American Dad! (TV Series)

Daddy Queerest (2009)

Seth MacFarlane: Stan Smith, Roger the Alien, Greg Corbin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Stan Smith : You mind if I come over and throw the ol' pigskin around with your dad before you tell him you're a turd burglar?

• Stan Smith : [drunk]  Francine, you need to come home right now. Greg was mean to me!

  Tank Bates : What're you talking about, Fruit loop She's Terry's girlfriend.

  Stan Smith : No, she's not. She's my wife! Greg is Terry's boyfriend!

  Tank Bates : ...What?

  Stan Smith : Terry and Greg are in love! Your son is gay!

  [Terry faints in an overly-cliched manner. His father, confused, catches him] 

  Stan Smith : See? That's not how a straight guy faints. This is how a straight guy faints!

  [collapses forward and lands flat on his face] 

• Francine Smith : [to Stan]  How come every time we go to a party you push me in the pool!

  Stan Smith : Everyone's always afraid to be the first one in the pool. You're that girl. You're the party starter.

  Francine Smith : My purse tampons were floating in the water!

  Stan Smith : People were impressed by how big they got.

• Greg Corbin : Your book was so inspiring, Mr. Mandela. It made me want to become journalist.

  Nelson Mandela : I am so happy it spoke to you.

  Stan Smith : I don't know what book he's talking about, but I love your movies. Especially "The Bucket List." Whew, it got me. It got me.

  Greg Corbin : Stan, I think you're mistaken.

  Stan Smith : [to Nelson Mandela]  Aren't you Morgan Freeman?

  Greg Corbin : This is Nelson Mandela. Why did you think I was calling him Mr. Mandela?

  Stan Smith : I thought it was one of Freeman's many nicknames like Captain Morgan or Freckles.

• Stan Smith : [after Tank leaves Greg and Terry's house after he learns that Terry is gay]  He's fine. He's probably just wondering how two guys can do it. He'll calm down when I explain it's like cramming together two puzzle pieces that don't quite fit.

  Terry Bates : Shut up, Stan! You've done enough.

  [he and Greg walk away] 

  Stan Smith : [to Francine]  They're fine.

  Francine Smith : I can't believe you!

  [walks away] 

  Stan Smith : She's fine.