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Reviews
The Master of Disguise (2002)
Review for Spiner Fans
For my purposes, this title gets a 8 out of 10. Five for the movie itself, an extra two points for Mr. Spiner's diamond blue eyes, and one for the set designer who had the presence of mind to arrange Spiner's character's color scheme around them. Everything around "Devlin Bowman" is blue and white and the effect is quite striking.
The movie is a ninety minute fart joke. I'm not kidding.
Harold Gould, by far and away, delivers the best overall performance in the movie (such as it is). Casting James Brolin in this movie was a definite stroke of completely ridiculous genius. Austin Wolff is, of course, adorable, and Dana Carvey's particular brand of multiple personality disorder is as entertaining as ever (I got a definite chuckle out of Mr. Peru).
Like I said, the movie is a ninety minute fart joke and is quite clearly directed at males between the ages of eight and twelve. If you have a roomful of those kind of people and you'd like them to stop breaking things by playing baseball with the ceiling fan, this movie will at least put them all in one room and occupy them with disgusting noises for about an hour and a half. There's no swearing. The (incredibly) mild "blue" content is really tame and based on a cartoony visual gag, as is the "violence". It's supposed to be a silly, sight gag based comedy and that's exactly what it is.
As for Spiner (you knew I was getting to it); first of all, he's gorgeous. Like I said, the character's entire color scheme is a shade of electric blue that compliments his eyes to the point of being captivating. I was hitting the pause button just because I *had* to look. The jokes are (of course) at his character's expense (he *is* the bad guy, after all), and he, appropriately, rolls out his very best "smarmy/irritated" act (the one that stole "Out To Sea" right out from under two legends). It's amusing and relatively gentle right up until the climax of the movie, where he hits the "crazy button" and doesn't look back. Then it's just plain hilarious. In terms of Spiner-related content, I got exactly what I wanted out of this movie and just a little bit more.
By the way, Classmates.com owes Spiner a big, wet kiss (trust me).
Material Girls (2006)
Review for SpinerFemmes
First, I'd like to say that I am in no way a SpinerFemme. I am a DataGrrl and that's what I hope to stay.
If you're thinking about renting this movie because Brent Spiner is in it, it's worth the money. Pretty eyes. Very pretty eyes. And he dyed his hair brown again, which is very nice (although nowhere near mandatory).
The movie itself is rather pedestrian. I wouldn't have a problem showing it to children maybe between twelve and fourteen. Relatively neutral to positive messages about homosexuality and the main characters are very self-directed. The love between the sisters (Hilary and Haylie Duff) is apparent and clear, even in the scenes where they're supposed to be "fighting". If you're going to press me to be honest, I'd have to say that the movie needs to come with a warning against operating heavy machinery while viewing. If you don't want your kids to see it, feel free to assure them that they're not missing anything.
But if you're thinking of renting or buying this movie for the Brent Spiner angle, again, IT'S WORTH IT. If only for the short shot of his skinny-but-sweet legs. And his pretty, pretty eyes (really. Truly gorgeous).
Threshold (2005)
Gushing in general
For what I intend to do, this series merits a complete and total ten. I watched this series one hundred percent because Brent Spiner (Dr. Nigel Fenway) is in it. That's all. From a member of his faithful little army, IT'S WORTH IT. Good god, is that man stunning. You have to wonder what CBS was thinking when they decided to can this series without even bothering to tell us. When is Hollywood going to learn that thirtysomething women are really, really, really into older men? How many Lara Flynn Boyles and Callista Flockharts have to date how many Jack Nicholsons and Harrison Fords before these morons figure out that what younger women want is that touch of gray with gorgeous eyes and a perfect backside? I could seriously go on forever about it, and I might.
It doesn't hurt that the series is important and engaging. If you're in a mind to question recent "national security" efforts, the story here will definitely give you pause. Everything about the story will have you asking "What if that's really why they're doing this?" You'll spend a few days in a dream seeing aliens everywhere. It's really a great ride, and if you're into scifi at all, you'll love it.
But if you're one of my grrlz (and if you are, you know who you are) you owe it to yourself to catch the series. Spiner's absolutely mindblowing. Buy wine and chocolates first.