- Jeff Fischer: [after Hayley wakes up screaming from a bad dream she's having] Babe, you're having a bad dream.
- [Hayley breaks Jeff's arm in her sleep and he screams]
- Hayley Smith: [as she wakes up] Jeff, you're having a bad dream.
- Jeff Fischer: No, I'm not. You broke my arm.
- Stan Smith: [to Bullock about Hayley] Sir, I have to tell her it's not just a stupid dream. She needs to know about "Project Daycare."
- Avery Bullock: That you let her be brainwashed and trained as a sleeper agent for the CIA? Oh, yes, that's sure to put a puff in her petticoat.
- Stan Smith: I never meant to hurt her. I thought it'd be fun to have a father-daughter spy team.
- Avery Bullock: Yes, that does sound like fun, but as we learned from "Alias", the idea gets tired very quickly.
- Roger the Alien: My name is Braff Zacklin. I was an international racecar driver. One day, a baby carriage rolled out onto the track so I swerved into the retaining wall to avoid it. The car burst into flames, but the baby miraculously survived. I was that baby.
- Steve Smith: That doesn't make any sense.
- Roger the Alien: I'm Braff Zacklin!
- Stan Smith: Klaus, I think I might have done a bad thing. I kind of brainwashed Hayley.
- Klaus: Yeah, I'm sort of reading.
- Stan Smith: She's a sleeper agent and, well, I activated her. She'll do whatever I tell her. Of course, I feel terrible about taking away her ability to think for herself, but it's only for seven days. Then I have to deactivate her or she'll lose her free will. So I've only got until Saturday at 7:35 to make sure she stays on the path to happiness. I know it seems wrong, but it's for her own good. So that's okay, right? What do you think?
- Klaus: I think you only talk to me when there's no one else to turn to. You don't care what I think. You just need to hear yourself talk. I think you're a selfish bastard and I think you can go to hell.
- Francine Smith: Something weird is going on, Stan. Hayley's become a totally different person. It's almost as if something's been done to her brain. Like her brain's been put through some sort of cleaning process. Like it's been scrubbed or rubbed vigorously with soap and water. Brain scoured? Mind polished?
- Stan Smith: Hayley, I just want you to know, everything I did, I did because I wanted to make you happy.
- Hayley Smith: I am happy, Dad. I'm not just gaining a husband. I'm losing a father.
- Stan Smith: [as he aims a shotgun at Hayley] Hayley, don't make me have to...
- [Hayley takes the shotgun from him and aims it at him]
- Stan Smith: ... spare your life because you're a part of the family!
- Klaus: [to Stan] Well, the doctor says you'll have some memory loss, but I'll be by your side through every step of your recovery, my friend.
- Stan Smith: Who's the talking fish?