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Reviews
The Village (2004)
Twist again
I don't care what other reviews of this movie have said (or will say) but I'm determined to reveal only the barest details of its plot.
Like director M Night Shyamalan's other movies (The Sixth Sense, for instance) it's as twisty and turny as a run-for-you-life through the seriously creepy woods that play a large part in The Village.
At the risk of joking about a clever and suspenseful atmospheric thriller such as this, I have to tell you it's like Little House on the Prairie meets The Blair Witch Project.
A tough one to pitch you might think, but M Night has already proven his bankability again and again (see IMDb trivia).
He's written and directed all of his films (indeed, made a cameo appearance in each) and the same is the case here.
The movie starts in 1897 wilderness America with the death of a child in the eponymous "Village". The name of the place is never revealed and it soon becomes clear that it doesn't really need one as none of its residents ever leaves and no-one ever visits. It is entirely self-sufficient.
Anyone outside the village is "those we do not speak of" from "the towns". And Covington Woods, which surround the community, are just too darn scary to even step one foot into. Eerie howling sounds emit from the woods, day and night, and there are dozens of rules and legends about the creatures that roam among the trees.
Even colours are part of the myth. Red is very bad and essentially banned from the village, while yellow is "safe".
The men take turns manning a watchtower to warn of any incursions by the creatures and the whole place is ringed by yellow flags (and flaming torches at night). Yellow is the colour of cowardice and everyone in the community is in a constant state of fear.
Everyone that is except Lucius Hunt (Joaquin Phoenix), a young man who asks the village elders, led by Edward Walker (William Hurt) for permission to cross the woods to get medicine from "the towns".
Lucius (whose mother, Alice, is played by Sigourney Weaver) believes the child who died could have been saved. And, it seems, Walker's own daughter Ivy (the excellent Bryce Dallas Howard, daughter of director/actor Ron Howard) went blind for lack of medical treatment.
Soon there is indeed a terrifying visit from one of the creatures and eventually it's not just Lucius who wants to cross the woods. And that's all I'm saying. I think M Night (and IMDb) would be sorely displeased if I blabbed any more.
Suffice to say, he puts the whole thing together beautifully. The pacing is almost perfect and he draws out the suspense in the manner of Alfred Hitchcock, one of his favourite directors.
A lot of the movie has a cold, stark, disconcerted feeling even during its lighter moments (there is some humour). There is much use of hand-held cameras and the barely-engineered sound gives the whole thing an almost documentary feeling.
Indian-born, Philadelphia-raised Shyamalan became the highest-paid movie scriptwriter for Signs ($5 million) and he earns his cash here too. This movie is a thriller but the dialogue is impressive: pared-down, unsentimental and hugely effective.
At one point, Lucius says to Ivy: "You run like a boy". She sees this as a compliment and simply replies: "Thank you." And later, during the scene in which they declare their love for each other, she asks if he dislikes her "tomboyish ways" (he doesn't).
Love angles are so often tacked on to thrillers in a desperate attempt to give the characters some depth, and, as such, have the audience yawning. This one however, is actually quite moving in its uncomfortable simplicity.
And, as usual, M Night drops clues around the movie to give hints at what's coming next or to cleverly make the events fit together. Go see him do the twist for yourself.
Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004)
Just Doo it (mini spoilers)
FORGET the current complicated international debate raging over The Passion of the Christ. The big theological and philosophical discussion now concerns another movie - Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed.
And the question exercising all of the world's great thinkers is thus: "Is it mondo groovy or is it suck-tastic?" The answer to this is simple: of course it's awesome. Rating films like of this nature (although I shall) always seems completely irrelevant to me. Hollywood's special effects people and gag-writers are obviously going to make something cool out of Scooby-Doo (twice, in fact).
I was, rather unusually, asked to review this film in the presence of a school party (whichever school it was at the Ipswich Odeon that Wednesday morning. teachers, you can be proud). These well-behaved kids offered the perfect opportunity to show how this kind of movie works on two levels. All the slap-stick, cartoon-like gags and simple spoken jokes got huge laughs from the pupils. Then the more grown-up and in-jokes bits had me chortling (and, I imagine, the teachers stifling titters).
Oh, those in-jokes. Hollywood seems intent on movie industry references these days (see our Cat in the Hat review) and there was a good one from Shaggy (Matthew Lillard) in this one: "Scoob, they're so having a montage in there without us."
Now for the plot bit. Mystery Inc (the Scooby Gang) are doing real well in their home town of Coolsville and are being feted due to the huge number of "scared little men" they have unmasked from creepy costumes. But now those costumes have been nicked from the Coolsonian Museum and. oh, no. they've come to life!
The gang are now universally ridiculed and taken out of context by horrid local TV reporter Heather (Alicia Silverstone), setting up all kinds of morality-play subplots about self-image, self-doubt, the downside of hero-worship and teamwork. These are all excellent points, and it always amazes me that in a world where cinema attendance is still pretty high (and TV viewing of films is, of course, massive) none of this understanding ever seems to rub off on anyone in real life. It's just a Hollywood dream.
Anyway, one of the main dilemmas is that Shaggy and Scooby think they are letting the gang down because, as usual, everything goes wrong due their goofy antics, which prompts the immortal line from Shaggy: "This is the our-fault-est screw-up ever, Scoob."
This leads to a lot more goofiness as the crazy dude-duo go off alone to try and solve the mystery. Obviously, this means they have to go to the bar where are the bad-guys hang out; Shaggy dressed as a gangsta rapper and Scoob in a spangly flared catsuit and a giant afro-wig.
Meanwhile, the gorgeous Daphne (Sarah Michelle Gellar) has a relatively restrained wardrobe but gets to jump around beating up the monsters like she's Buffy the Vampire Slayer or something (not like the cartoon show at all!).
Speaking of Buffy, Seth Green (who was Oz in the show) makes an appearance as the Coolsonian's curator, who falls in love with Velma (the superb Linda Cardellini). Later Daphne glams Velma up in a very uncomfortable red rubber catsuit to woo Green and there are other transformations. including Shaggy turning into a chick (like in Scooby-Doo 1).
So, factor in a lot of more of this craziness and a few good flatulence gags until we get to inevitable Scooby Gang unmasking scene at the end. And who was it who would've gotten away with it if hadn't 'a been for them pesky kids? Mel Gibson, of course.
8/10
The Cat in the Hat (2003)
I do so like them, Sam-I-am!
Now, if I were really clever I'd write this review in rhyming couplets, like the great Dr Seuss himself. But as the screenplay writers for this movie decided, that would get very tedious, very quickly.
And if you're a big fan of the original 1950s Dr Seuss, that's what's likely to happen anyway if you go to see The Cat in the Hat. (I think the Internet Movie Database has been hijacked by such people - resulting in an 2.9/10 score for the film.)
What they don't like about it, I guess, is the fact that Mike Myers (also to be heard soon as the voice of Shrek)and the writers have taken the franchise and updated it for the 21st Century. This not happening would have been about as likely as Will & Grace being married and filmed in black-and-white with no mention of homosexuality.
Speaking of W&G, the other big name in this movie is Sean Hayes, who reprises his Jack character from the sitcom to play obsessive-compulsive estate agency boss, Mr Humberfloob. He really enjoys himself and, given a lot more time on screen, would have given the comedy stylings of Myers a run for their money. In fact, as though the film-makers realised they were wasting him, he also gets to be the voice of a Jimeny Cricket-like talking fish.
Humberfloob plays the boss of the lovely Kelly Preston, who is being pursued by slimy, two-faced Alec Baldwin who wants to con her into marriage and then stick her out-of-control mini-John Belushi son, Conrad, (Spencer Breslin) in to military school and secretly hates her control-freak Lisa Simpson daughter, Sally (Dakota Fanning).
Both the kids are excellent. It's like they found Fanning (now 10) by going back in time and getting Drew Barrymore from ET. But eventually, the children are mostly reacting to the madcap antics of Myers, who is given full range for his impressions and mainly plays The Cat like a Jewish comedian with a lot of Fred Gwynne (the guy who was Herman Munster). But he has that kind-of subversive, mischievous Seuss quality and I thought his little helpers, Thing 1 and Thing 2, were pure '50s.
Debut movie director Bo Welch (who was the production designer on films like Men in Black, Edward Scissorhands and Beetlejuice - there's an obvious allusion to this last one at the end of The Cat in the Hat) presumably worked closely with his art people to produce a Seuss-style cartoon-like American town, full of bold outlines and bright colours but packed with contemporary references (Sally uses a retro palm-pilot, for instance, and the kids' amazing babysitter, Mrs Kwan, falls asleep in front of the modern-day Taiwanese parliament on TV).
This gives the writers great scope for loads of in-gags like The Cat saying: "See how we managed to work an up-tempo song into the soundtrack? That's important." And at one point Myers satirises infomercials, doing his famous Cheshire accent, which, on this occasion, sounds just like Johnny Vegas. And, of course, the special effects are remarkable - often used just to back-up the jokes. Also, look out for Paris Hilton and a gag that also appears in Shrek 2.
In fact, every line Myers has is a gag; some very clever, some knowing, some really stupid and cheesy (the ones I like the best) and some a little bit more grown-up than you might think, hence the PG rating.
And that's why this film's detractors will say that Theodor Seuss Geisel (Dr Seuss) will be turning in his grave. But the reclusive legend (who died in 1991, aged 86) supposedly wrote The Cat in the Hat as a bet. and he once said: "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
7/10
Intermission (2003)
Black as a pint of Guinness
There's something distinctly self-destructive about calling a film Intermission. Think about it: a list of films at the cinema, with the word "Intermission" half-way down. The certificate at the beginning it could have the less clued-up popping out to the foyer for one of those funny hotdogs.
It's not that the people who made this movie don't want you to see it it's like they don't care if you see it.
This is a savage film. It's set in present-day urban Dublin and I would describe it as Nil By Mouth meets Life Is Sweet. There is comedy here, but it's very, very black. Black as a black hole.
With production companies including Brown Sauce (a theme in the film) and Company of Wolves, Intermission was made with the help of the Bord Scannán na hÉireann (Irish Film Board) and has everything that suggests: total reality, utter griminess and lots and lots of cuss-words. And almost all of the crew have Irish names
not much Hollywood there, then.
It's shot very tightly (almost claustrophobically), often with only people's heads in the frame. And most of the camera-work is hand-held. It's not a movie to see with a hangover.
And, to be honest, it's not a movie to see if you've just come from Bible class. To say this film has shock value is like saying the Irish have a slight fondness for a pint of Guinness.
I like my movies as real as possible, but I was taken aback by some of the pervasive violence in this picture. At the same time, thought, I was hugely impressed by its honesty. If I tell you that all of the main characters, at some stage, have either blood, cuts or bruising on their faces, you may see what I mean.
It's basically a love story with John (Cillian Murphy) trying to win back Deidre (Kelly McDonald). But then the sociopathic nutter that is Lehiff (Colin Farrell) gets involved and it goes completely crazy.
That's all you need to know really, except that Farrell is probably the best psycho I've seen since Robert Carlyle's Begby in Trainspotting. And he sings a fantastic Irish version of I Fought the Law for the closing credits.
A Guy Thing (2003)
Guy and dolls (poss spoiler)
This movie isn't really a guy thing. It should actually be called A Grown-up Teenage Comedy With All The Usual Suspects But A Little Extra Thought Thing.
I think the `guy thing' title was chosen to appeal to the teen market, but the laddish references this film contains (and there are only about three) are crowbarred into the plot as apparent afterthoughts.
It's a big bad to reveal the how movies turn out in reviews like these but I won't insult your intelligence - suffice to say Jason Lee's ad man is marrying preppy Selma Blair, but, guess what?, he meets kooky serial-McJob girl Julia Stiles, who begins the film as a very bad Tiki dancer at his bachelor party.
There are so many permutations here; I'll leave you to decide. Basically, it's a case of we know what's gonna happen, let's see how they do it.
And they do it pretty well. As with all movies of this genre these days there has to be a good dose of toilet/drugs/venereal disease gags, but again, these seem to be just tacked on (although the VD reference dominates the film's trailer).
What works about A Guy Thing is that it's genuinely fairly funny and the characters are nicely developed (as much as you can in 101 minutes). The major players have past lives and interesting quirks and the script brings these in nicely. It's the same kind of strong characterisation that, I think, makes the TV sitcom Friends so popular.
The actual plot is completely stupid; a series of co-incidences so bizarre that even a daytime soap wouldn't touch them. But it's played out by a three-dimensional cast, the soundtrack is good and the Seattle setting is great - although, at one point, Stiles has a job in a record store, filmed on location at Zulu Records, which is actually in Vancouver.
And the inevitable `hey, I'm actually falling in love with this girl' sequences are done in a charmingly believable, if a bit simplistic (it is 12A, after all) manner.
So it all turns out as you might expect but there's some fun extra stuff - like Stiles' 'roid-rage cop ex-boyfriend and Lee's crass-but-loveable step-dad. And, perhaps because it's all so obvious, the film-makers throw in a couple little twists, too.
6/10
About Schmidt (2002)
About time
On receiving his best actor Golden Globe for About Schmidt earlier this week, Jack Nicholson said: `I don't know whether to be ashamed or happy, because I thought we made a comedy.'
He's not the only one. The poster for the film depicts him with a cartoon-like thundercloud above his head, suggesting a new take on Grumpy Old Men. And the critics' quotes are all along the lines of `a super soar-away comic slam-dunk of a movie'. This is all extremely misleading, if not downright stupid.
Only The Independent newspaper correctly, I my view, identifies it as a `bitter satire'. It is a remarkable, beautifully shot film, but it's no feel-good movie.
In fact, it's almost anti-Hollywood: with no reassuring affirmations of how great life really is, it's the complete opposite of escapism.
Starkly shot in desolate Omaha, Nebraska, and working-class Colorado, Nicholson plays an insurance executive who is hit with retirement after 30-odd years, followed soon after by the sudden death of his wife. Even the opening interior shot tells you so much: Warren Schmidt sitting in his packed-up office waiting, with no irony, until the exact second of 5pm before he leave on his final day as at Woodmen Worldwide.
Sunshine is absent and the settings of the movie are homogenised, plastic 21st Century US where the Pioneers' progress of the States becomes a mini-theme park at a shopping mall. It's real Americana
the kind people live with every day.
Schmidt's best friend uses the word `superficial' early on, in a drunken speech at his retirement dinner. And this is the essence of the satire: the superficiality of life in the Western world in general.
The screenplay by the film's director Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor also won a Golden Globe. But it is Nicholson's face which makes the underplayed, almost banal wording so brilliant. Almost everything that is said to Schmidt in the film is an ultimately pointless platitude. And you can see it in Nicholson's face: it's a mixture of bemusement and disgust.
Schmidt's true feelings are made clear using a clever device, presumably taken from Louis Blegley's original novel (which I have not read). Just before his wife dies, he becomes the sponsor of a six-year-old orphan in Tanzania, sending the child a monthly $22 cheque. In his first letter to his `foster child' he starts inoffensively enough and then launches into a ruthless attack on his wife of 42 years, saying that everything about her irritates him and writing: `Who is this old woman living in my house?' When she suddenly dies, of course, he goes to pieces.
He suffers a pyjamas-in-the-supermarket crisis that isn't helped by the fact that, as a veteran insurance actuary, he can calculate that at 66 (virtually Nicholson's real age) and given his socio-economic details he has nine years left to live.
Mrs Schmidt had persuaded him to buy a huge Winnebago motor home and his subsequent experiences involve his driving this monster across the US to Denver to the one remaining light in his life: his daughter, Jeannie (Hope Davis).
It has to be said that there are funny moments on this journey, but they are all set within the overall pathos of the film (and shouldn't be taken out of context in trailers). The incidental and end-credit music is unrelentingly chirpy and uplifting. I sincerely hope this is irony on the part of the film-makers.
The direction of this film, unlike so many, is very difficult to predict. Jeannie's wedding is perhaps an obvious denouement, but, in Schmidt's view, she's marrying a second-generation hippy `nincompoop' called Randall Hertzel (Dermot Mulroney). He's just not `up to snuff' for Schmidt's little girl. Which way will Schmidt go?
There's a scene where he's staying at the home of his future son-in-law's mother (played powerfully by Kathy Bates), just before the wedding sleeping in Randall's old room. There are many rosettes pinned to the wall marked only with the word `participant' and a framed certificate stating only that the waterbed salesman completed a course `with perfect attendance'.
Randall's no rocket scientist but we can all see that Jeannie virtually ignored by her father until retirement and bereavement snapped him out of his unquestioning existence just wants to be with her fiancé.
So we just don't know whether we should sympathise with Schmidt. He's self-centred, miserly and narrow-minded. But he truly appears to be seeking something other than a futile existence. But even this is flawed: is it the meaning of life he's after or is he going off the rails simply because he only made it to assistant vice-president of a Nebraska insurance company and not the cover of Time magazine?
National Lampoon's Van Wilder (2002)
Who the man?
IF you look up the film National Lampoon's Van Wilder on the Internet Movie Database someone has posted a review which, among many other cerebral observations, says it's `an aggressively funny movie, unashamed by its bad taste' featuring `humanitarian philanthropy'. Okay, professor, sounds like you need a party.
And, yes, as you may have already guessed, it's arranging such gatherings that is the forte of Mr Wilder. It's also his salvation when Vance Wilder Senior cuts him off without a dime when the old man discovers he's been paying his son's tuition at Coolidge College for seven years with no sign of a graduation.
That's basically the whole plot right there. What follows is a series of gags so base in their derivation that I can't even hint at their exact nature in a family newspaper such as this. At first it just seems like they're trying clumsily to out-gross the Farrelly Brothers but the humour finds its own level and, once you get over the initial recoil, a lot of it is pretty funny.
Ryan Reynolds (who?) is Van while the angelic Tara Reid plays college newspaper reporter Gwen Pearson who is charged by her down-market editor with getting the scoop on Coolidge's party god. Reid now has the distinction of playing America's dizziest blonde in Josey and the Pussycats and now the brainiest-ever teen-movie girl (still blonde). At first she hates Wilder, but then
There are a couple of strong supporting characters in Teck Holmes as Van's right-hand man and Kal Penn as Taj Mahal Badalandabad, an Indian exchange student whom Wilder hires as his `assistant' in the open scenes. (Penn's other acting credits include playing `Fez Boy' and `Nerdy Kid'.) Daniel Cosgrove is also good as Van's evil frat-boy nemesis.
So essentially this is Ferris Bueller's Day Off meets Animal House. Okay, it's not Au Revoir Les Enfants, but, as with many of these gross-out comedies, the basic theme is `don't hurt people and have fun with everything and life will be good'. And there's always a place for that. 7/10
The Lost Weekend (1945)
I can relate
I'm humbled by this movie. It's the 21st Century but this film is always so relevant - a 1940s interpretation of alcoholism but so perfect, the sentiment is timeless. Strange, maybe, to see such horrid subject matter as perfection, but that's just what it is, I believe. I'm coming to terms with the drink and this movie helps so much. This film appears to end happily and, of course, a life of drinking rarely ends so. But Billy Wilder can make it end happily. I realised life is more important than drink when I began to see Wilder's 1940s streetscapes, rather than thinking about the fact that Milland was staggering towards his next bottle of Scotch. I thought: "I'd pay a lot of money to be there." And I wouldn't be there to drink.
The Last American Hero (1973)
Fast fun
The great American movie - fast cars, fast women (okay, woman), fast cutting. The American dream... and it happens to be true, as well! The performances had the realism I love in these classic movies from the '70s and the locations, thanks to Lamont Johnson's almost-documentary approach, are like time-travel back to those days; a by-God record of US social history. Yes, sir.
Galaxy Quest (1999)
Star Trek is real
This is such a great idea it's amazing no-one had it before. The gags just fall into place and they're perfectly timed.
The bizarre thing is that, on top of the industry in-jokes, there's a sci-fi plot, too - which some may argue is stronger then many episodes of Star Trek. In fact, this is how the Trek should have been; why didn't Scotty ever group-hug with the rest of the engineers?
Meanwhile, the effects are strong in a Men In Black kind of way. And Sigourney looks great as a blonde.
Mighty Aphrodite (1995)
Mira's voice
I loved this film because of Mira Sorvino's voice. She was the antithesis of the Woody Allen woman whereas Helena Bonham Carter was trying too hard to be the generic Woody woman. I believe Mira deserved the Oscar.
I thought the Greek chorus was a bit too much and there was a bizarre TV movie-esque plot summary (the scene with Woody and HBC in the cab) that really wasn't necessary. What was that about?