The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Luminous Fish Effect (2007)

Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Sheldon : I can't believe he fired me.

  Leonard : Well, you did call him a glorified high-school science teacher whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts.

  Sheldon : In my defense, I prefaced that by saying, "with all due respect."

• Sheldon : Mom, what are you doing here?

  Mary : Leonard called me.

  Sheldon : I know, but why?

  Leonard : Because one of the great minds of the 21st Century is raising glow-in-the-dark fish and weaving serapes.

  Sheldon : This is not a serape. This is a poncho! A serape is open to the sides, a poncho is closed, this is a poncho! And neither is a reason to call someone's mother!

• [first lines] 

  Sheldon : You know, I've been thinking about time travel again.

  Leonard : Why? Did you hit a roadblock with invisibility?

  Sheldon : Put it on the back burner. Anyway, it occurs to me, if I ever did perfect a time machine I would just go into the past and give it to myself, thus eliminating the need for me to invent it in the first place.

  Leonard : Interesting.

  Sheldon : Yeah, it really takes the pressure off.

• Leonard : Here comes our new boss. Be polite.

  Dr. Eric Gablehauser : [approaching]  Hi, fellas. Eric Gablehauser.

  Howard Wolowitz : [shaking hands]  Howard Wolowitz.

  Dr. Eric Gablehauser : Howard. Nice to meet you.

  [turning to Sheldon] 

  Dr. Eric Gablehauser : And you are?

  Sheldon : [shaking hands]  An actual real scientist.

  [turning to Leonard] 

  Sheldon : How was that?

• Leonard : Howard brought a date?

  Sheldon : A plausible explanation is that his work in robotics has made an incredible leap forward.

• Leonard : Hey, how did it go?

  Sheldon : I got my job back.

  Leonard : Really? What happened?

  Sheldon : I'm not quite sure. It involves a part of the human experience that has always eluded me.

  Leonard : That narrows it down.

• Leonard : So... fish.

  Sheldon : I read an article about Japanese scientists who inserted DNA from luminous jellyfish into other animals and I thought, hey, fish night lights.

• Mary Cooper : I remember one summer when he was 13. He built a small nuclear reactor in the shed and told everybody he was gonna provide free electricity for the whole town. Well, the only problem was, he had no what you call fissionable materials. Anyway, when he went on the internets to get some, a man from the government come by and sat him down real gentle and told him it's against the law to have yellow-cake uranium in a shed.

  Penny : What happened?

  Mary Cooper : Well, poor boy had a fit. Locked himself in his room and built a sonic death ray.

  Leonard Hofstadter : A death ray?

  Mary Cooper : Well that's what he called it. Didn't even slow down the neighbor kids. It pissed our dog off to no end.

• Sheldon : The last department party, Professor Finkleday cornered me and talked about spelunking for 45 minutes.

  Leonard : Yes, I was there.

  Sheldon : Do you know what's interesting about caves, Leonard?

  Leonard : What?

  Sheldon : Nothing.

• Sheldon Cooper : How's this: Pleased to meet you, Dr. Gablehauser. How fortunate for you that the University's chosen to hire you despite the fact that you've done no original research in 25 years and instead have written a series of popular books that reduced the great concepts of science to a series of anecdotes, each one dumbed down to accommodate the duration of an average bowel movement... mahalo.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Mahalo's a nice touch.

• Leonard Hofstadter : What happened to your scrambled egg research?

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh, that was a dead end. Scrambled eggs are as good as they're ever going to be.

• Koothrappali : Oh, God, look at this buffet. I love America.

  Leonard : Don't they have buffets in India?

  Koothrappali : Of course, but it's all Indian food. Try and find a bagel in Mumbai to save your life. Schmear me.

• Leonard : [He and an older woman come upstairs]  Thanks for coming on such short notice.

  Mary : [Quietly]  You did the right thing calling.

  Leonard : I didn't know what to do. He's lost all focus. Every day he's got a new obsession.

  [They enter the apartment and see Sheldon at work at a loom] 

  Leonard : This is a particularly disturbing one.

  Sheldon : [He turns around on that and is shocked to see her]  Mommy?

  Mary : [Walks up and hugs him]  Hi baby!

  [as she does, Sheldon looks at Leonard and mouths, "You called my mother?" to which Leonard has a guilt look on his face]