American Dad! (TV Series)

Four Little Words (2007)

Seth MacFarlane: Stan Smith, Roger the Alien, Greg Corbin, Alan Greenspan

Photos 

Quotes 

• Steve Smith : [Steve and Hayley call Roger out on his identity fraud]  Roger, we can't keep doing this.

  Hayley Smith : Yeah, I mean, it's stealing.

  Roger : Oh, oh, excuse me, are you an ethicist? Are you? Is there an ethicist in the house?

  Ethicist : I'm an ethicist.

  Roger : Well, screw you, I'm Kevin Bacon!

• Stan Smith : [to Bullock]  Sir, you killed your date? What in the name of Phil Spector happened?

• Timmy : [about Roger]  There he is, Mommy! The monster!

  Timmy's mom : Timmy, it's not nice to point.

  Timmy : But he doesn't have a nose.

  Timmy's mom : He can't help it if he's deformed.

  Roger : Deformed? I'm just as God made me, madam!

• Stan Smith : Francine was dangerously close to saying the four words I never ever want to hear from her again: "I told you so."

• Stan Smith : I cannot hear those words again and I'll do whatever it takes to keep her from saying them. As God as my witness!

  [lightning strikes] 

  Klaus : Weird. Not a cloud in the sky.

  Stan Smith : Yeah, I know. Must be heat lightning.

• Roger : Mirror, mirror on the wall. Let's see how you like it on the floor!

  [smashes the mirror] 

• Hayley Smith : Hey, Roger, we have something that might cheer you up.

  Roger : Don't look at me. I'm hideous! I'm a hideous monster.

  Steve Smith : Not anymore.

  Roger : Rick Baker's Celebrity Nose Kit?

  Steve Smith : They're latex copies of actual celebrities noses.

  Roger : [gasps]  Just like porn stars do with their genitals.

• Stan Smith : Francine and I are going to have the maritals. I just hope I don't pre-marital in the car on the way home.

• Stan Smith : Look, Francine. Your friendship is dead and buried, buried behind the Olive Garden. The one in Richmond.

• Francine Smith : I'm worried about Melinda. I went by her apartment to apologize and she wasn't there.

  Stan Smith : How odd.

  Francine Smith : I don't think she ever made it home.

  Stan Smith : H-h-how, how can you be sure?

  Francine Smith : There was a Thai menu hanging from her doorknob which doesn't add up because she loves Thai food and she hates doorknob clutter.

• Roger : It's time for me to cut loose. Footloose! So why don't you two get lost before I kick my Sunday shoe up your ass?

• Francine Smith : [to Stan]  You made me think I was a murderer? Do you have any idea what a nightmare you put me through? I prayed to a freaking elephant! How am I gonna explain that to Jesus?

  Stan Smith : I'm... I'm sorry.

  Francine Smith : You're sorry? Do you know what super diarrhea is, Stan? Do you know how much you've screwed up my life?

  Stan Smith : Francine, I know I've done some terrible things, but I'll fix it. I'll fix everything, I swear.

  Francine Smith : What about Sanjit? I don't want an Indian baby! I don't even like Indian food!