- Roger the Alien: [while clinging to Francine] Hugs, not drugs. That's what I say. I'm also on drugs.
- Roger the Alien: [while in the bathtub with Hayley] Baths are so great 'cause the toilet's right there, you know? No stress.
- Francine Smith: Roger, I'm glad you're not straddling me anymore, but you're ruining your Build-A-Bear.
- Roger the Alien: Hey, if he doesn't like it, he can say something. That's why I gave him three mouths. Well, that's not why.
- [laughs]
- Roger the Alien: Um, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna take Qurchhhh upstairs and
- [makes a spit sound]
- Roger the Alien: all over her.
- Roger the Alien: [to Klaus] Oh, geez. So you were in here last night?
- Klaus: I tried to look away, but I couldn't. It was so horrible. Like looking at the ass of God.
- Francine Smith: Oh, Roger, we just love Qurchhhh.
- Hayley Smith: Uh, yeah, she's terrific. Plus, she hasn't seen The Wire and I love to turn people on to The Wire.
- Qurchhhh: [to Roger] I know I need a disguise, but won't it look strange, you checking into a romantic B&B with your dog?
- Roger the Alien: Well, if anyone asks, I'll just explain that I'm banging my dog. That should stop the questions.
- Avery Bullock: Did you know that P. Diddy only sleeps four hours a night? Like I've always said, let's run the CIA Diddy style: He's up all night designing sweatpants, picking colors, textures, various velours. Piping here, double pockets there, his mind is a volcano.