Change Your Image
rinzai
Reviews
Around the World in 80 Days (1989)
Not as bad as portrayed
While it's not high cinema, it's watchable, and certainly passes the time on a rainy afternoon. It could be said that Phileas' constant do-si-do with the Princess (as Passepartout puts it, "l'affaire du coeur") does drag a bit, but I can't find any reasons to be truly unhappy with it. It's more authentic than the Jackie Chan version (which I don't hate, either).
I don't see this portrayal of Fixx as a bumbler, either...efficient Fixx may be, but he was never a Nobel prize nominee, and Ustinov does well enough with what's provided. The Princess may have some anachronistic attitudes, but no historical movie has ever failed to cast the characters in at least a semi-modern mindset--it makes the characters more accessible to modern viewers. Of Eric Idle I'll say no more--I enjoy his work, and I don't care if the accent is ludicrous or not.
It's entirely possible that the novel simply can't be filmed. It wouldn't be the first one to have that happen. ("Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" comes to mind, for example.)
The Muppets' Wizard of Oz (2005)
Couldn't get through it
I'm sorry--I just couldn't get through it. Whatever happened to the innocent fun the Muppets brought to these stories?
* Toto as a shrimp? I don't think so. Worse, a greedy, conniving, shrimp? I'm continuing not to think so.
* Rearranging Dorothy's motivations from the original to the "teen music star" fantasy was appalling. Hasn't that threadbare character motivation been done to death already?
* Ashanti's acting skills make Keanu Reaves comparable to Laurence Olivier.
* Changing the encounter with the Munchkins and the Wicked Witch of the East? Not quite blasphemy, I'll grant you, but very muddled.
* The on-camera death scene with Miss Piggy under the house was...well, just not on.
* Kermit as the scarecrow is okay, but not enough to save this.
* The sexual overtones of the nipple business in the TIN shack when the shrimp {shudder} is exploring Gonzo was completely unnecessary. This is Disney, AND the Muppets. They don't DO that sort of thing. How did that get past Standards and Practices? I'm going to have nightmares tonight because of that scene.
* My wife watched it longer than I did, and she was put off by the defibrillator scene in the poppy club. I didn't make it that far into the movie.
* They didn't even have Mabel King singing "No Bad News." (Yes, I know she passed in 1999, but it's the principle of the thing.)
* From what I can see, this was the director's first directing job. I'm voting that it be his last, as well. He's no Sidney Lumet (and you know what Sid did to "The Wiz") but hey, this guy's biggest contribution to the movie business thus far was the role of the boom box punk in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.
Lord of Illusions (1995)
Revolting tripe...and that's its good side
Let's see: badly directed, badly plotted, badly acted (because that's all you can do with the material at hand), what's left?
It has the pacing and narrative structure of a breathless retelling of a night spent at the wrestling matches, told by a sleep-deprived twelve-year-old. It's always been evident that Clive Barker can't write...now we find out he can't direct, either. Maybe next we'll find he can't produce [no pun intended]. (Wonder why he was directing? Because no reputable director would touch the project.)
How cheesy is it? Well, the villain, our Devil of the piece, is named "Nix." Puh-leeze. Is that clever? NO.
Obviously Barker has some psychological problems to work out, but I can't for the life of me figure out why WE have to be part of the therapy. Stop reading the books, stop watching the movies, and maybe--just maybe--he'll go away.
One can only hope.