- Peter Griffin: I guess lying about having a dead wife to eat popcorn wasn't the best idea.
- Cleveland Brown: That's a nice story, Peter. Did anyone else break any sacraments this week?
- Glenn Quagmire: Well, there's two things you can do from here. Break it off or go full scumbag. If you're interested in going scumbag, I sell a starter kit!
- Peter Griffin: Get ready for the greatest video game of all time. Donkey Kong!
- [Game begins]
- Chris Griffin: This game suuuucks!
- Peter: What are you talking about?
- Chris: Uuh, what Universe does this even take place in? Everything needs to take place in a Universe!
- Peter: It's a warehouse with ladders where a monkey took a girl.
- Chris: What about the micro-transactions that slowly bankrupt our family? Or the children slinging racist taunts into your earpiece?
- Peter: It has two buttons and I have to look down when I press'em.
- Peter Griffin: I don't golf.
- Glenn Quagmire: Nobody does! Golf was invented purely so husbands could cheat on their wives. A six hour game in a completely different town where you need special shirts? I don't think so!