chandlercanfly's Reviews

The Next Best Thing (2000)

2/10

20 October 2003

Oh yes, I rented it. Of my own accord, with my own $1.32. I was wary of the whole Madonna thing, but assuming that Rupert Everett (of My Best Friend's Wedding and An Ideal Husband fame) would never do anything TOO stupid, I gave in. And, had I not been watching this with friends, I would have turned it off and returned it half-way through.

This film is a human rights violation. How on earth do movies like this get MADE? Honestly, spending more than a dirty million on a piece of crap like these has got to be a crime. Madonna is pathetic, as always, Everett wouldn't be anything to complain about if his character weren't so silly and moody. Terribly uneven. Together they have a small amount of chemistry, but that falls completely apart after they decide to raise their child together. The secondary characters- Everett's parents, Madonna's future husband and her ex, are unlikeable. The plot is meandering and DULL- and FAR TOO LONG. The only things that should be commended in this clunker of a (sorta)rom-com-drama is the perception of Madonna as a yoga instructor (it works, somehow), and Rupert Everett's eyes comically enlarging as the sole supplier of the only (and few) laughs.

Don't waste your time when you could be seeing perfectly good family dramedies like Kramer vs. Kramer.

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She's All That (1999)

One of the worst of it's genre

10 August 2003

Although teen movies are never to be taken seriously, this is one of the silliest. The plot (if you want to call it that) is mildly entertaining, but the production just doesn't seem to pull together. The dialogue is definitely some of the worst ever written. The characters are stupid, typical, and seem to wander about their high school hell aimlessly (a single text book is NEVER OPENED). The soundtrack isn't even all that great, which is weird for a teen movie.

Why bright young talents like Rachael Leigh Cook, Kieran Culkin, Gabrielle Union, Clea Duvall and Anna Paquin (especially!) wasted their time and energy on this is beyond me. If you must watch a cheesy teen movie, please skip this one and watch Drive Me Crazy or Ten Things I Hate About You instead.

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Grand Hotel (I) (1932)

4/10

Good for 1932

9 August 2003

Grand Hotel is full of drama. Seemingly character-driven, it plows it's way (somewhat elegantly) through the story of hotel residents and how their lives affect one another over a brief period of time. The cast is pretty solid, exception of Greta Garbo, who seems utterly uncertain of what she is supposed to be doing. The premise itself isn't a lousy one, but it's not impressive. The setting is interesting enough, but it's never used to it's full potential.

Film of this sort was certainly considered special at the time it was made, but unfortunately the glamor and intensity is a bit lost to us in the 2000's. It's easy to understand this being remarkable (a best-picture winner) in the 1930's, but now it just seems like an over-blown, over-dramatized, overrated movie. Good, but not outstanding.

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A Simple Plan (1998)

What, you mean money can corrupt? I had no idea!

13 July 2003

Warning: Spoilers

What's that? You say money can corrupt? You say greed can make you do verrry baaad things? Why, I had no idea! Why don't you show me a movie- a really, really LONG movie- about people killing each other over some 'green'! Yes, and be sure to include characters with serious possessive, alcoholic, and family issues. Oh, and put in alot of senseless violence! I love that! And talking, loooots of pointless talking. As much as possible, in fact. And then we can seduce some fairly good acting talent, tell them it's intelligent material, and let them drown themselves in snow. It worked in Fargo!

(spoilers ahead)

THEY ALL DIE.

Yep, they all DIE. Just as I predicted, actually. Did I like this movie? No. Did I hate this movie? Not really. It was mildly effective, I guess, and I must say the end is a very good twist- although by that time I was just kind of praising God that it was over. And as for the moral- I got the point in the first half-hour of the movie. Money and Greed= not good. And I really did not relish watching character after character kick the bucket. I suppose if you really, really adored Fargo you could get into this movie- but be forewarned- there are no cute sheriffs in this one. It should probably be mentioned that I liked neither Fargo nor Simple Plan, and I can kind of see why some people might appreciate it. Appreciate, not LIKE.

However, if you intend on studying brilliant performances- in this movie, this film contains a very significant one by Billy Bob Thorton. I had always heard he was good, but his showcase of talent here was probably worth the $2 rental fee. I can't say the same for the other actors, though.

Bottom line: A good lesson to kids about greed. But... er, don't let them see it or anything. They might fall asleep.

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The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)

10/10

A 10.

29 June 2003

Wes Anderson is truly a genius! His relentless attention to detail is akin to that of Kubrick- only Anderson seems to have a sense of humor and an eye for light. One of the few nearly perfect films of our current film era, The Royal Tenenbaums is fantastic. Best movie of 2001, hands-down. And that's all that I have to say about that.

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Drive Me Crazy (1999)

Surprisingly entertaining!

8 May 2002

Well, the plotline was predictable, however, Drive me Crazy is a highly entertaining teenage romp. The dialogue is witty, the theme is good-spirited, and, as in every teen movie, the soundtrack is great.

The film has its flaws, however, particularly in Melissa Joan Hart, one of the worst actresses of our time. Thanks to her, an almost entirely likeable character is ruined. Her cute lines are recited flatly, and she adds no wit or life to the film. However, I was very impressed with the actor portraying Nicole's project, Adrian Grenier. His looks and intelligent delivery make the entire film worth seeing.

Overall, a cute and cheery romance that does not feature the head cheerleader nor the lowest of the low geek- it presents it's characters and storyline in a fun, believable way, and it'll leave you loving every minute of it.

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