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mondopsycho
Reviews
Ercole sfida Sansone (1963)
Half-naked muscle-bound nonsense.
Not unexpectedly, given the genre and the decade, this film is a nonsensical affair of half-naked muscle-men, including devilishly handsome Kirk Morris as Hercules, posing and fighting against a backdrop of silly sets and dubious locations. Special effects are rather bad (get a load of that sea monster!) while the acting, dialogue, and action are predictably funny, though not necessarily intentionally so. Look for the scene with a close-up of Morris pretending to be riding a horse while conversing with Delilah; I spontaneously laughed out loud. In all fairness, low-budget sword-and-sandal flicks of this sort have a nostalgic value and do not really deserve or warrant critical review; they can sometimes still be entertaining if not taken at all seriously. The best scenes of this movie are those featuring lots of fake boulders and fake stone ruins, and in the end, one can only feel sorry for the horses and lions. I gave this film an extra star for going out on a limb and suggesting that, while Hercules and Samson were relatively evenly matched in the physical sense, Hercules probably had the intellectual edge.
The Blood on Satan's Claw (1971)
Menacing mood and music, but nothing scary lurks here.
This, yet another 1970's film entry into the genre of devil-worship and witchcraft, features beautiful, moody cinematography and does a good job placing this film in the English countryside of a few centuries ago. The scenery is always gray, yet rich and fertile, setting a somber mood, which together with a menacing score, set the viewer up for untold frights and horror to come. Unfortunately, the scares are not delivered, and there is little to cringe from.
Though the film is cast with fine character actors who wear their costumes well, the story is muddy from beginning to end. Eventually one has an idea as to what is going on (in a vague way), but throughout, events happen that leave the viewer unsure and confused as to how it all ties together, rendering ineffective the scenes otherwise intended to be creepy; the film never quite reaches thriller status. While ultimately we know that devil-worship and sorcery are taking a toll on the locals, the evil-doers really never do anything supernaturally frightening as might be expected. There is some gratuitous nudity and a relatively graphic rape scene enacted on Satan's altar, but the slight edge these bring to the movie are let down by the lack of anything intellectually or psychologically frightening, which a film of this genre typically needs. The special effects offered are mostly laughable and wholly forgettable and probably take away more from the effectiveness of the movie than they add. Some of the visual effects were good ideas, but none of them were executed well. At times the film has the feel of historical drama in regards to superstition and ignorance and religion as they relate to witchcraft and Satanism, but only in a minor way.
When the viewer finally arrives at the film's closing moments, expecting surely something terrible and horrific to reveal itself, or perhaps a shocking twist, alas, the final scene is overshadowed by a serious and distracting plot ambiguity and does not come close to delivering the payoff that this movie so badly needs. The adeptly filmed sets and rich scenery, together with a creepy musical score, create an appropriately chilling mood; but in the end, a mood is all that BLOOD ON SATAN'S CLAW has to offer.
The Darwin Conspiracy (1999)
Barnaby Jones meets DNA.
It is hard to believe that THE DARWIN CONSPIRACY was made in 1999 as it plays like really bad TV of the 1970's; indeed, the director's earliest work was in 1970's TV ("Barnaby Jones" for example). This made-for-TV movie is totally predictable with a plot and script (which are the real culprits) so weak as to be funny. The pseudo-science is outlandishly foolish, and the whole thing is silly enough to merit viewing once, if you're game.
Best scene: a mentally-enhanced chimpanzee (it received injections of super-human DNA!!) steals a van - the chimp learned by watching how to start the vehicle and can operate the pedals by telepathy - but, alas, it apparently did not pay attention to steering and so plunges at high speed head-on into a tractor-trailer and, to the chagrin of government scientists, is killed.