The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Hesitation Ramification (2014)
Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter
Photos
Quotes
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Sheldon Cooper : Can't sleep?
Leonard Hofstadter : No.
Sheldon Cooper : Would you like to talk about it?
Leonard Hofstadter : Penny proposed, and I didn't say yes.
Sheldon Cooper : Why not?
Leonard Hofstadter : That's a good question.
Sheldon Cooper : Does that mean the relationship is over?
Leonard Hofstadter : I don't know.
Sheldon Cooper : Why don't you ask her?
Leonard Hofstadter : Because I'm afraid to know the answer.
Sheldon Cooper : Well... I'm sorry.
Leonard Hofstadter : That's it? You're not going to make some dumb joke or some inappropriate comment?
Sheldon Cooper : No. You're my friend and... I'm sorry.
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[first lines]
Amy Farrah Fowler : It's nice that we all get to eat together.
[the guys mumble in agreement]
Amy Farrah Fowler : Can we maybe put the phones down and have an actual human conversation?
Sheldon Cooper : We can, but thanks to Steve Jobs we don't have to.
Penny : Guys, guys. You're never going to believe this.
Leonard Hofstadter : What happened?
Penny : I just got a job on a TV show.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Congratulations.
Leonard Hofstadter : That's great. Guys!
[Guys mumble acknowledgement]
Howard Wolowitz : What's the show?
Penny : Um, NCII or... you know, NCSTD. I don't know. It's... It's the one with all the letters and I'm going to be on it.
Leonard Hofstadter : That's amazing.
Penny : Yeah!
Howard Wolowitz : What's your part?
Penny : I play a customer in a diner and I flirt with Mark Harmon.
Raj Koothrappali : Ooooh. Mark Harmon. He's a dreamboat.
Leonard Hofstadter : So it it's just flirting.
Penny : Well, yeah, why?
Leonard Hofstadter : No reason. I just think it's sexier when left to the imagination.
Penny : Oh.
Amy Farrah Fowler : He's wrong.
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Howard Wolowitz : [to Raj] If you're really desperate to meet women and like having food eaten out of your mouth, I could set you up with my mom.
[Leonard and Howard laugh]
Sheldon Cooper : Why is that funny? That's just unhygienic.
Leonard Hofstadter : It's a joke.
Sheldon Cooper : I don't think so. I believe that a joke is a brief oral narrative with a climatic humorous twist.
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Penny : Are you kidding me?
Leonard Hofstadter : What's wrong?
Penny : Well... the diner scene. Where's my diner scene?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, don't ask me. Until I see the prequel, I'm lost.
Penny : No. There's supposed to be a big scene with me and Mark Harmon, but it-it's... gone.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : What happened?
Penny : They must have cut it.
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, Penny. I'm, I'm sorry.
Howard Wolowitz : That stinks.
Raj Koothrappali : I'm sure you were great.
Penny : This doesn't make any sense to me. I, I thought, I thought I did a really good job, and... Excuse me.
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Sheldon Cooper : I'm sorry.
[Pats Leonard on the back]
Leonard Hofstadter : Did you just put a 'Kick Me' sign on my back?
Sheldon Cooper : [pause] No. That wouldn't be funny at all.
[Rips a paper off Leonard's back]
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Raj Koothrappali : I read a study that says a man with a dog is three times more likely to get a woman's phone number.
Leonard Hofstadter : Is it true even when the man lets his dog lick peanut butter off his tongue?
Raj Koothrappali : I don't see why not.
Howard Wolowitz : If you're really desperate to meet women and like having food eaten out of your mouth, I could set you up with my mom.
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Penny : You didn't get your part cut. And you didn't get your part cut. Yep a bunch of old guys rocking out in a band all with erectile dysfunction, you didn't get your part cut.
Leonard Hofstadter : Hey, can we talk?
Penny : We can, but the part of Penny might get cut.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Yes. How much for, uh, a hundred long stemmed red roses? Really? How much for three?
Penny : Hey.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, I'll call you back.
Penny : Look, I know you were just trying to help with your Star Wars thing. I didn't mean to call it idiotic.
Leonard Hofstadter : Well, I don't think you called it idiotic.
Penny : Oh. Sorry, I meant to. Anyway, um. I was just upset with myself. I wasn't mad at you. Just feel like everything is falling apart.
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, come on; it's OK.
Penny : No, it's not OK. Look at me. OK. I took a temp job as a waitress forever ago, and still doing it. I can't quit because guess what, I can't do anything else. And I finally get ybig break and it goes away. I'm such a mess.
Leonard Hofstadter : No, you're not.
Penny : Really? Cause this morning at Starbucks a pair of old underwear fell out of my pant leg. And it wasn't the only one in there.
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Leonard Hofstadter : OK, listen to me. This is just a minor setback.
Penny : No, it's not, OK. I've been out here for like ten years. I've nothing to show for it.
Leonard Hofstadter : You have me.
Penny : You're right. I do have you. Mmm. Let's get married.
Leonard Hofstadter : What?
Penny : [She gets down on one knee] Wooh. Leonard Hofstadter... will you marry me?
Leonard Hofstadter : Ummm.
Penny : Did you seriously just say, "Ummm"?
Leonard Hofstadter : You know I love you, but but you're, you're drunk and sad and feeling lost...
Penny : OK, so... ugh... you don't want to marry me?
Leonard Hofstadter : That is not what I said.
Penny : No, forget it. I take it back. Offer's off the table.
Sheldon Cooper : Who's in the mood to laugh?
Leonard Hofstadter : Really not a good time.
Sheldon Cooper : But I used science to construct the perfect joke.
Penny : I'm gonna go.
Leonard Hofstadter : Ah, Penny don't.
Penny : No, no. I just need to be alone.
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Leonard Hofstadter : The odds of *anyone* becoming a successful actor, like a million to one.
Penny : Wow, thank you.
[She exits]
Leonard Hofstadter : [to himself] Should have let Sheldon come
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Leonard Hofstadter : What you're trying to do is hard, but people do make it. And I really do believe that you could be one of 'em.
Penny : Thank you.
Leonard Hofstadter : And, to show you how much I believe in you, I kind of got you an audition
Penny : Are you serious? For what?
Leonard Hofstadter : The new Star Wars movie.
Penny : What! How did you manage that?
Leonard Hofstadter : There's a thing online. You put yourself on tape and just send it in. Anyone can do it.
Penny : Come on, Leonard, this is just a PR stunt.
Leonard Hofstadter : So, uh, even if it is, you have a huge advantage because you're an actual actress; most of the people doing this are just weirdos and nerds. Wolowitz sent his in two days ago.
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Penny : I want you right now to give me your one hundred percent honest opinion. Do you think I have what it takes to really make it as an actress?
Leonard Hofstadter : Yes.
Penny : So you think I'll be on TV and in movies and win awards?
Leonard Hofstadter : Honestly?
Penny : Yes, honestly.
Leonard Hofstadter : I don't.
Penny : How could you say that!
Leonard Hofstadter : I don't, no, I got all confused when you said honestly.