American Dad! (TV Series)

Office Spaceman (2008)

Seth MacFarlane: Stan Smith, Roger the Alien

Photos 

Quotes 

• Stan Smith : [after finding the photo of Roger in the paper]  How did this happen?

  Roger : I have no idea. I leave the house in disguise, but six Rob Roys later, things happen that I can't be responsible for. Like buying this puzzle. Why the hell did I buy this puzzle?

  [begins tearing the nearly complete puzzle apart] 

  Roger : I hate puppies! Get out of that tea cup! That cup is for tea!

• [Roger and Stan pretend to meet for the first time at the CIA] 

  Roger : What's your name?

  Stan Smith : [through clenched teeth]  Stan.

  Roger : Hmm, I already know a 'Stan'. I'm going to call you Mortimer. Now, run and fix me a coffee.

  [Stan doesn't move] 

  Roger : Today, Mortimer James!

  [turns to Bullock] 

  Roger : I add his middle name when I'm disappointed in him.

• Roger : I'm not ready to die! Not before Shatner!

• Avery Bullock : I need a new team leader.

  Jackson : Sir, I'm your man. I will not rest until the alien and all his accomplices are brought to just...

  Stan Smith : [to Bullock; pointing at Jackson]  He told me he hates you.

  Avery Bullock : What? Jackson, is this true?

  Jackson : ...Yes.

  Avery Bullock : Get out of my sight! Smith, how do you feel about me?

  Stan Smith : You're okay, I guess.

  Avery Bullock : Good, then you're the man for this job.

• Stan Smith : I just feel so violated by the fact that that thing was inside of me. It would mean a lot to me if I could have the first cut.

  Avery Bullock : All yours, Smith.

  Roger : [screaming]  No! Don't put that mask on me! I'm not ready to die! Not before Shatner!

  Stan Smith : I'm doing what has to be done.

  Roger : [screams as Stan turns on the gas and is knocked out]  Huh. He reversed the gas. Son of a bitch Superman 2'ed me!