- Adam Jr.: Jacob is my cousin, and Uncle Lou...
- Lou: Don't you ever call me that.
- Adam Jr.: ...is my uncle! And they came here in a... uh... what was it?
- Lou, Nick, Jacob: Hot Tub Time Machine.
- Jill: Oh, okay. So I guess you came here in a Hot Tub Time Machine, too.
- [Lou, Nick and Jacob stare into the camera]
- Jacob: This has gotten bad, Lou. I mean bad like the part in Boogie Nights after Mark Wahlberg jerks off in the pickup truck.
- Jacob: I mean here we are with the greatest power the universe has to offer at our fingertips...
- Lou: Jacob, I know what you are going through.
- Jacob: Yeah, I know that you do.
- Lou: Look. You know all Dorchen men end up on a roof at some point in their lives. We party until we want to kill ourselves. My Dad did it, and your son will do it after you.
- Jacob: Even grandpappy Dorchen?
- [Lou nods his head]
- Lou: Jumped off a roof. Survived. Died of syphilis.
- Lou: Jacob, how can we expect to find happiness anywhere in time if we just aren't happy people?
- Lou: We just do the best that we can!
- Lou: [Lou gives Jacob a hug]
- Lou: Here comes the hug monster!
- [Jacob hugs Lou back]
- Game Show Host: Bing Bong. What's the delay?
- Lou: There is something trying to kill us here.
- Game Show Host: That's ten thousand bolts of electricity coursing through the suits that you're wearing back here in the studio. Every week it's the same God Damn thing. It's guy on guy. Girl on girl. Sometimes it's even guy on girl.
- [Audience laughs]
- Game Show Host: What is the big deal with the two of you boys sleeping together? You're acting like it's 2010 for Christ Sakes! Now, we got a show to do boys, so start fucking!
- [Adam Sr. shot Lou in the head]
- Adam: Don't listen to anything he says.
- Jacob: Adam?
- Nick: What the fuck? You shot Lou.
- Adam Jr.: Dad?
- Nick: What's going on?
- Adam: No time to explain. Follow me.
- Jacob: But where?
- Adam: Cincinnati.
- Adam Jr.: No! No! Dad, wait! Why did my Dad just kill Lou?
- Jacob: He probably had a good reason...