Jerome Is the New Black
- Episode aired Nov 22, 2009
- TV-14
- 30m
The guys find a new black friend to join their group, until Peter finds out that he slept with Lois. Meanwhile, Brian tries to find out why Quagmire hates him and tries to make amends.The guys find a new black friend to join their group, until Peter finds out that he slept with Lois. Meanwhile, Brian tries to find out why Quagmire hates him and tries to make amends.The guys find a new black friend to join their group, until Peter finds out that he slept with Lois. Meanwhile, Brian tries to find out why Quagmire hates him and tries to make amends.
- Peter Griffin
- (voice)
- …
- Lois Griffin
- (voice)
- Chris Griffin
- (voice)
- Meg Griffin
- (voice)
- Horace
- (voice)
- Kevin Connolly
- (voice)
- Clark
- (voice)
- …
- Man
- (voice)
- Jerome
- (voice)
- …
- Dean Martin
- (voice)
- Brenda Quagmire
- (voice)
- …
- Joe Swanson
- (voice)
Storyline
Did you know
- TriviaThe colored circle in the center of the screen shown in one scene when Peter, Lois, and Jerome are in the kitchen, just before a commercial break is one of the "wait" cursors from Apple's Mac OS X.
- GoofsStewie says that he's watched "Tommy Boy" the day before, and that he he thought Chris Farley had fallen down the hill as a result of Stewie tapping on the glass of the TV. Chris Farley never fell down a hill in "Tommy Boy." The movie referenced was "Black Sheep".
- Quotes
Glen Quagmire: You wanna maybe just go?
Brian Griffin: Quagmire, come on. I'm really trying hard here.
Glen Quagmire: Who asked you to try hard?
Brian Griffin: Nobody, but I'm trying to establish a friendship with you. All I've done is try to be nice to you and you still don't like me. How can you not like me?
Glen Quagmire: ...Okay, I'll tell ya. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife, the man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. And you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing, you always say "Oh, I'll get you later," but later never comes. And what really bothers me, is you pretend you're this deep guy who loves women for their souls when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it. I don't buy them a copy of "Catcher in the Rye" and then lecture them with some seventh grade interpretation of how Holden Caulfield is some profound intellectual. He wasn't! He was a spoiled brat! And that's why you like him so much, he's you! God, you're pretentious! And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer even though you're terrible. You know, I should've known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would've known there's no "a" in the word "definite." And I think what I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda, how we should "legalize pot, man," how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. Well, what have you done to help? I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian. Never seen you down there! You wanna help? Grab a ladle! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ! Oh, wait! You don't believe in Jesus Christ or any religion for that matter, because "religion is for idiots!" Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone? You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father! How's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that, all of it, if you weren't such a bore! That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic bore.
[sighs]
Glen Quagmire: Well, see ya, Brian! Thanks for the fucking steak!
- Alternate versionsSyndication cuts out the second "Black Jesus" cutaway gag (although a clear, verbal reference to Black Jesus around the title that the cutaway would have began remains.)
- ConnectionsFeatured in WatchMojo: Top 10 Darkest Moments on Family Guy (2019)
"You constantly hit on your best friends wife"
Ok well guess what Glen, so do you! You spy on her like a creep and keep pictures of her in your house. Brian had one episode where he tried to sleep with Lois. Since then he actually isn't hitting on her anymore. Oh by the way didn't you also sleep with your other friends wife?? Seems a little hypocritical...
"All you do is date bimbos"
Brian dated Jillian, who yes, is a total bimbo. But he's dated a ton of intelligent women. Literally dated a 50 year old woman two episodes before this one. He was on some bachelor show and found the woman he was into was smarter than he thought. Brian values intelligence.
"I date women for their bodies but at least I'm honest about it"
You're literally a rapist. You don't date women. You take them to your house, roofie them, and then use weird contraptions in your house to force them to give you oral sex. We've seen this when Peter and friends are at his bachelor pad house.
"What have you done to help?? I work down at the soup kitchen Brian, never seen you down there!"
Brian and Stewie literally got weed legalized in Quohog through a catchy dance number. Then de-legalized with another song and dance routine. Have YOU ever done that Quagmire? I don't think so.
"Oh wait you don't believe in Jesus Christ!"
JESUS IS LITERALLY ON THE SHOW. How the hell could Brian NOT believe in a character WHO HE AND HIS WHOLE FAMILY HAVE MET SEVERAL TIMES?!
"You failed college twice!"
Your best friend, who is legally mentally handicapped, failed the second grade and had to go back and repeat a bunch of grades, never hear you calling him out for that.
"See ya Brian! Thanks for the f***ing steak"
After Glen berates Brian in a thoroughly unpleasant and rude monologue he leaves. Seems to be a nice restaurant. He doesn't leave any money on the table. Didn't he just talk about how Brian mooches off of people and says "I'll get you later" but never pays them back. So now you're gonna just make Brian pay for everything Glen. That's ok??
Let's talk about you Quagmire. You hold women hostage against their will. You're a flat out rapist something you have admitted to on NUMEROUS occasions. You're incredibly transphobic. You're racist (which to be fair so is Brian, but even Brian notices when he's being racist and is trying to work on it.) In the previous episode you gave up your daughter because you weren't man enough to be a father despite being sixty years old and despite her being your total responsibility because you were too stupid and irresponsible to wear a condom. You then mentioned that you don't want her to go to "sand people" You tag women and treat them like objects. You told Jerome you were keeping a woman in your basement and needed to feed her. Brian was a actually trying to mend the relationship. But Quagmire proves to be the most insufferable, offensive, despicable, hypocritical, whiniest, pathetic character on the show.
Also here's one last thing. Your best friend, Peter Griffin MURDERED YOUR CAT. AND YOU ARE STILL BEST FRIENDS WITH HIM. But yeah no, screw Brian for being pretentious.
Shut up, Glen.
- pledgerock
- Mar 20, 2022