- Kenny West: I'm trying to get my daughter a decent education so she doesn't grow up to be in one of my videos.
- Kenny West: [to Cleveland] Thanks again for watching Candice. I wish more grown men I barely knew would offer to look after my four-year-old daughter.
- Cleveland Brown: [after discovering Kenny and Candice sleeping in Kenny's car] Kenny, you're... you're homeless.
- Kenny West: Shh! Man, not in front of my kid. I told her that cars were houses and houses were cars, so she just thinks we're car-less.
- Donna Tubbs: Cleveland, I love you and I mean this in the best possible way, but any 19-year-old who has your life should kill himself.
- Donna Tubbs: [to Cleveland] I'll always be your first lady.
- Cleveland Brown: Not to brag, but you're more like my sixth lady.
- Cleveland Brown: [to Kenny] Hey, you should bring Candice over for a playdate.
- Kenny West: Hmm. That's actually not a bad idea. I got a gig this afternoon anyway.
- Cleveland Brown: I'll treat her like she's one of my own and I mean my own, not one of my stepkids. Sometimes I forget to feed them.
- Kenny West: [to Donna] Hey, Miss Tubbs. I got you a little thank you gift for letting me and Candice crash at your place.
- [gives her a bottle of wine]
- Donna Tubbs: Oh, my God. "Tyler Perry Presents Wine."
- Cleveland Brown: They say it's rich and super fruity and not complex at all.
- Holt Richter: [to Kenny] Kenny West. Caught you at the county fair. Yeah, I listen to rap. Got a De La Soul CD in my car. Do a little beatboxing. You don't wanna hear it unless you do. You probably do.
- [starts beatboxing quite poorly]
- Kenny West: I'm really not glad I heard that.
- Cleveland Brown: [bursts into the bedroom while Donna is asleep] Donna, wake up! The house is on fire! Rallo's dead!
- Donna Tubbs: [jumps out of bed] What? Oh, my God, no! My baby! My baby!
- Cleveland Brown: Ha-ha-ha. Just kidding.
- Kenny West: Cleveland, you're fired.
- Cleveland Brown: What?
- Kenny West: I''m sorry, but the book I read said if you've got bad news, come right out and say it. No, you're supposed to first give them a fake compliment, then the bad news.
- Cleveland Brown: Oh.
- Kenny West: You've lost weight and you're fired.
- Cleveland Brown: Well, at least I've lost weight.
- Candice West: [When Kenny drops his daughter off at school] Bye, Daddy.
- Kenny West: Touch the sky, baby.
- Cleveland Brown: [while on the news] Barack Obama doesn't care about black people.
- [Everyone is shocked at his comment]
- Kenny West: [to Cleveland] What the fuck were you thinking?
- Cleveland Brown: I don't know. The lights, the camera. I got nervous.
- Rallo Tubbs: [while at a restaurant] Attention, men. If your ladies are in the bathroom and you wish for just once in your life you had the cajones to just get up and leave, follow me.
- Cleveland Brown: [about Barack Obama] You know what, Donna? He may live in the White House, but I'd rather live in the Brown house.
- Donna Tubbs: I'd rather live in the White House.
- Cleveland Brown: Yeah, me too.