Parks and Recreation (TV Series)
Sex Education (2012)
Aziz Ansari: Tom Haverford
Photos
Quotes
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Tom Haverford : Oh my God, Jerry? When you check your email, you go to AltaVista and type "please go to yahoo.com"?
Jerry Gergich : Well, how else would I do it?
Tom Haverford : You don't have your email bookmarked? Do you have any bookmarks?
Jerry Gergich : What's "bookmarks"?
Tom Haverford : God, Jerry! You don't deserve the internet!
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Judge Lankito : Mr. Haverford, you have a problem keeping your eyes on the road and off your electronic devices. I'm going to tailor a punishment to fit the crime. One week without screens. No phone, tablets, computers, television - anything.
Tom Haverford : No! Please, send me to jail!
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Tom Haverford : [after crashing Ron's car] A deer jumped in front of the car, and then a bear jumped in front of the deer!
Ron Swanson : [Reads from the phone] "'Tommy-edamame' is back on the grid. Tell everyone to light me up with their dijjies - gotta load 'em into my burner."
Tom Haverford : Yes, I went to Best Buy and bought a phone.
Ron Swanson : Out of the car, now.
Tom Haverford : Where are we going, Ron? Are we walking to Best Buy to get a better phone?