reynolds : I want to know!
God : No!