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Ninerism
Reviews
The Predator (2018)
Worse than AVP
There's not much to say that hasn't already been said, but I'll waste a little of your time to save more of your time in the long run.
When I heard they were making a new Predator film, I thought "Here we go again" but then I heard it was going to be Shane Black writing and directing, I thought that although it's not the person I would have picked to direct a Predator film, his action and comedy blend might possibly make it a halfway decent film.
In the very beginning we see a cloaked Predator who quickly uncloaks for a second then cloak again in front of soldiers, just so that we know for sure that it is actually a Predator. That's the level of "cleverness" this film is filled with.
OUTLINE FOR THE FIRST 15 MINUTES
Two alien ships fighting in space and crash landing on earth. A government agency looking for proof of alien life. A soldier getting his hands on predator tech and mailing it to off someone before being nabbed by government agency. A woman being approached in public by a government agency because she's obviously some kind of expert/scientist whose expertise is needed for aforementioned crash landing. An autistic kid with a photographic memory being bullied at school like it's 1985 who is later at home deciding on a costume to go trick or treating in who happens to be the child of the person receiving the package from the solider.
Add one or two lingering camera shots on things you know are going to reappear later in the film just incase you're 3 years old, as this film seems like it's made for 8 year olds. It goes downhill from there.
That is the first 15 minutes and it all makes it seem far more interesting than it is. It gets more and more convoluted, inconsistent, incoherent and stupid. I won't even start on the "comedy".
I've wasted too much time reviewing this piece of crap already. It's easy to want to give this a one star rating. I gave it three out of respect for the dead.
The Twilight Zone (2019)
Wasted opportunity
When I heard TTZ was coming back again, I was excited which is something that rarely happens. It's The Twilight Zone, and although the overall quality of episodes aren't always consistent with each new incarnation, there's always at least one or two hidden gems.
The original series aired 60 years ago this year. 60 years and all this new series has shown us is that although we know so much more and are far more advanced as a race now than we were back then, we are just getting dumber and dumber and dumber.
This is not only the worse incarnation of TTZ, but also one of the worse anthology series overall in a long time. Treating viewers as idiots over time will eventually breed idiots, but I guess that's what "they" want and we are already living inside the Twilight Zone.
Game of Thrones: The Iron Throne (2019)
Glad it's over.
If you've ever watched the behind the scenes documentaries, you know just how much work went into every aspect of GoT. The insane attention to detail and the love and devotion people poured into their craft...
I can't imagine anyone, cast or crew who worked on the show not being bitterly disappointed with how it all went down in the end. It's a kick in the gut to all involved.
D&D p*ssed it all away. It was apparent the love and care that was once there had gone and they were bored and in a rush to get it over with.
Those defending season 8 don't seem to understand why people don't like it. People hated the red wedding, yet "The Rains of Castamere" episode has an almost perfect score of 9.9/10.
It's not because characters are dying and things aren't going how people wanted it to, or even that everyone had very high expectations. People don't like it because it became dumbed-down, illogical shallow cheesy poorly written fan fiction that completely disrespected the lore and storyline that had been carefully crafted over years.
The past few seasons haven't always been the best, but season 8 has been a caricature of the show it once was . It's the lowest rated season with the most low rated episodes for a reason. Even the cast have started speaking up against it.
It's like the show got cancer and although I wish it had been different, I just couldn't watch it suffer anymore so I'm glad it's now over.
Now we can all look forward to D&D doing the same thing to Star Wars in 2022.
The Dark Tower (2017)
Starting at the end with a fizzle
I see a lot of reviews starting out with "I'm a big Stephen King fan" or "I've read the books". I'm not sure we saw the same film.
Am I a King fan? Somewhat. It's hit and miss. Have I read the books? Yes. Does it matter? No. Different mediums.
Kings books haven't had the best track record when being transitioned to film anyway. There's usually too much to fit into a single film, and not enough budget to make them any good so I really wasn't expecting all that much from this film, but I was expecting more than this.
An epic 8 book series that King himself describes as his Magnum Opus turned into a 95 minute film made from scraps taken from the books which takes place after the main story so they can set up a TV series that serves as the prequel. It just doesn't make any sense.
It's like watching a weak double-episode finale of a great TV series without having seen the many seasons leading up to it.
Of all the King books, these are the books that should have been a major film series.
The Lord of the Rings (3 books, 3 films, 673 mins [726 mins Extended]) Harry Potter (7 books, 8 films, 1180 mins) The Dark Tower (8 books, 1 film, 95 mins).
If you are familiar with the story, you will be confused as to why they went this route considering the source material. If you are unfamiliar with it, it comes down to whether or not you like watered down Young Adult type films or not.
Hopefully the TV series is good, which would make the existence of this film even more pointless and bizarre.
The Princess Bride Game (2008)
Not worthy of the name
Im not sure who has been voting on this game, but they either haven't played the game or they are under the age of 10.
This simple flash game is just that. A simple flash game. How they expect people to pay $20 for it is beyond me.
level 1 is basically click here to feed chickens then click there to pick up eggs.
Click here to milk the cows then click there to put it in the jar.
Click here to fetch water, then click there to water the flowers.
etc etc
Level 2 is a multiple choice quiz with some very lame questions. ie.Which of these herbs is NOT used in spaghetti
a) peppermint
b) oregano
and others such as SAILOR is an anagram of
a) IS LOR
b) O RAILS
c) RIAL O
Level 3 is a basic platform game...and I DO mean basic. This is nothing more than the same kind of flash games you can play for free online. In fact, other flash games are far more playable.
The graphics are far from the "movie quality animations" the creators claim. They are nicely drawn but nothing too special.
The cast voices could have been put to better use. All they do is repeat lines said in the movie.
Check out the demo if you are a fan of the movie or looking to kill a few minutes. It gives you 60 minutes of play time which is more than enough.
For free, it would have been a nice little time killer but still nothing too special.
For $20 I recommend going for something far more worthy like "World of Goo"