The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Military Miniaturization (2016)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
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Sheldon Cooper : I never realized this building was classified.
Howard Wolowitz : Maybe that's because it's classified.
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[first lines]
Sheldon Cooper : Look at this! Elon Musk has a theory that we're all just characters in some advanced civilization's video game.
Leonard Hofstadter : So some alien kid spent his money on the asthma and glasses upgrade for me?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, he-he doesn't say it's a good game.
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Leonard Hofstadter : You're just a know-it-all.
Sheldon Cooper : I am not a know-it-all I am a person who knows lots of things and likes to correct other people when they're wrong.
Leonard Hofstadter : That's the definition of being a know-it-all.
Sheldon Cooper : Or in German, a Besserwisser.
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Sheldon Cooper : I think we are losing sight of the real issue. We are on the precipice of becoming faceless cogs in the military-industrial complex. Isn't that exciting?
Howard Wolowitz : You're kidding, right?
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, not at all. In Star Wars, when the Stormtroopers would march in perfect formation harassing civilians, didn't you ever think "Hey, that could be me"?
Howard Wolowitz : Sheldon, we could be contributing to a weapon system that oppresses mankind for the next thousand years.
Sheldon Cooper : Okay, Howard's on board. What do you think, Leonard?
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Sheldon Cooper : I don't understand why I can't talk at this meeting.
Leonard Hofstadter : 'Cause when you talk, it enrages people.
Sheldon Cooper : OK. Uh, quick question: am I allowed to exchange pleasantries upon meeting this colonel?
Leonard Hofstadter : Yes.
Sheldon Cooper : Am I allowed to inform him that Colonel Sanders was never actually in the military?
Leonard Hofstadter : I'm getting enraged.
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Sheldon Cooper : Leonard's mad at me, so I'm making him lemon bars.
Penny Hofstadter : Does he even like lemon bars?
Sheldon Cooper : Not really, but I'm mad at him too, so lemon bars it is.
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[last lines]
Howard Wolowitz : Oh, oh, oh, oh oh, guys, hold me upside down.
[Sheldon and Leonard hold him head down in front of the optic scanner]
Computer : Howard Wolowitz. Access granted.
Howard Wolowitz , Leonard Hofstadter , Sheldon Cooper : Yaaaay!