American Dad! (TV Series)

The Unbrave One (2012)

Seth MacFarlane: Stan Smith, Roger the Alien, Greg Corbin, Glenn Quagmire

Quotes 

• Francine Smith : Stan, I'm late for my period.

  Stan Smith : Maybe if you jump up and down... get things started.

• Roger : Uh yeah, Steve, I'm a professional film editor, I can do anything. Tyler Perry's movies are actually quite good before I get my hands on them.

• Stan Smith : [to Francine]  So did you take the pregnancy test?

  Francine Smith : I did.

  Stan Smith : And? Am I going to be a father again?

  Stan Smith : Well, I didn't have a home pregnancy test, so I had to take one online. I'm waiting for the doctor to e-mail me back with the results.

  Stan Smith : How do you take a pregnancy test over the computer?

  Francine Smith : Well, per instruction, I first took several pictures of my genitals.

  Stan Smith : You what?

  Francine Smith : And then one of me peeing on a teddy bear and sent them to the doctor.

  Stan Smith : I-I don't think, uh, that that-that's that's real.

  Francine Smith : He's a legitimate doctor, Stan. See for yourself.

  [shows Stan the website; the computer beeps] 

  Francine Smith : That must be the result. Oh, God, here goes.

  [reads her results] 

  Francine Smith : Oh. Dr. Vadgers says my lab work requires more information. He needs to see my boobs popping out of a cheerleading outfit.

  [Stan looks at her] 

  Francine Smith : I know what you're thinking. What is the boob test going to tell him that the butthole test didn't? He's just being super careful.

• Stan Smith : [as he's getting beat up]  Steve, help! Wrote a few checks with my mouth, bud. Need you to help me cash them.

• Stan Smith : [to Steve]  Where'd you go?

  Steve Smith : I got the usher.

  Stan Smith : I almost died!

  Steve Smith : I almost died too... of shock. I accidentally ran into a Hugh Grant movie. Ugh. Such a youthful haircut on such an old face.

• Steve Smith : The night belongs to me, for I am Greater Chimdale County Man.

  Roger : No! That name's terrible!

• Steve Smith : I can't believe we've been walking around all night and couldn't find one crime.

  Roger : This neighborhood's gotten too safe since the Blacks moved out. David and Franklin Black. Two white brothers who killed every Mexican in town.